I first began to practise Falun Dafa in March of 1999. Only a few months after I started, the persecution began. I remember the first day of the persecution when the rumours claimed white to be black, I read Zhuan Falun from cover to cover and then again. I felt an awakening from the bottom of my heart. With tears falling down my face my heart became steadfast. I went through this step by step. I realised the seriousness and difficulty of cultivation. Facing the tribulations, I saw many of my defects and I decided to do better little by little. As a result I am more strict with myself in both life and work.
In 2001, I was transferred to the capital city of the province to begin work. This made it possible for me to communicate with other practitioners. Later on I began to do things, like clarifying the truth. One day in 2003 I read by chance an ad in a newspaper that a computer was on sale. I said to myself, "How wonderful this will be. With that I can print materials exposing the truth about Falun Gong." I bought the computer and the printer. At that time I still considered navigating the Internet something as difficult as climbing to Heaven. I studied slowly by myself. Later Teacher arranged for fellow practitioners to teach me how to print materials and burn VCDs. Now I had the materials but I lacked experience and was also afraid. I dared not distribute too many. Fellow practitioners didn't want too many materials, either. There were some who even opposed distributing materials. Their position was that it was all right to just tell the truth verbally. They all thought that it would be OK that those who had never distributed flyers in the past helped a little bit. I couldn't break through.
Then one day I realised that it was actually a depraved notion--that there must be somebody who teaches and leads the way whenever something new is to be learnt-- stopped me. Plus, I was selfish and fearful as well as dependent on others. So I made up my mind to break through. I would try to make a path first and then everybody could try to break through together. After I distributed flyers by myself in the villages and buildings nearby and accumulated some experience, I felt that I was no longer as afraid as I was before. At that time I asked another practitioner to come with me to distribute flyers. I remember the first time I went to distribute VCDs with another practitioner, I had a dream that night. In the dream I was late for work. The work unit had just given everyone something, and they had left one for me. It was something which was so shining and transparent that it looked like a heavenly fruit and it tasted so sweet. I knew that our benevolent Master was encouraging me: although I was late getting started, as long as I was diligent, a beautiful future was waiting.
Because of the persecution that was going on, the environment of studying the Falun Gong teachings together which we had during the peaceful time was destroyed. We could not consider studying together, as this would bring trouble or danger. We were afraid and disturbed by human notions and were binding ourselves so we could never break through. In this case, we couldn't strive forward diligently together, let alone form a unified body which could not be defeated, not to mention being able to cooperate with the overall requirements of Fa-rectification. If we could break through this situation and remove these negative notions, Falun Dafa would manifest a magical power which no one could imagine.
One practitioner had been responsible for giving materials only to Dafa practitioners for a very long time. He was very afraid of stepping forward. The practitioners who got materials from him were not very diligent, either. During a long vacation, he and another practitioner came to the city where I live. They shared experiences, watched Teacher's lectures on video day and night, and studied the Fa together. Their admiration of Teacher, their true and righteous belief in Dafa, as well as bathing in Dafa's purity, beauty, and righteousness strongly melted everyone's heart. These two practitioners truly felt the power of Falun Gong from the bottom of their hearts. They were deeply shaken.
When they went back, they began to organise group Fa-study among local practitioners. They also bought a printer in order to make flyers. Group Fa-study is the way of cultivation that Teacher gave us. During the persecution, if we can continue to study the Fa together, this is the negation of the arrangement by the old forces and the eradication of human notions. This uplifts us during cultivation.
It is more important to alter one's notions during individual cultivation. Teacher had already told us in Lunyu:
"'The Buddha Fa' is most profound; among all the theories in the world, it is the most intricate and extraordinary science. In order to explore this domain, humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking. Otherwise, the truth of the universe will forever remain a mystery to humankind, and everyday people will forever crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance."
I will continue to strive to do the best I can in my cultivation.
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