Rebirth of a Former Pancreatic Cancer Patient

I was born in 1953. Why do I now say "I am eight years old"? Here's my story:

1. My family has a long history of cancer

I was born in Beijing. I originally lived in Picai Lane in Xidan, Beijing, but in 1958 my family moved to Shenyang, Liaoning Province. I remember once, when I was very young, that one time my father was very upset. My mother told me that my father's second eldest brother died of esophageal cancer. That was 1962. From that point on, I became more and more acquainted with this horrible disease - cancer.

Later, I heard from my mother that my maternal grandmother also died from cancer -- breast cancer. She had surgery in Shenyang. I vaguely remember going to see her in a hospital with my parents. During the Cultural Revolution, my uncle (my father's fourth eldest brother) also got esophageal cancer. I was in the army in Beijing. My uncle went to my aunt's home (my father's sister) in Beijing. I took a day off to see him. Soon after, I heard he died. Then my cousin (son of my father's eldest brother) got pancreatic cancer. My aunt told me that he died just three months after he was diagnosed. Then, in 1978, my father got laryngocarcinoma (larynx cancer). I was in Shannxi Province at that time. When I heard my father went to Beijing for treatment, I rushed to the hospital to see him. He had quit smoking, but he had smoked for dozens of years. He knew he had cancer. The doctor said that my father's cancer was diagnosed early, and he could recover after chemotherapy. But soon after I returned to Shannxi, I received a telegram saying he was in critical condition. Even though I rushed back home, he passed away a few days before I arrived there. In the 1980s, my older sister also got breast cancer. She had two major surgeries, and still lives today. My other uncle (husband of my father's fourth sister) died of stomach cancer in the 1990s. I went to his funeral. Seven people in my family already contracted cancer, and six died from it.

2. Fish That Escaped the Net?

At that time, I thought, "I might be the fish that has escaped the net" (an old Chinese saying). But I was not able to escape that fate. In the fall of 1995, I was very thin and felt very bad. My whole body was jaundiced. The ultrasound and CAT scan I had in Beijing showed that my choledochus (common bile duct) was expanded. I was diagnosed with cancer in the head of my pancreas. I was 42 years old then. I felt hopeless. I was not a very decisive person, so I went for all kinds of tests with my family.

I suffered a lot. In Beijing, to confirm my diagnosis, the doctor did a so called "Imaging with a specially-shaped tube". He inserted a special tube into my stomach through my mouth, and pushed it into my bile duct through my duodenum. I had to sign an agreement before I could have the exam because it was so risky. In the surgery room, I could no longer tolerate the acute pain and cried out. So, the doctor stopped pushing the tube in. The diagnosis was confirmed and I was prepared for the surgery. We found an experienced surgeon. I begged him to save my life when I saw him. I didn't want to die. He looked at me, took a deep breath and told me to have the surgery immediately. I knew it was no use to beg anyone.

During the surgery, after the surgeon opened my stomach, he left the operation room to discuss my situation with my husband, who was in the waiting room. My cancer had developed into final stage. If he didn't remove the tumour, I had a better chance of surviving longer than if he removed it. My husband had no choice but to listen to the surgeon. The surgeon went back to the surgery room, connected my bile duct to my duodenum to solve my digestive canal problem. The surgeon stitched my stomach together and wheeled me out of surgery. Whenever I thought of my child and my husband, I cried and cried. Later I was able to stop thinking about it, but I felt I had no future. Life was meaningless to me.

Then I began rounds of chemotherapy. A surgeon inserted a pump with an alloy tube under the artery in my leg. The tube was inserted through my bile tube all way into the tumour. The surgery lasted five hours. The surgeon was so exhausted during the surgery that he went out to smoke. He had trouble in getting the tube to the right position. I laid on the surgery table, feeling my blood flowing to my back. I was so anxious from debility that I began to sweat profusely. Eventually the surgery ended. However, my suffering had just begun. The chemotherapy caused all of my hair to fall out. My face was jaundiced looking and I weighed less than 100 pounds. When I took a bus, people on the bus shied away from me and wondered where this "ghost" came from. Every day I gritted my teeth and did a breathing exercise which was semi-effective. I took many Chinese herbs at the same time. I was muddling along. Just as what people said, "Treatment can only treat your symptoms, they can't save your life. It just a matter of time until you die." Every day that passed was a day lived.

At the end of 1995, I went home from the hospital. Everyday, I drank a large mug of herb soups. Whether it was turtle blood or fresh sea cucumber, I ingested all kinds of tonics. By the end of 1996, I couldn't tolerate the pain in my stomach any more. I felt I was in too much pain to live any more; I felt so tired. Too much suffering to live, yet, I was unwilling to die. I just wanted to go to a temple and live a quiet and peaceful life, and stay away from the noisy crowds. I was so afraid of the late period cancer pain. One of my colleague's mother had cancer. She was a Christian. In the end, when she faced death, she was very calm. I was very impressed. I also wanted to find a way to liberate my spirit, so I thought of Buddhism and Daoism. I bought a lot of books but I couldn't understand them.

3. I was reborn when I was dying

At the time when I was in the most pain and felt so hopeless, I came across Falun Gong. I watched Teacher's lecture videos, and felt what Teacher said was so right. At that time, I held no hope for my life. I was a quite open-minded person. I didn't blame anyone [for my illness]. I had cancer, and I just accepted my misfortune without complaint. So, I was able to let go of everything. I had few stray thoughts when I was reading Teacher's books. Teacher told me to be a good person, so I followed what Teacher said to be a good person, and tried my best to follow the principles of "Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance". It was not just lip service. I really had to be strict with myself. I truly let go of the thought of using qigong to cure my illness, and persisted in studying the Fa and practising the exercises. Without initially realising it, I began to feel better and better. Although I still felt pain in my stomach, my meals and sleeping became very regular, and I didn't care about the pain any more. Gradually I had less pain, and the intervals between each pain surge became longer. I was more confident. I practised the exercises every morning and evening. During the day I stayed at home, studied the Fa and transcribed Teacher's books. Gradually, I understood why human beings had to suffer hardships, why life was painful. Teacher teaches us to cultivate and follow the principles of "Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance" so that we can to return to our original, true self, to our true nature. My late period cancer was cured without any other treatment. It has been eight years since then. I feel that the past eight years have been years that I have truly lived a clearheaded life.

Whoever is sick understands his own pain, especially if he suffers a terminal illness. Your family members are dearest and closest to you, but they can't help you. Doctors treat your illness, but they are unable to save your life. When I was suffering from cancer, I could hardly describe how lonely or how hopeless I felt. The inconstancy of human relationships disappointed me. I felt life was so painful and there was no end to the suffering. I had already reached the end of my life, just like a candle extinguishing. At that very moment Teacher's Falun Dafa saved me, and saved me from the endless pain in my mind and body.

I want to tell you from the huge changes I have experienced that Falun Dafa is a righteous Way. It is a great law that improves people's mind and body. Since 1999, Jiang's regime manipulated every state apparatus to defame and slander Falun Gong, but it had no effect on me at all. Tens of millions of Falun Gong practitioners in China all have their own experiences of how they benefited from Falun Dafa, just like I did. That's the reason why Falun Gong practitioners persist in their peaceful appeal no matter how brutal the persecution has been during the past few years. "A favour the size of one drop of water shall be repaid with a spring of water." (an old Chinese saying) There is no way I could pay back teacher for saving my life, but I will never do anything against my conscience, speak lies or drop stones on someone who has already fallen into a well.

I share my story with you and hope you have a fair and clear understanding of Falun Gong. I also hope everyone who is dedicated to justice will call for help for tens of millions of Falun Gong practitioners in China who are being persecuted, and help to reduce the pressure they are experiencing. Please understand our true heart and our true intention.

I have been practising Falun Gong for eight years now. Falun Dafa saved my life. Without Falun Dafa, I might not be alive today. Although I am 50 years old, only the past eight years are the years when I have truly understood the meaning of life. So I say, I am eight years old this year!