Dear respected Master!
Dear Fellow Practitioners!
I started practising Falun Dafa in 2008, but I always say I started cultivation truly in 2010 when I started doing the three things.
First of all I would like to share, that even though I really wanted to finish my sharing paper for this European Fa Conference by the deadline, but different fears held me back and I was too late. One day I was writing to a fellow practitioner about how important it is that he writes a sharing about teaching the excercises, because it helped me a lot that I could be there and listen to him. He answered that yes, it would probably be good, but numerous fears hold him back, e.g. he is not good enough or that someone would criticise him. These were the exact fears that I had. But they were hidden to the point that I only realised I had them at that point. I was continuously thinking what I could say to him, but I could not answer until I understood that these were exactly the attachments I should let go of.
These lines appeared in my mind from Master in Zhuan Falun, Lecture 4: In most cases, one transforms karma through xinxing conflicts among one another, and this is where it manifests itself. While one is in a conflict, the clashes between each other even surpass the physical pains. I would say that the physical pains are the easiest thing to endure, as they can be overcome by biting the teeth tightly. When a conflict takes place between one another, the mind is the hardest thing to control.”
Then a thought formed in my mind, that yes, if it is still possible to submit an experience sharing for the Fa Conference, I will not back down. A few hours after this thought, a letter came from the European FXH, stating that they had prolonged the deadline… I could hardly believe my eyes. It was like a hint from Master. And, so I started to write.
1. My mother left the Earth
On august 2nd 2014, during sending forth righteous thoughts at midday I got a phone call that was like a bolt from the blue. My mother left us. I did not know such a pain exists. Before I thought that I had experienced a lot. Moreover I am a Falun Dafa cultivator, who knows that the life on Earth is just a state. But for a moment, everything ceased to exist for me. I wanted to go home to my father as soon as possible, but we were 2 hours away by car. I was travelling with my fellow practitioners, who are also my family members. I felt that I couldn’t show them what I feel, because they would not understand it. I am a cultivator. I have to take this lightly, I was saying to myself. One of my greatest fears in childhood was losing my mother… and there, on that hot summer day, at 24 years old I had to face this. And for months I could not get over it. In the first weeks I had to quickly recover myself, because Tian Guo Marching Band was coming to Hungary. This was a huge thing for us, for my fellow practitioners and also for the sentient beings of Hungary. I did not want to let my fellow practitioners and the sentient beings down, so I did what I had to do and asked Master to help me get over this.
I was diligent in Fa study, and got to this part in Zhuan Falun, Lecture 6: “Since one’s real life is one’s Primordial Spirit, the one who gives birth to your Primordial Spirit is your real mother. In the course of samsara, you have had mothers who were human and non-human, and there are too many of them to be numbered. It is also countless how many sons and daughters you have had throughout your different lifetimes. Who is your mother? Who is your son or daughter? No one knows it after one passes away. You must still pay for what you owe others. Human beings live in delusion and just cannot give up these things. Some people cannot let go of their sons and daughters and claim how good they are, and then they pass away. One may speak of how good one’s mother is, but then she also dies. This person grieves so much that he almost wants to follow her for the rest of his life. Why don’t you think about it? Aren’t they here to torment you?”
I recited this part many times and tried to do my best to get rid of my sentimentality. But, as soon as we finished the events with the marching band, I felt I could give some ground to my human side and started to cry. This was very human and it was quite hard to get back to my usual self. I got a lot of help from the process of going through the new translation of Zhuan Falun with a fellow practitioner. We worked on it almost every morning for up to 2 hours. I can't be thankful enough to Master for this arrangement. I was forced to study Fa with high concentration. We did not only read together, we were correcting the translation. So I had to pay a lot of attention. The power of the Fa was amazing. Also my fellow practitioner's boundless compassion helped me a lot to get through this period when she talked about her own experiences. It felt extremely good that she did not condemn me, or say that I shouldn’t behave that way.
Through studying the Fa, everything can be solved, every test can be passed. Maybe not on the first attempt, maybe we fall down in the process, but we can always stand up again. Losing my mother also reminded me of an important point: our time is limited. However hard I would like to do things connected to her better and help her more… I can't do it any more. I can't turn back the wheel of time. But I still have a chance of cultivating myself better and to do the three things better, to save more sentient beings.
2. Joining the Ride to Freedom project
The second part of my sharing is closely connected to the first part. Namely, we got the news about Ride to Freedom around the time when I understood that saving sentient beings is extremely urgent, and that we need to let go of our attachments in every respect. When I learnt more about the project, I was a little shocked. I thought it would not be easy for me. I'm attached to a lot of things, and it's very hard for me when I don't have my own privacy. The tour was going to be more than 6 weeks. This scared me, but then I found this passage from “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa:”
“As they see it, “If you are to save me, you have to reach my level first, and you must have this measure of mighty virtue before you can save me. Without such mighty virtue, without having reached my stature, how could you save me?” So they would have you trip and fall, suffer, and eliminate your attachments, after which, with your mighty virtue having been established, you will have cultivated to that level and be able to save them.” (Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference)
I realised this chance was a really great chance to let go of my attachments to comfort and laziness. And I did not even know how great a chance it was.
First we introduced the project to our family and friends. I was surprised by their feedback. Before they were not really interested in our efforts to stop the persecution. Now they happily joined our selfie-campaign, which was about taking a photo with us and posting it to social media along with some text to explain what we were doing. For example: ”We shouldered this 5,000 km tour from LA to DC to raise awareness of the children, orphaned by the persecution against Falun Gong. Thank you for supporting us!” This way all our friends and followers could see this post.
My understanding is that this is a very good thing, because the social media followers openly supported Dafa. While preparing for the tour, I thought that this already made it worthwhile. In the meantime I had to let go of many attachments to material things. The tour started with a big budget, but that dried up soon. So it became a much bigger financial investment than we initially thought. We also knew that while on tour we would have expenses, and not much income. Time was running out and more and more hardships appeared. Several practitioners left the project. I knew we couldn't give up; we had to move forward steadfastly.
Just before leaving Hungary I got a chance to participate in a 4-day event that is one of the most popular events where I live. I have never been to this event before, so I did not know exactly what to expect. Usually this event is washed away by rain, and it seemed to happen this time too. The first day we were standing there in rain and icy wind, all day. We did not give up, we could not give up. The 2nd day the rain only came for the morning, and by the 4th day, the rain only came after the event was over. We made lots of photos and clarified the truth to a lot of people about the persecution against Falun Dafa. We participate in several events with Ride to Freedom, and they all went very well. People not only heard about the persecution, but they actively wanted to help. And almost everybody told us how fantastic these kids are, even though they are only teenagers, sacrificing their summer holiday for such a noble purpose.
3. The tour
I was already worried on the flight. I was worried about my imperfect English, worried about how will I be able to get over each day, how well I will be able to let go of my attachments, taking hardships easily. I took the strategy of steadfastly doing the exercises, studying the Fa and sending righteous thoughts. When I had a free minute, I was doing one of these. In the same time, slowly my fears came up to face me. The 3rd night we spent in the desert. We had only a tarp. It was an interesting feeling to face the fact that I can't do anything. I can't escape from here. I have to sleep here. I was sweating. I was terribly afraid of spiders, snakes and bugs. I thought of going to the toilet to gather my strength. When I was about to go, others warned me to look around carefully before entering the toilet, just to make sure nothing jumps on me… I did not know whether I should cry or laugh. Then I found one of the girls there from the team, fearing to enter the door. Without a thought, I opened the door, checked the place and let her in.
This situation made me realise that I'm a practitioner, and things don't just happen by coincidence. We are a part of it. I can't let my fears conquer me, because then a snake or anything similar will really appear. Master's Fashen is with us, if my belief in Master and the Fa is pure, nothing can happen to me. And this is how I can do my best to help the whole team, since I'm also responsible for them
In Zhuan Falun, Lecture 4, Master says: ”My fashen know everything—they know everything on your mind, and they can do anything. They will not take care of you if you do not practice cultivation. If you practice cultivation, they will help you all the way to the end.”
This understanding helped me overcome the even hardest situations, reminding me that nothing bad can happen.
Every minute of every day was a continuous lesson. If we can believe in Master and the Fa unconditionally, we are able to think of others in every situation and let go of our attachments. I think to a certain degree we can succeed and save a lot of beings.
The above are only my current understandings on my limited level. Please point out compassionately, if anything is not appropriate.
Thank you Master, thank you Fellow Practitioners!
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