Before I obtained the Fa, six years ago, I looked for a master and a cultivation way that truly let me cultivate. However, I did not want to leave society because I believed that everyone has a mission to fulfil. I felt that I was needed by people. When I obtained the Fa in 2009, I felt deep in my heart that I found my Master. Everything felt so familiar and I felt great gratitude.
When I read Master's new articles I became aware of my responsibilities and the importance of saving sentient beings. However, it troubled me that I came across so many tribulations. Whenever I was on my way to an information day, or when I wanted to save another sentient being, I experienced palpitations, uncomfortable pressure in my chest and my body shivered. I felt unsure and I wasn't myself. I also was often in a state of great anxiety, I felt that my fellow practitioners and ordinary people who had many different kinds of opinions could achieve anything, while I could not. All this was a great challenge and stopped me from ex-pressing myself to people. Although I worked on this problem and sent righteous thoughts, I felt that I did not improve. I wanted to do well and felt desperation. I asked myself why I experience this state.
Advancing in my cultivation while promoting Shen Yun
When I was asked to assist with the Shen Yum promotion for the first time, I visited shops with a Chinese practitioner. Again I felt that anxiety; I did not know what to say and even hesitated to go into the shop. I was desperate, allowed my heart to be moved and therefore was unable to break through this impasse. Then, my fellow practitioner just pushed me through the door. Thus, I did not have time to think and my negative attitude disappeared more and more. Since then I just act and ignore my negative state. I realized that if I hold these negative thoughts, I will not get rid of my problems, and will instead strengthen this kind of state.
I looked within and realized that I had an attachment that demanded others should like me. Since then I found more and more of my attachments that are fundamentally based on my ego. I also recognized that the old forces saw this attachment, took advantage of my loophole, hindered my saving of sentient beings and interfered with my cultivation.
Shen Yun is a precious gift and a project that allows me to rise in cultivation levels. During this promotional activity, my ego clearly showed itself. In 2015 I manned the promotional booth for the Shen Yun shows in Hamburg. During my first time at the booth, I did not have an Ipad whilst other practitioners were using them.
I started a conversation with a passerby and a fellow practitioner interrupted with a promo film on the iPad. I felt uncomfortable, because this practitioner took over the conversation. Moreover, it seemed that the conversation centred around the costumes and the promoter and lacked truthfulness. After another passerby had watched the preview, I approached him, but a more experienced fellow practitioner took over. I felt that I would never have a chance to talk to people about the show, which pained me.
My heart was heavy. Immediately the environment changed and the passersby became unfriendly. I could hardly hold back my tears. I tried the usual approach in such situations and sent righteous thoughts but to no avail. My fellow practitioners were compassionate and I finally was able to look within. I wanted to do well again, which meant I wanted to prove my-self. I did not want to lose face and be criticized for it. Out of pride I refused support from practitioners and thus put myself under pressure. I did not cooperate well. Instead I judged their discussion about the costumes and thus thought that I was better. As soon as I realized this, the ego substance was destroyed and the passersby no longer rejected me. I felt a strong energy during the discussions and we were successful.
I am grateful that Master arranged for Shen Yun to come to Bremen. Many of my relatives live in that town and thus were saved. Wherever I went, I met people with predestined relationships and Master guided me. For example, a passerby came to the booth and gave us pas-try. I ate it during my break and a man stopped to talk to me. Unfortunately I had no flyers with me and could not turn the conversation to talking about Shen Yun. During my next break, I suddenly thought about going to a particular shop. I met the man again and we started up a conversation. He got a flyer and I learned that although we often think we came up with an idea in reality it is much more complicated. I often experience such situations where I just happen to bump into someone I want to talk to or my friends appear out of nowhere at the promotion booth. It was very moving.
To serve the people better, I needed an Ipad because I am involved in promotions. However, I am not familiar with this equipment. I put out classified ads and sent out inquiries. Suddenly I was asked to pay over 200 Euros for a device I did not want. I felt uncomfortable, but then I thought that it is only money.
Master said: “Material wealth does not come with birth, and neither will it go with you after death—they are very hollow.” (Zhuan Falun)
I decided to call the man and tell him openly and honestly the situation. This call resolved the problem immediately and the man was very nice. I got the Ipad I needed. Therefore, going forward, I will always try to be open and sincere.
My ego caused me to experience emotions, such as fear and uncertainty. I shared with a fellow practitioner that I was untruthful to my parents, because I did not want to tell them that I was involved with the Shen Yun promotion every weekend. I felt that I could not visit my parents during that time. I was afraid of rejection and that others might think badly of me. After sharing with my fellow practitioner, I visited my parents and told them everything. They were impressed by the changes in me and came to a better understanding of Shen Yun. Just the opposite happened from what I had expected and I saw my parents more often than usual. My mother actively advertised the Shen Yun shows and my grandfather and his girlfriend bought a ticket. Master provided my family a wonderful opportunity.
While manning another promotion booth, my ego came to the forefront even more. Practitioners would encourage me after each rejection but a force tried to make me give up. I felt that this substance was trying to take hold of me. Attachments or sentiments are like demons that need to be pampered regularly. I did not feel the urge to eliminate this substance when I sent righteous thoughts. Now, when I feel that this condition is trying to overcome me, I immediately approach people openly and honestly and thus am able to destroy this substance. I noticed that my words have more power and I can remove the substances and the false opinions of people during a conversation.
In addition, I wondered for a long time how I could return to my original self. During the promotion of Shen Yun, I often felt rushed and then thoughts would show up laced with human desires. For example, I don't think that “I want to do the exercises” but that “ I have to do the exercises.” I could not calm down for a long time when I did the exercises or studied the Fa. When studying the Fa, I often am interfered with thoughts that I read better than others, and so on. Of course, I knew that this was a wrong thought, but I did not try to actively eliminate such thoughts. It was my ego interfering. My body is a cosmos and I'm in charge of it. If I have any kind of feeling in my body, such as pressure or tension, I direct my attention to that area. Then, I sent righteous thoughts and destroy this phony state.
I also noticed that some kind of entity disturbs me when I read the Fa, and talks to me. Now, I have times when I study only a few pages of the Fa, but I concentrate solely on the Fa during that time. I am sometimes in a state when I find Zhuan Falun to be fascinating, incredibly deep and there are many hints. When I can't concentrate during the exercises, I stop, clean my thoughts and look within. This helps me to attain the sacred feeling I had at the beginning of my cultivation.
Power of our thoughts
There was a time when I was in a poor state. The old forces used my ego and arranged an inappropriate relationship with a man and I had problems because of these feelings. Thank you Master for giving me a hint.
Master said: “Under such difficult circumstances, this person is still not lost and wants to come back. As a result, people will help him and unconditionally give him a hand—they will help him with anything … My fashen know everything—they know everything on your mind, and they can do anything. They will not take care of you if you do not practice cultivation. If you practice cultivation, they will help you all the way to the end. (Zhuan Falun)
I was touched by Master's compassion and realized that the Fa that always warns us. Master let me understand the boundless power of the Fa and that we will pass every tribulation. I also realized that I felt physical discomfort because I had emotional baggage and my thoughts did not comply with the Fa.
Master said: “Whichever kind of life form your thinking aligns with, that life form will immediately have an effect on you.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)
The old forces take advantage of these loopholes and impose physical conditions on practitioners. It first appears to be a small condition and it is just like an illusion that can be easily eliminated with righteous thoughts. But, if we look at it with human thoughts, do not immediately eliminate it and refuse to change our thoughts, then this condition and this substance will grow. Therefore, it is very important that the heart remains unmoved. We should think that no matter what happens, we will only follow “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance” and aim to be a being that exists only for others. I often remind myself by repeating Master's teachings.
Master said: I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe.” (Zhuan Falun)
Therefore, I passed the tribulation and it was like a test of life and death. I looked at it as an opportunity to cultivate and eliminate more of my ego and emotional attachments.
Master said: “If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble.” (Zhuan Falun)
Compassion is the state of deities. As a practitioner I must always think of others first and consider what will be best for others. What I mean is that we have to be compassionate when we point out others’ loopholes, and not judge anyone. We have all been chosen as a Dafa disciple by Master. Given this environment, we have formed many attachments during our rein-carnations. To return home now, we must let go of all attachments. Let us support each other, awaken each other and show sympathy for each other.
Master said: “Of course, this undertaking hasn't been completed yet, Fa-rectification hasn't been concluded, so there's still a chance for you to do well again. Indeed, as long as there's still one day when the persecution hasn't ended, that day is an opportunity. Use it well, do better, come back sooner, and don't miss any more opportunities. Don't dwell on your past mistakes--if you've made mistakes, then do well from now on. Don't think about the things that have happened. Think about how to do well from now on, and become truly responsible to yourself and to sentient beings.” (“Touring North America to Teach the Fa”)
I think that we should save as many sentient beings as possible. I've often dreamed that a big flood will cover Germany. It's really horrible, as so many sentient beings are destroyed. Do not feel discouraged because the end is near, but take it as an encouragement to be more diligent
Master said: “The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
The above is my own understanding, which is limited to my cultivation level.
I thank Master for his boundless compassion. I also thank my fellow practitioners for their support.
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