Cultivation is so serious that any attachment can affect every aspect of one's life. Through Fa study and reading the experience sharing articles by fellow practitioners, my understanding is becoming more and more clear. I realized that every thought of mine and everything I do should fit into the Fa, otherwise there will be loopholes. For example, if I go shopping, I should remember ahead of time to bring some truth-clarification material (explaining the facts about the illegal persecution of Falun Gong in China) and check if the cell phone I use to clarify the truth is fully charged. When I talk with other practitioners, I should be conscious of whether my words will hurt them or raise their attachments. While helping others, I must check to see if I am doing so because of some kind of attachment, rather than out of pure compassion. If I feel sleepy while studying the Fa, do I watch TV or play on the computer to relax? Do I realize that this is another kind of interference by the evil? If I am misunderstood while helping with a project, do I realize that it came about because of my attachments?
I feel that my mentality of showing off is due to a lack of confidence. I felt that I was not as good as others, so I needed to do something brilliant to show off. For example, I am interested in electronic products. I took some time to study them and so I know a little more than most people, and I like to show off my knowledge. Imperceptibly, my zealotry increased while other people praised me. At the same time it may have hurt others. I remember there was once an older teacher who came to borrow teaching material from me. I happily lent it to her and at the same time, I said, "I already know all of it." Showing off like this hurt her. She replied, "I also know all of it. I just want to see if there is something more." From this incident I realized that cultivating speech is not simply shutting my mouth, but not saying the wrong things when I must speak.
Most times, zealotry is caused by attachments to fame and money. What is the point of zealotry if one does not have an attachment to fame and money? Studying the Fa with electronic books has been popular among practitioners for a long time. Once, two practitioners brought their electronic books and came to share their experiences with me. We had problems and wanted to check Master's lectures, and these electronic books made it very easy. My wife liked the tool very much and wanted to have her own. So I read up about them on the Internet and was attracted to a powerful new cell phone. After going through some trouble, I bought it and installed the electronic book software so I could load Dafa books onto it. My wife liked it very much and I was also very excited. I felt that I had found a gem and showed it to everyone I met. Some practitioners also liked it and asked me to buy one for them. During this period, some other attachments of mine were also exposed. I worried that the cell phones I bought for other people would have problems, and worried that they would not like it. It's just like what Master taught, "He is afraid of losing his reputation. He would rather have this illness himself in order to keep his reputation." (Zhuan Falun) Isn't this an attachment to fame?
In summary, all the attachments I listed above had the attachment of fame and money behind them. By getting rid of the attachment to fame and money, there will be no need to show off and no reason to have zealotry. With the attachment to fame and money in play, naturally the attachment towards achievement would be generated. But this starting point for achievement is not based on the Fa. Lots of things would be done in vain. Usually when people do something with an attachment to achievement, they will have a beautiful reason, such as, "This is to provide convenience to practitioners!" Actually, deep inside it is my own curiosity, the expectation of being praised by other practitioners after the job is done, and the sly intention to compensate for the fact that the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) were not done well.
After finishing this article, I happened to read the second lecture of Zhuan Falun. Master's words hit my heart like a heavy hammer: "Showing off itself is a very strong attachment and a very bad attachment that a practitioner must relinquish." (Zhuan Falun).
Master mentioned many times how the show-off mentality, zealotry, and attachments to fame and money would affect cultivation. For example,
"The more one is attached to fame and self-interest, the lower the level one will drop to among everyday people. One's gong will also consequently decrease." (Zhuan Falun)
"Once the attachments to fame and profit were developed, this person's xinxing (character) level had actually dropped."(Zhuan Falun)
"In other matters and in the course of cultivation practice, one should be sure to not develop the attachment of zealotry--this mentality can be very easily taken advantage of by demons." (Zhuan Falun)
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