Rectifying the Selfishness that Brings Out Boredom and Melancholy

I am a 21 year-old western practitioner. I try to keep up with doing the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) diligently, as that is my responsibility. However, sometimes I might not plan to go outside to clarify the truth to people face to face, or I might plan to stay indoors for most of my spare time to study Fa, study my textbooks and practice the exercises. If I haven't filmed for NTDTV or done anything to help save sentient beings, even if I have practiced the exercises, sent forth righteous thoughts or studied the Fa; if I haven't clarified the truth or done work with NTDTV, I'll have a strong feeling of boredom, melancholy, and a very uncomfortable feeling that I had not done what I was meant to do.

I used to never know why I had those uncomfortable feelings. It was really demoralizing, and it sometimes affected my diligence. Why? Actually, these feelings arise from selfishness. But how to solve this problem? As a matter of fact, in my understanding, it's a natural feeling that arises when a practitioner, who has reached a certain level in his cultivation, faces when he is not fulfilling his responsibilities properly. We came into this world for Dafa, all of us practitioners, and each and every life here on earth. Our obtaining the Fa today is not just for our individual selves, and we shouldn't selfishly think that. When beginning cultivation, it's okay that a practitioner spends most of his time on self-cultivation. But a practitioner who has already practiced cultivation for some time should clarify the truth or do something to aid in helping to save sentient beings. He who knows he should assist in saving sentient beings, but doesn't do so, is one who is being dominated, and is submitting to the demon nature of laziness and even selfish fear.

There have been many times where I have felt lazy and unwilling to go to the truth clarification site to clarify the truth, and face those poor, poisoned Chinese tourists. But when I got there and started clarifying the truth, I unknowingly and instantly felt positive, uplifted and strong. And that positive, energetic feeling wasn't just momentary. Only after sharing with another practitioner recently did I realize that when one feels bored and worthless, one should look within and ask, "Have I done enough to help save sentient beings?"

Similarly, regarding the feeling of loneliness, Master says:
"Why do you feel lonely? If you go do things to save sentient beings and things that a Dafa disciple is supposed to do, you definitely won't feel that way. If you were studying the Fa and diligently cultivating, could you feel that way? Only when you are not diligent will you have the leisure to mull over those ordinary human feelings, right?" ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")

When we make sure to understand that we have obtained the Fa and exist not solely for ourselves, but for the countless sentient beings in our universes, will we be able to break through the laziness and fulfill the duties history has bestowed upon us.