Looking Inward, Rectifying Oneself in the Achievement of Others

Greetings Master, greetings fellow practitioners!

I’m from Stockholm. Lately, I was involved in clarifying the truth to the government and media. During the process of cooperating with fellow practitioners, I changed my notions and recognised my fundamental attachment deep down. Below is the summary of my cultivation experience during this time.

Digging out the root of jealousy
This spring, the global situation changed massively, I developed the thought to clarify the truth to the Swedish parliament using seminars focusing on Chinese issues. This way, the members of parliament could learn about the truth. My idea was supported by coordinators. We quickly found a few ordinary people experts and one practitioner to be the main speakers. I then had an appointment to have lunch together with an MP that I know. I was thinking of asking her the possibility of holding such a seminar inside the parliament.

In the morning before I met with the MP, practitioner A called me for more than an hour. At that time, I considered it interference. She wanted to discuss how to hold a truth-clarifying tea party for tour guides. I had done similar events before so was willing to help her. However, I wanted the discussion to be brief. Yet, she sought proper plans and repeatedly confirmed the details with me. I felt that although she needed me, she didn’t trust me. She didn’t accept my request to discuss it later either. Gradually, I became very annoyed. I think she sensed it as well. Towards the end, she asked me how I felt, in fact, I was very irritated and felt suffocated. However, I replied saying I was pleased and grateful to be involved in truth-clarification. Rest assured, she then put down the phone. I, on the other hand, totally lost my patience. The righteous thoughts I had for meeting with the MP disappeared completely. Anger and resentment were scurrying up and down. I couldn’t get rid of the negative energy for a long while. I was baffled – what skill she had that she could discharge all my righteous energy so quickly. Then where did such strong demonic character come from? It was absolutely impossible coming from her, so it must be my own problem. This was the second time I experienced it, where the righteous energy was turned negative abruptly. Fellow practitioner B also did it to me once before, at a big event hosted by me. I knew neither of them meant harm. Since I couldn’t figure out how it happened, I attributed it to predestined relationship - maybe I owed them in the past. Though I usually tried to just tolerate it, not arguing back, in fact, I was trying my best to avoid them.

I spent the rest of the morning sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the anger within myself. The meeting with the MP went alright, in addition to truth-clarification, she also told me about her work, her social circles in the parliament, the format and timings of other seminars, etc. Thinking of the unforgettable experience with practitioner A, I thanked the MP sincerely for her inspiration. I said, I didn’t realise you had to face so many people from all social status, you have to be very inclusive. I also need to learn to tolerate people who are different to me! She was quite happy upon hearing this. She was going to visit China at the end of the summer. Since she was very interested in the seminar, she agreed to arrange the place, but the only time available was one day in June. I was responsible for fixing the topic and inviting speakers. The only request from her for me was to find another MP from a major party to host it together with her. I thought that was not hard. Yet, the seminar was closely linked to my cultivation, since I had the wish to be more tolerant and inclusive, practitioner A immediately provided me the opportunity again.

A practitioner from another city asked practitioner A and me to work together on showcasing the film “Letter From Masanjia”. The cinema was in the city centre, we could choose either a big screen, which could accommodate 140 people, or 25 – 40 people for a smaller screen. Considering the attendance last time, practitioner A thought the smaller screen for 40 people would be more practical. Upon hearing this, I became uneasy again. I thought she had so many human notions and no righteous thoughts. Before we finished our discussion, I said: this was an opportunity given by Master for sentient beings to learn about the truth. I don’t think we should give up the bigger screen proactively. The practitioner from another city agreed and asked me and practitioner A to work out the details with the cinema. I tried to find others to work with her, but no one agreed to do so. I thought to myself: there is no escape for you! I started to search online about how people of different personalities could work together in teams, helping me to understand others. I started to realise that I don’t like to be managed or questioned, in order to maintain my own correctness and superiority. The tea party for the tour guides was due very soon, I sent practitioner A a PowerPoint Presentation I made and asked her to review and amend. This time she was very pleased with it, she replied quickly with only a few minor amendments.

Some content in this presentation was taken from the Shen Yun presentation file. When I saw she changed some content related to traditional Chinese culture, a thought appeared in my mind: she didn’t even understand the Shen Yun presentation, she pointed fingers at others at such a low level. I immediately caught my thought: I was looking down on her! In that split second, I saw my heart of unfairness, I could feel its bitter existence. Suddenly, I realised why it was so hard for me to get rid of the attachment of jealousy. It was the attachment of competitiveness caused by looking down on others, which made me feel it was unfair, in fact, it was a manifestation of jealousy. Of course, we all know the harm of jealousy, it can expand instantly. Master said in Zhuan Falun, Lecture 7: “If you can’t rid yourself of jealousy it will undermine all of the work you have done on your character.” All of a sudden, I understood the reason why my positive energy would disappear, and the negative energy got stimulated in a flash. Over time, I developed the notion of looking down on practitioner A and seeing her as an eyesore. However, she helped me to dig out the root of my jealousy! I was grateful.

The tea party for the tour guides was really successful, practitioners cooperated really well together. There were tour guides covering more than 10 different languages. After the meeting, they all understood why we gave out leaflets every single day outside the City Hall in the summer. They truly admired practitioners and said they would let their colleagues and tourists know about the truth. Practitioner A was very pleased and said we could do it again in autumn. On the way to the cinema, it surprised me to see how easy-going and cheerful she was, I felt she was at ease with me now. The meeting with the cinema went well, we agreed to show the film on the bigger screen, and she didn’t have any concerns. It was truly my own problem! Once I change my notions, her concern was no longer needed. We had a smoother working relationship and better cooperation among practitioners. Master taught us in Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference: “The structure of the human mind is all the same, and their level of intelligence is also the same, and they are not an ounce less smart than the others.” However, I was looking down on others and competing with them, I was making a judgement and conclusion, as well as raising my own self. I didn’t even realise I had these habits, which I must get rid of. The uncomfortable feeling brought up by practitioner A was indeed an opportunity given to me to expose my notions and eliminate my karma, as well as improve my character and strengthen my energy. Once I elevated my level, it would be reflected in the result of saving sentient beings. In a conflict with practitioners, who is right and who is wrong truly does not matter, we can only thank our fellow practitioners!

For about 8 or 9 weeks in the spring, my sole task was to prepare for the seminar. Some practitioners offered direct help, others gave me opportunities to purify myself through conflicts. They reminded me not to seek outwards, have resentment or have unrighteous thoughts. After one month, I contacted many MPs and took part in parliament open days. Other practitioners also helped to contact MPs they knew; however, we just couldn’t find the second host for the seminar. In addition, the MP I contacted hadn’t fixed the venue. Time flies, we needed at least one month to promote the seminar, if we couldn’t fix it by mid-May, the deal would be off. Gradually, other practitioners also started to say that it was impossible to do it before summer, let’s wait till autumn. I felt under so much pressure, I was lonely and helpless, couldn’t figure out why there was no progress and didn’t know what I did wrong. I had less confidence and patience day by day. Then, one practitioner who always helped me said to me: maybe you didn’t do anything wrong, maybe you just needed to contact a certain number of MPs and clarify the truth to them. It could be 20 or 50, if you just continue, there will naturally be some result.

Thanks to her calmness, I could see my worry. I asked myself, did I do it purely for the sentient beings? Did I have any personal interest in it? Have I done the best I could? Have I really left the result in Master’s hands? I started to calm down and continue to send emails and make phone calls. When I contacted around 30 MPs, one MP called me back. He had signed petitions to stop forced organ harvesting from Falun Gong practitioners before. When I called him, he appeared to be very trusting of the fellow practitioners who clarified the truth to him, and immediately transferred this trust to me. Because he was going to visit China in the summer as well, he was very willing to be the host. He had experience in hosting seminars before, and under his suggestion, we changed the time of the seminar and booked a room with bright light. Almost at the same time, we had another MP who was willing to be the host, he also signed the petition against organ harvesting in the past. Therefore, at the end, we had two representatives from the largest party as hosts. The deal was fixed. It was so true: when we clarify the truth and reach a certain threshold, the door will be opened. All people we contacted during the preparation for the seminar were links from fellow practitioners through truth clarification in the past. In other words, everything was arranged by Master, all I did was not give up.

The promotion afterwards was very smooth. The hosts sent out the invitation letter drafted by me through their internal parliament mailing system. The luncheon seminar reached full house with very little effort from practitioners. We had more than 40 guests, there were MPs from defence, economic and trade, finance and foreign affairs departments, and there were government officials, as well as media and other external guests. There was a small incident, the ordinary people guest speakers couldn’t make it, we only had one reporter who specialised in how the CCP penetrated into the West. Many examples she gave were good subjects for our practitioner speaker to pick up on. Most of the guests learnt about the threat and evilness of the CCP, especially their wickedness in persecuting Chinese people and Falun Gong practitioners. Many of them said: how come I only learnt such important information today? They had a sense of urgency and hoped we could provide more information and organise a further activity in the autumn. After the seminar, we sent a video to MPs who couldn’t attend the meeting so more people could benefit from it. My understanding was the content of this seminar was based on the topics of politicians’ concern and met the needs of their work. In addition, it used the parliament’s system and acceptable methods, which was very effective. Master showed me the high efficiency in clarifying the truth using recognised methods of the mainstream society. The influential class had their own methods and medium, we just needed to find them.

There was another amazing event. On the flight to New York, there were around 300 to 400 people, the person who sat next to me turned out to be practitioner B. As practitioner A helped me to completely relieve the enmity built up during past cooperation, I realised my own problem - when practitioners don’t cooperate well, the old forces exploit our loophole. Now Master has given us plenty of time to share. We totally dissolved the misunderstanding and the grey substance between us. Master took away my notions. All displeasure began to fade and was even hard to remember. On the other hand, I could see how practitioner B was very earnest, responsible, and sacrificed a lot. I started to admire practitioner B. I enlightened that, towards the end of Fa rectification, Master was helping to harmonise and cherish the predestined relationships among practitioners! This was enormous compassion for the sentient beings in the future cosmos!

Letting go of fundamental attachments
At the beginning of July, prominent politicians, media and important people from different fields all gather at the annual Politician's Week event. The Final Judgement from the China Tribunal in London on forced organ harvesting by the CCP was not reported by the Swedish media. I suggested to the Dafa Association to publish an open letter in the media, reporting on the Final Judgement and sanctions to the persecutors following The Global Magnitsky Human Rights Accountability Act. This would also help Dafa disciples’ activities during Politician's Week. I drafted the letter, practitioner C from the Dafa Association amended it and sent me the second draft be sent to the media. This open letter was signed by all members of the Dafa Association. However, in my opinion, I thought we should have added a bit more information, otherwise the media might not be interested. I expressed my opinion to practitioner C. He replied saying my amendment may not be correct (due to a language barrier) so I’d better not to change it.

I wanted to silently harmonise the whole thing. The next morning, I asked another Swedish practitioner to check the grammar for me, then sent the third draft to two media. However, they both refused to publish it stating there was no room left in their paper. At night, I told practitioner C about it, he criticised me as I was not authorised to change the open letter and wanted me to send the second version. I accepted his words, however, I didn’t know who wrote the open letter and who I should feed back to. Practitioner C is a relatively quiet person. I wasn’t sure whether it was he who didn’t want to change. I replied: what you said was correct, please send the letter to the media yourself. He replied in another email saying I wasn’t cooperating unconditionally, and I had resentment.

I couldn’t agree with him at that time, because I could see flaws in the open letter. It was like how could I serve half cooked rice to others? If I was to send it, it may impact the success of this event, so it was better for practitioner C to send it himself. I promised to help to FZN to make it a successful event. Even though I did not have resentment, I definitely had worries. I waited for one day, there was no update, and so I summoned up my courage to send an email to every signatory on the letter, explaining my thoughts in detail. Even though what I said may not be right, to express it was my responsibility, and it was their responsibility whether the letter should be changed or not. Quickly, practitioner C replied saying the national TV station agreed to publish it. I was really surprised but also very relieved. At the same time, I started to think: given this was an open letter by the Dafa Association, why did I act beyond my authority to, firstly, insist on amending the letter, secondly, write the email to raise my concern to all members? Straightaway I could see my very strong worries, particularly when the surrounding situation was unclear, I’d become very uneasy. After so many years of cultivation, I know that whether you do something out of compassion or worries, the energy carried will be totally different.

I continued to look inward, I could see that worry was a major drive in the past for me. Because of my worries, I was constantly doing things and running around. For so many years, this has become the biggest interference for me to study the Fa with a calm mind. Naturally, this brought up pressure in team working too. In my life, I’ve always had anxiety and negativity, almost feel like I’ve chosen the wrong path between life and death. The feeling of irreversible loss, unknowingly worrying, and the habit of self-blame as well as blaming others, have become so obvious in recent years. I started my cultivation at the beginning of 1999. At that time, I felt I obtained the Fa so late and was worried that I may not reach consummation. Anti-persecution has been part of my entire cultivation experience, I cultivated myself alongside truth clarification activities. However, my attachment to time and result was not eliminated completely. When I worked in the media, being a perfectionist, I was longing to make concerted efforts with fellow practitioners. I acted as if I had a mental illness and didn’t care about sleeping or eating. There was a period I had three jobs at the same time, so I couldn’t keep up with Fa study and exercising. Even though the purpose was to save sentient beings in Northern Europe, doing Fa Rectification activities using a human body was of no use at all. I was completely burnt out and almost collapsed. In the past three years, I still didn’t fully come out of the confusion. In recent cooperation with fellow practitioners, I could see the impurity deep down in me, worrying and fear are selfish elements, they are the roots of self-validation. Trapped in the puzzle of life’s gains and losses is a fundamental attachment that I haven’t gotten rid of in cultivation.

“Studying the Fa with attachments is not true cultivation. Yet during the course of cultivation a person may gradually become aware of his fundamental attachments, rid himself of them, and thus meet the standard for a cultivator. What’s a fundamental attachment, then? Human beings acquire many notions in this world and are, as a consequence, driven by these notions to pursue what they yearn for. But when a person comes to this world, it is karmic arrangements that determine his course of life and what will be gained and lost in it. How could a person’s notions determine each stage of his life? So those so-called "beautiful dreams and wishes" become pursuits that can never be realized, despite painful attachments.”
“Towards Consummation”, Essentials for Further Advancement II

My understanding of this paragraph of Fa now is: the predestined relationship determines the gains and losses of everyday people. But as a cultivator, the results of our truth clarification and other activities are determined by the levels of our cultivation. In other words, it’s determined by the Fa, not our yearnings or notions, it cannot be achieved through pursuit either.

At the beginning of Politicians’ Week, the open letter by the Dafa Association was finally published. The content was edited by the national TV station. This totally exceeded my expectations. Being edited meant the editor understood the truth, thus he/she could amend it. This was even better than us providing a perfect script. Now I totally accept practitioner C’s criticism. For example, a pot of half cooked rice could be turned into porridge, soup or other delicious dishes in the hands of a good chef. I was too slow to comprehend the meaning of unconditional cooperation. Its result can exceed human notions and logic and become miracles.

The New York conference this year again had me immersed in the huge compassion of Master. Listening to Master’s teachings in the energy field, for the first time, I took home a deep sense of security: in the vast cosmos and under the greatest mercy of Master, whatever I do is so tiny, to have the predestined relationship to obtain the Fa, I’m fully satisfied and content. In the Dharma Ending period, facing the greatest danger, the Creator came to the world, however dangerous the worldly affairs can be, they’re all under control by Master. At the beginning of last year, we shared that there are still so many people to be saved in Europe, it was like, on average, every practitioner needs to save hundreds of thousands of people. I remember I was thinking: this is huge, how could we achieve it? How many enormous events do we need to do to make it work? There was an overwhelming sense of urgency. Now I have enlightened that these were all created through Fa Rectification, it was an honour and wisdom from the Great Fa and bestowed upon us by Master. As long as we follow what Master wants and clarify the truth to the influential sentient beings through recognisable methods by the mainstream society, Master has already paved the way for us, we just need to do it and cultivate ourselves so we cooperate well. However long it will be, however many sentient beings can be saved is the greatest compassion of Master, the mighty virtue from the Fa.

The above was what I had enlightened to in cultivation about eliminating competitiveness, jealousy, worry and fear. As Dafa disciples, our cultivation corresponds to the surrounding environment. In order not to let evil take advantage of the residual toxic substances to block the sentient beings to learn the truth, let’s be diligent together, rectify ourselves, save more sentient beings when validating Dafa, and harmonise the mighty virtue of Fa Rectification.

The above is my recent understanding in cultivation, please point out any inappropriateness compassionately! Thank you Master, thank you fellow practitioners.