Tales from the Practice of Medicine: Injury (II)

Jane teaches gymnastics and she is very healthy, or at least she appears healthy on the surface. She loves sports and soccer is her favorite. Every time she visits my clinic, she either has bruises on her body, a twisted ankle, or a wounded knee from playing sports.

On my way home one day, I passed by the playground where Jane was playing soccer. I decided to stop and watch her play. She was wearing a special jersey so I recognised her immediately. She was the goalkeeper that day. She was faster than the lightening-like shots that were fired at her, and it was hard to imagine how she could move with such agility. She tackled the ball without reservation, and I was shocked at her advanced skill.

When she saw my “thumbs up,” she cheered like a child.

The next time she came to my clinic, I again complimented her on how well she played as I knew how scared I would be if a ball was flying at me that fast!

She told me, “When I play soccer, I often think that the football is my stepfather. He would not dare to touch me if I was this strong twenty years ago. At that time I was a weak child. I would have sent him to jail a long time ago if my mother had passed away earlier.” Her tone was dominated by hatred. I felt that in her heart the hatred could never be erased. I could guess what would happen if she happened to see him today.

I asked, “Where did you get your epilepsy, your mother’s side or father’s side?”

She replied, “From my mother’s side, my grandmother.” She looked heavyhearted. “When I was bullied and abused, I would wish I was sick. Afterwards I could control when I wanted to be sick, which was a form of protection. The outcome was unexpected and I gradually got weaker and weaker. Finally I had difficulty walking.

I asked her, “Did your mother know this?”

She said, “She knew everything. I have other sisters and I was selected to be the victim, so they could escape the beatings. He beat my mother too. My mom was actually a Buddhist. She believed in cause and effect and always said, “We did something bad in our previous lives, so we are to receive this retribution in this lifetime. Although your stepfather treats you badly, he provides us bread after all. Without him, we would be beggars. Therefore, we should forbear.”

She then said, “I knew in my heart that nothing is free in this human world and one has to pay for everything. For the sake of bread, I had to forbear this suffering or my family would have had to beg for food. My stepfather would also pay for his deeds. In the future, God will judge our actions. Without my saying a word, God would make the right judgment and throw him down to hell upon seeing his vicious soul.”

Besides epilepsy, Jane also suffers from severe hypochondria. She relies on medicine for the most part since she suffers from chorological insomnia and nightmares. Her emotions are unstable and she is also nervous, which make her relatives, friends, and colleagues at loose ends. She is hypersensitive and always believes others attack her through innuendo. Only a few close friends who knew of her childhood experiences can understand her strange personality. Although she tries her best to make changes to the way she thinks, she cannot give it up since the stigma is too deep to be removed. She lives in constant tension.

(To be continued)