Before I practiced Falun Gong, there were a few moments in my life when my state of mind was particularly good, and when the environment around was harmonious and peaceful, that I would feel a kind of unconditional kindness radiating towards others around me; I felt a subtle and profound connection with the universe. This kind of feeling was a little like the love I felt towards my family members, but did not have the associated feeling of an emotional tie and was without the same feeling of intensity. Although it was not as intense as love towards ones family, and although more subtle, and at that time, much weaker it somehow felt more stable and profound.
Since practising Falun Gong, this subtle passing sensation has gradually grown and solidified into a stronger and clearer feeling of radiating compassion towards the people around me. It is not something I can choose to switch on and off, and it isnt something which changes according to how other people are, it has just become part of my nature, and I could no more stop it than I could change my own nature. It is hard to explain this feeling. It really does transcend all human sentimentality,. emotion, affection, notions and concepts. As most women ask of their husbands, my wife often asks me, do you love me? I reply, yes. I know that the feeling of compassion I have towards her is not something I can express or explain, so I just say yes and express it with her concept of love. Yet to me, love now feels very weak and conditional. The great feeling of compassion I have is beyond what I previously experienced as love and extends to everyone I meet. (Of course there are many exceptions when my heart is not righteous) The compassion I feel certainly can fulfil every expectation of human love, so to my family I give it the word love because they can understand that. For others, I have little to say I cannot speak of the compassion I feel towards them directly, it is just expressed in my words and actions towards them. I work in a childrens home with very difficult and challenging teenage children who often swear at the people who work there and even threaten them with violence etc. Yet I find that in my heart, even when they are swearing at me and doing all kinds of terrible things, I often cannot help but feel the most sincere compassion towards them. (I do have times when I really am frustrated with them and do not have compassionate thoughts at all, but with the principles of Dafa to guide me, I am able to cultivate my heart in these situations so that in future I am able to do better). Even though sometimes I have some thought which is giving me reasons why I shouldnt forgive them for their actions or why I should feel cross, often I cannot help the feeling of forgiveness and compassion which comes from my heart and washes away all the frustrations, negative thoughts and conflicts.
The feeling of compassion I have is something which I can almost physically feel. It is a radiating energy which I can feel reaches out to people to touch them directly. I often feel very sad when I see people who are suffering very much, and feel sad that they cannot know that I care so much. I really genuinely have the feeling that I would give up my life in order for anyone else to be able to experience the compassion I have felt since practising Dafa.
For me, the most precious gift Dafa has given me is to awaken my own compassionate nature. For this I owe Master Li my eternal thanks and deepest respect.
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