Following my Heart

Veronika Weberova from Czech Republic

I would also like to share some of my experiences. My name is Veronika. I am 23 years old and I come from Bohemia in the Czech Republic. I got to know Falun Dafa in the USA about a year ago and have been practising since then.

It was one of my dreams that brought me to make a decision to leave Czech Republic for the USA. In that dream I suddenly realised that I was dreaming. Something like snow plains or white clouds were spreading out below me.

I went to a town in New Jersey, USA to take care three little children. Yet when I was not very busy, feelings of loneliness pressed hard down on me. Nothing from the world really attracted me and everything seemed to me very superficial. I desperately longed to realise the truth of who I really was, but all my efforts to reach beyond my mind would fail.

Once I made for a local library where I found a flyer about a Falun Dafa practice site, which was located a few minutes from the place I was staying in. I decided to go there in spite of the fact that I nearly stopped believing that something like a genuine teaching which could give me what I was looking for exists. Something that could truly fill up my heart, something my heart could fully accept without reservation and something that would enable me to ascend because many systems, in which I used to believe, did not give that to me. However, after some time of practising Falun Dafa, I changed my mind. Gradually I began to understand that Falun Dafa is so pure and powerful, that it is beyond man’s imagination. Had it not been for the practitioners, who radiated such peace and embodied qualities of Truthfulness, Benevolence and Forbearance and whose words carried a deep-seated conviction with no trace of zealotry, I do not know if I would have been able to open my heart to this gift, to a possibility to practise cultivation in Falun Dafa.

A few months later, my heart said I should return to Bohemia as I had an increasing feeling that my sick grandma was calling me. I did not want to leave the USA and my job and mainly my practice group. Anyway, I decided to return to Bohemia.

I stayed at home with my grandma and she appreciated it. After a while my aunt advised me to teach English from home. I put an advertisement in the paper and many people came. So I had a job I could do at home and at the same time I could look after my grandma and my parents were content.

I practised and read the books of Falun Gong by myself and hardly made any effort to pass the Fa (principles of Falun Gong) to someone else. After some time, however, I gained a feeling that the Fa was not given to me only to cultivate my mind and body but also to let other people in Bohemia learn the truth about Falun Dafa. I had a feeling that I should start with the translation of Zhuan Falun. I thought my girlfriend could help me with it, so I decided to get our computer connected to the internet to send her my translations. As soon as I was connected I received an e-mail from the American practitioners about the experience sharing conference to be held in Geneva in a few days time. I knew instantly that I would go even though it was not easy for my mind to follow my heart. Only there I began to understand how important it was to spread the Fa and clarify the truth to people. My understanding deepened and I was in amazement. The presence of so many practitioners with deep understanding of the Fa gave me what was undoubtedly one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. Nonetheless, among other practitioners, I had an unpleasant feeling that my mind was very impure and my understanding of the Fa very superficial. It was hard to overcome this feeling so I was glad I was going home. I also felt bad that I had not done anything for Falun Dafa in Bohemia and finally wanted to start. I was sitting at the bus station in Geneva waiting for my coach. That night I dreamt about missing a train, so I sensed something was about to happen, but did not really want to accept it. The time was rolling on and I still did not see my coach. I asked a lady from the information desk about it and she told me everything was well and not to worry. After the time of departure passed, I asked her again and this time she told me with an expressionless face that my coach had gone and the next one departs in two days. The coach had been there all the time but I did not notice it. I was supposed to go by a Czech coach but they provided a different one. I knew that there was something more for me to learn from this experience. The conference was to finish in two days time. Despite knowing this, I felt disturbed and did not want to accept it. At that moment I had to overcome my feelings and return among the practitioners. I had barely enough money for two more nights in a hotel. I knew that it was possible to find accommodation in a hostel, but I had only a dim idea where it was. I walked the streets and suddenly the hostel, where the people I should meet were staying, appeared in front of me. There was only one last bed left and I very happily paid for it. In the end I was really grateful that things were arranged this way since the Falun Dafa activities were not yet over.

After arriving home I started translating Zhuan Falun and practising in public. When I practised at home, I felt it was a pity that I was not outside, something was wrong with that and my heart missed something. When I went out to practice, my meditations and exercises gained quite a different quality and my heart turned content. It said: “This is what I am supposed to do.” I could hear bells tinkling above my head and for the first time I could hear birds singing so beautifully. It was like they enjoyed and took part in my meditation with their singing.

I wanted to go to a bigger town to practise. It would be quite easy since no one would know me there but time would not permit me to do it very often. The idea to practise in the square of our village, however, seemed to me absurd. What will people think of me? Then I realised that it was my fear that was ridiculous. Fellow practitioners in China take the risk of loosing their lives how could fear of what people would think of me stop me? How could I fear other people’s thoughts? I found a place for practising in a little park next to our square where I would not be so obvious. No one paid attention to me and no one took my flyer. After reading one of the Falun Gong articles, I realised that if there are no thoughts in my mind such as “practicing in the square is absurd” neither will others have these thoughts in their minds and will accept it. I went to practise and sat down in the middle of the square. I felt relatively calm and peaceful. Some people took flyers. Then a group of teenagers appeared, whose attention I captured too much. They were testing me. They did lots of things to prevent me from meditating but did not succeed. They screamed loudly, threw rocks around me, ran fast around me and played their mobile phones’ melodies into my ears. As I did not react, they gave up. I knew they were reflecting some impure parts of my mind and that I have to work on myself. I knew that when my mind is purer and my xinxing (heart/mind nature) improves, these things will not be allowed to happen and it will be easier to spread the Fa.

One day I visited the mayor of our town to ask him for our government member’s address and on this occasion told him about the situation in China. I also brought him an article about it and asked him to put in the local paper. I was talking about Falun Dafa but what I was emitting were not qualities of Falun Dafa but rather my nervousness. After that I had an unpleasant feeling that I did not defend Dafa. That week my grandmother passed away and the funeral was the next day. We did not find a speaker for that day but my cousin grasped the task of preparing a speech. I had an idea that I could also say something there. In my speech I expressed that only because of this practice I was able to look after my grandma with such kindness, patience and tirelessness and take this work as a wonderful opportunity to improve my character. This time I was able to accept my nervousness and deal with it better. People were moved by this unusual speech. My parents were proud of me.

Dafa (the Great Law) fills my heart deeply. It carries me through life. The things that would bring me into a depression before do not have this power any longer, for Dafa supports me and does not let me fall down. I do not need to occupy my mind with my health and worry whether the food I eat is healthy or not. I am able to respect other people’s fates and not interfere in them. Dafa opens the door for me to the innermost depths of my heart, leads me and enables me to abandon my attachments and at the same time makes it much easier. I know that as long as I am in harmony with Dafa, there will not be any obstacle I would not be able to overcome, and there will not be any attachment I would not be able to abandon. What I perceive is so immense and for a human mind so inconceivable and yet I am still at the very surface of it. I believe that if I manage to transcend my human thoughts to a greater degree, I will be able me to really spread the Fa in Bohemia so that people in Bohemia may discover and accept the Fa. This is the vision that guides and fills my heart.

Posting date: 09/15/2001
Source: 2001 Nordic Fa Conference
Category: Personal Stories of Practising Falun Gong

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