Greetings revered Master!
Greetings fellow practitioners!
Looking back on the 22 years of trials and tribulations that I’ve been through, I feel very emotional. If it had not been for cultivation or Master’s help, I wouldn’t have got where I am today. In the past couple of years, my life and cultivation has changed a lot. Here I’d like to report to Master and fellow practitioners some of my cultivation experiences.
1. Letting Go of the Attachment to Family. Keeping Up with the Fa Rectification Process
My husband, who I had lived with for 23 years, passed away in September 2016. Overwhelmed by grief, I hit an all-time low. Fellow practitioners took me for a walk by the river. Passing the bench where my husband used to sit and mounting the familiar path, I could not hold back the tears. Fellow practitioners were surprised at how much I was attached to my family.
My husband was a German. When we decided to get married two decades ago, he was diagnosed with Motor Neurone disease. Back then he was in his twenties and barely able to work. His parents cried profusely and asked me to reconsider whether to marry him.
Then he took me out for a walk with a heavy heart. He told me that his illness was incurable in Germany. One day he would be wheelchair-bound. Gazing at his kind, tear-filled eyes, I said, "Let's get married. We’ll fight fate together."
After getting married, I studied at a German university. Due to the stress of university, I was tormented by stomach problems for more than a year. I took western medicine every day. The dosage was high, so I was often drowsy, but the disease continued to attack. My husband’s condition also deteriorated. I felt that my life was endless suffering.
Fortunately, I received the book Falun Gong and exercise videos sent from China in February 1996. I finished reading the book in one go and my heart was filled with hope. The next day I started to learn the exercises. It took only two weeks and my gastropathy was completely gone. Seeing the changes in me, my husband took up the practice too.
His condition also greatly improved. He continued working for many years. Unfortunately, he failed to overcome the disease. Gradually he became unable to take care of himself and retired early. I stayed at home to look after him while taking part in Dafa projects that could be done from home.
Because I stayed at home for many years to look after my husband, my cultivation path was also unusual. Many times I faced the test of my husband’s life and death. Each time compassionate Master saved his life. Witnessing him living on after the hospital had given up on him, his family and relatives were convinced. They saw that we had perseverance and conviction beyond ordinary people, which we obtained from Dafa.
After my husband’s death, I felt deeply depressed. I blamed myself that if I had done well in cultivation, he would have survived.
While I was in pain, several German cities were in the heat of Shen Yun promotion. Fellow practitioners urged me to join the promotional activities. I agreed.
Once I was promoting Shen Yun with a young practitioner in a large shopping centre. All smiles, the practitioner enthusiastically presented the beauty of Shen Yun to the customers and had a lot of interaction with them, while I only gave out Shen Yun brochures. When I saw a customer in a wheelchair, I immediately thought of my husband and felt grief-stricken.
At that time the practitioner asked me, "How can you promote the beauty of Shen Yun to others when you are full of sadness?" The practitioner’s words hit me like a stick wakeup. I suddenly realized my selfishness. So many sentient beings were waiting to be saved, while I got caught up in the attachment to family. Wasn‘t it the path arranged by the old forces?
Later, I took part in promotion in three cities where Shen Yun performances were to be held. As the desire to save people became stronger and stronger, I thought of my husband less and less. Finally, I completely calmed down.
Through Fa study I saw a deeply hidden attachment over so many years of caring for my husband, which is the attachment to fame. I hoped he could stand up and validate the Fa. There was also selfishness: his triumph would have validated how firm and full of righteous thoughts I had been after enduring so many years of trials.
The death of my husband made me calmly reflect upon my cultivation and identify a dirty attachment. Through cultivation, I would try to get rid of it.
2. Cultivating in the Media
After my husband’s death, I needed to find a job right away. Having stayed at home for many years, I had no work experience. Half a year passed without any progress. Some fellow practitioners were of the opinion that since I majored in Chinese I’d be best suited to work in our own media. Later I got an opportunity to have a go in the Epoch Times.
In the beginning, it was rather difficult for me to adapt. We worked in the office six days a week, sitting in front of the computer for a very long time. The amount of work was huge. It was totally different from my flexible routine at home for the last two decades. I had to hand it to those practitioners who work in the media long term.
My understanding of the media was superficial at the time. I also took on other projects. So I couldn’t still my mind or put my heart into it. I didn’t have time to learn the basics necessary for news production. The quality of my work was not up to standard. A few months later I was told I was no longer needed there, which undoubtedly dealt me another blow.
A media veteran practitioner pointed out my problem: I did not fully understand the role of the Epoch Times in Fa-rectification. The practitioner’s words made me think. Yes, I needed to work, so I joined the media, but I didn’t do my best. Isn’t it ordinary people’s attachment to self-interest? Isn’t it a serious problem to take advantage of a big project for saving people?
I quickly adjusted my mentality and silently promised to Master: "No matter where I’m headed, I’ll do what I should do well, following the path arranged by Master."
I had time then, so I decided to volunteer writing articles for the media. After a while, I found that my cultivation state improved a lot. My mind became still. I was quick at learning new things and begun to get into doing media work.
Subsequently, when I was writing about Dafa subjects, I felt that my level was rising. I used to get tired of reading articles about practitioners being persecuted. Now when I come across these subjects, my heart is often touched. Under the evil persecution mainland practitioners did not give in or complain, whereas I’m miserable as soon as I run into any kind of tribulation. How huge is the gap!
Isn’t it Fa validation to show the righteous thoughts and goodness of fellow practitioners to the world? Isn’t it saving sentient beings to reveal the CCP’s persecution? How important is our media!
Once, I accidentally saw the click through rate of 15,000 for an article I wrote a month previously. I was surprised that so many people read it. The content was to unveil the secret cause for the downfall of Lu Yi, the former Deputy Minister of the CCP’s Publicity Department and former Head of the Cyberspace Administration of China (CAC), which persecuted Falun Gong. Isn't it exposing the evil to save people? Only then did I thoroughly understand the impact of writing good articles in Fa-rectification.
As my understanding and level advanced, my articles also improved accordingly. Soon practitioners in the editorial department told me that I could stay on full time at the Epoch Times.
Through more than half a year of media work, I realized that if I didn't cultivate myself in the media I wouldn't improve or do the job well because only cultivators are fit to work in our media.
I witnessed the dedication of the media practitioners, their cooperation and silent complement. From first draft to the finished piece an article of mine has many practitioners’ painstaking efforts poured into it. We all have one wish: to run our media well and meet Master’s requirements. I am very grateful to fellow media practitioners for their help. I saw many virtues of cultivators in them.
3. Doing Well as A Coordinator, Saving More People
When I was still on trial with the media in August last year, the head of the German Falun Dafa Association told me that the Frankfurt team urgently needed a new coordinator. After careful consideration, I was chosen to take up the task. I was put in a very difficult position. Still a newbie to media work, I had no time to do anything else. Unable to decline straight up, I replied, "Let me think about it."
A month passed, I still didn't want to do it. Some practitioners shared with me, "You are a veteran practitioner. For a long time you were not able to leave home. Now you have nothing to worry about. You still won't come out? You can't just think about yourself!"
I felt that plenty of comments were directed at my selfishness. I didn't hesitate any more and accepted. Next, I was busy looking for a house and moving, which was very time consuming. Yet I didn't feel confident. How does one coordinate a group of dozens?
There were many veteran practitioners in the group, which in fact had a sound foundation. Some practitioners clarified the truth at tourist attractions for years. The only thing was that everyone must work together to create an environment that actively saves sentient beings.
Frankfurt is a popular destination for Chinese tourists. The city holds international fairs throughout the year, sometimes with thousands of mainland Chinese professionals in attendance.
I shared with practitioners in the group. Master said clearly in the Fa that we must clarify the facts to Chinese tourists. Our only option was to do it well. Everyone agreed, so we immediately increased the time for truth clarification. Afterwards we got permission to hold the Information Day event six days a week.
In addition, since September last year we had an opportunity to clarify the facts to the Chinese exhibitors at a fair. Experienced practitioners from other cities also came to support. Outside the fair we held an Information Day event. Western practitioners actively cooperated. As such our righteous thoughts were very strong, and the effect was brilliant. Once, more than 600 Chinese exhibitors quit the CCP in four days.
Frankfurt is a tolerant city that accommodates people of all nations. While clarifying the facts to the Chinese, we held a candlelight vigil once a week in the city centre for more than half a year. People from all over the world came to learn the truth. One after another they signed petitions against the CCP’s persecution. Through the truth clarification efforts that we put in for half a year, the group’s righteous thoughts grew stronger and stronger.
In the process of coordinating, I have also encountered many character tests, which allowed me to gradually learn to cultivate myself. For a while, I had differences of opinion with two or three practitioners on different subjects. They felt their methods were the right ones, whereas I thought the opposite. We were locked in a stalemate. Soon their criticism of me became bitter. I tried to share with them, but to no avail.
I felt a bit strange. I pointed out that one of them was stubborn, and that person also accused me of being stubborn. I told another that they had a strong attachment to competitiveness, and the same was said about me. Thinking about it, I had all the loopholes that I saw in them. It was as clear as looking in a mirror. Isn't it a reminder for me to cultivate myself?
I confessed to them about my own loopholes and apologized. To my surprise, some of them also confessed their own problems, and some apologized to me, which made me see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I enlightened that it was Master who highlighted my problems in this form and reminded me to cultivate myself diligently. After this incident, I found that my capacity gradually expanded.
In short, through the past couple of years of cultivation, I realize that I can only walk my path straight and well by cultivating myself whenever I encounter problems, following the path arranged by Master.
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