I had a dream a few days ago: My husband was driving me along a muddy path. The mud got deeper and deeper. It seemed so very dirty and disgusting that I jumped out of the car. I saw that the car was sinking deeper and deeper. The mud was as high as the car seat. Half of my husband's body was already immersed in the mud. He saw that I had gotten out and was standing beside the car, but he kept on ploughing through the mud and told me to get back in the car.
Recently my parents sponsored my husband and me so that we could buy a house. The house was pretty decent, and my husband really liked it. We started to discuss renovating it. At this time, I was moved by my selfish motives, attachment to gain, and attachment to zealotry. I thought that, since the house was bought with my parent's money, my husband's family should come up with the money for the renovation. So I raised the issue that I wanted his family to give us 20,000 yuan to help us with our renovation expenses. However, my husband gave lots of reasons why he disagreed with me. I felt taken advantage of and started to give my husband the cold shoulder.
This made me recall an incident that occurred six months ago: One afternoon I bought my lunch in the canteen. I got a biscuit and paid for it, but the vendor insisted that I had not paid. I flared up and said that it was merely two yuan and why would I cheat for such a small amount? The vendor did not pay any attention to me and insisted that I had not paid. We kept arguing back and forth. Afterwards I could not get over it. I felt that I simply had to clear up the misunderstanding with the vendor.
After calming down and thinking about it carefully from the viewpoint of cultivation, I realized that, whether it is two yuan or 20,000 yuan, it is the same issue.
Master said, "From a high-level perspective, everyday people are playing with mud while in society without realizing that it is dirty. They are playing with mud on earth." (Lecture Six in Zhuan Falun) In the human world, there is no righteous reasoning. What good is it to argue over who is right and who is wrong? There is a common saying: "When will revenge upon revenge ever end?" As a cultivator, how could I still play with mud with an everyday person!? Sometimes, because I think I am right about something, I start to argue with my family. In that instance, I was wrong. Regardless of the amount of money, regardless of what the final outcome is, as a cultivator, this would have been wrong. Arguing, itself, was already inconsistent with cultivation; furthermore, what I would have won from fighting would only be "mud!"
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