Genuinely Looking at Myself, Taking Steady Steps in The Final Part of My Path of Cultivation (Irish Fa Conference 2003)

Greetings, Reverend Master!
Greetings, everyone!

I started practising Falun Dafa in 2000. Now I’ll talk about some experiences and lessons in cultivation and practice.

After the excitement and happiness of first getting to know the Fa, I made rapid progress in cultivation and practice; dissolving into the Fa, measuring everything according to the Fa, upgrading myself by maintaining my character. I really felt every day was a new day, making rapid strides.

I don’t know from which day, but at some point I felt my motivation of being diligent became not so sharp when I was studying the Fa. There was less feeling of seeing different layers of principles of the Fa, I tried to found out the cause, but attributed this to the interference of the old forces and demons, but sending forth righteous thought could not change the situation. I felt I was in a state of making very slow progress or even at a standstill.

The state of slow progress is not like that of having huge tribulations on the surface, and by constantly doing Dafa work, through constant successes and achievements, gradually, unknowingly I developed a feeling that I was playing an important and decisive role. Eventually I felt I was the centre of things, and everybody else was a supporting role. Then I had a sense of self-satisfaction; therefore I wasn’t so strict with myself. However, one of this was real. It was just my thoughts. I also felt I had given up everything; because of this I regarded studying Fa lilke completing a chore. As I felt that I had nearly reached my peak of cultivation, naturally and gradually my heart wasn’t so pure. When I was reading the Fa, I didn’t have the heart of assimilating to the Fa or searching for my defects; it became the action by which I proved that I was diligent. Therefore, the principles of Fa would of course not be revealed. Thus, in return this made me feel that I had reached my peak. The quality of studying Fa was getting worse and worse. While I was studying Fa, I felt sleepy and tired. Eventually, I couldn’t guarantee the quantity. I was so depressed, but somehow I just couldn’t find the root cause, gradually my conduct deviated from the Fa; and still I didn’t pay much attention. Subconsciously I felt I had done so much, no need to care about small details, and then this led to this state of being at a standstill.. Teacher says:
“Cultivate Xinxing every moment. After Consummation come boundless wonders.” ( Hong Yin) But one must improve in cultivation. In recent times, a series of xinxing problems arose, and I didn’t conduct my character well. Because I hadn’t upgraded my character, the tribulations became bigger and bigger. I indulged myself in small things, gradually they developed into bigger problems. For several times, I didn’t pass the tests. I lost my rationality, hence I indulged myself in demon nature; only then did I became gradually vigilant and start to examine myself deeply and look inward deeply. At the beginning I didn’t find the root of the problem at once, I just felt that I must upgrade, must maintain character. I started to check my behaviour when I was studying the Fa, and conducted myself by following the Fa, no matter how big or small I felt the matter to be. Because my attitude towards Fa study was purer, before long Fa gave me a hint about the root of my problem. It was a long period in the process of my cultivation and practice, and also a deviant path.

As a matter of fact, teacher has already told us in his article “What is Cultivation Practice?” (Essentials for Further Advancement), “The disciples who practice cultivation in Falun Dafa must remember that you absolutely should not take the Fa merely as ordinary human academic scholarship or as something for monks to study, rather than actually practicing cultivation. Why do I tell you to study, read, and memorize Zhuan Falun? To guide your cultivation! As to those who only do the exercises but don’t study the Fa, they are not disciples of Dafa whatsoever. Only when you are studying the Fa and cultivating your heart and mind in addition to the means of reaching Consummation—the exercises, and truly changing yourself fundamentally while improving your xinxing and elevating your level—can it be called true cultivation practice.”

I hope anyone who has the same problem as I did, please take me as an example, realise all this as soon as possible, and truly cherish the rare opportunity of Fa rectification.

Thank you.