Taking a Righteous Step Towards Godhood

Greetings respectable Master! Greetings everyone!

My name is Shen Fangru and I am a Falun Gong practitioner from Taipei. Today, the title I will share with you all is “take the step towards godhood righteously!” In Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference, Master¹ said:

“Your path is, and I think you’ve all seen this now, actually very narrow. If you deviate just a little bit you won’t measure up to the standard of a Dafa disciple. There’s only one very righteous path we can walk on, and we can’t deviate even just a little bit, because this is required by history, and required by the lives of sentient beings in the future cosmos.”

Fa rectification is not waiting for anyone. Every passing minute and second is sacred. However, I was lost in the human world, for its comfort and ease, as well as obsessing over fame, personal gain and sentimentality. I did not realise to firmly grasp the opportunity nor appreciate the current time. Although from the appearance I was studying the Fa², practising the Falun Gong exercise and doing things for Dafa, but cultivation can not cheat others or us. At the key moment, a piece of gold is a piece of gold regardless of wherever you put it; a stone is a stone even if it is coated in gold.

In Essentials for Further Advancements “Digging Out the Roots”, Master said:

“But now you are a cultivator. From what standpoint you view Dafa is fundamental, this is also what I want to point out to you. During your cultivation practice, I will use every means to expose all of your attachments and dig them out at their roots. ”

I still remembered myself before I started my cultivation in Falun Gong. I felt that I was ugly and stupid; I was like a real life ugly duckling. When it was festival time, I hid in my room and would not come out to see my family and friends. Such a dark heart changed completely after I studied Dafa. In February 2000, I started cultivation practice. Masters’ teachings acted like a clear spring which cleansed my gloomy heart. I found the worth of my life in the Fa. Rapidly, the grumble and self-abasement heart that I once had was now nowhere to be found; I felt that I was now a new person. Not long after this, Master published “Towards Consummation”, I was so worried and thinking why wouldn’t Master wait for me? I have just started cultivation practice, how can I reach consummation in such a short space of time?

Everyday, I read Master’s Fa eagerly. I read the book while I walk and while I was on the bus. Sometimes I could finish reading the entirety of Zhuan Falun³ in one day. At that time, I felt that each word inside the book struck my heart deeply. Whilst I was doing the sitting meditation, it was so painful that I couldn’t stop crying. Even though, I was not willing to put my legs down. I was thinking that Master was behind me, how can I disappoint Master?! Everyday I took a few hundred Falun Gong leaflets to college to distribute. If I could not carry that many, I would drag them in a basket. At that time, I seldom had any personal barriers or tribulations in my cultivation. Among my family, ordinary people and fellow practitioners, there were few conflicts. There were even many people who praised and admired me. Nevertheless, this kind of smoothness increased my attachment of considering oneself always in the right, caring about my image and not putting up with other opinions or been able to correctly handle hardships.

Last summer, I passed my exams to become a teacher quite easily. However, the first test in my cultivation came with that too. At that time, I was temporarily told that I was to take over the biggest group in the school. My dread and anxiety suddenly reached the highest point. Many attachments which were hiding inside my heart all revealed because of this. I realised that I did not want to face any hardships nor take any responsibility. I did not want to do many things nor to be too tired, and so on. All in all, I just wanted to cultivate in the way I used to do while I was a student, which was very comfortable as I had a lot of time for myself. However, cultivation is so serious, with a heart that seeks comfort, how can I say I am a cultivator?

In the Fa, I realised my attachments and shortcomings very quickly. Yet, I overlooked that I am not only a cultivator, I am also a Falun Dafa practitioner during the Fa Rectification period. To fulfil my duty at work is something that a cultivator him/herself should do naturally, but to validate the Fa is my most important mission. However, during a heavy administration work load, I gradually forgot about my vow, about Master’s painstaking arrangement and salvation towards me. The time which I spent to study the Fa and practice the exercise became less and less. I even turned to be apathetic and careless to save sentient beings.

On the threshold of this year, I was indulged in online shopping. At the start, I just bought some cheap clothes; later on, I found out that I could also buy health maintenance products as well. When I looked at those extravagantly colourful descriptions from the advertising agent, my attachment to beauty was induced. At the beginning, I told myself that to just buy one was OK! But, as soon as my thoughts were away from Fa, the evil fixed my mind immediately. Therefore, I bought one after another; it not only cost me a lot of money, but it also took up a lot of time every night to apply it.

I clearly knew my state was not right but I didn’t dare to face myself in an honest way. I did not even manage to visit the Falun Gong website as I felt ashamed and unqualified. At that moment, I felt there was two of me; one was indulged in the easiness of the human world, saying “It is all right, you have done so many things for Dafa before, which is enough! Even just to become a human being in the “Fa rectify the human world period” is still not bad!” Another part of me was shouting loudly from the depths of my heart:” No, you can not! Come back quickly! Have you forgotten your own vow? Have you forgotten what you promised Master?” I was vacillating between these two sides, one hand was seizing my human side, the other hand was seizing my Godly side and I would not let go of either of them. I felt that I was being torn apart. The evil thoughts and ideas, which were eyeing covetously, took direct advantage of my loopholes. It made me fall down step by step. This situation lasted until June.

Early in June, my face began to develop a rash. At first, it was just a few pimples which I did not pay much attention to. However, there were then four, five…seven and eight until an unmanageable situation came about. I was simply flustered. Whenever my colleagues at college saw me, the first thing they said to me was “how come you have got so many pimples? Have you been to the doctors?” Although, I said bitterly that it is not necessary and it would be better soon, my heart was actually bleeding! I was aware of what this truly was telling me; that I must change my state. So, I started to try to do well. At this moment, it looked like I was forging myself, e.g. I used anytime to study the Fa, do the exercise, clarify the truth and send forth righteous thoughts. Nonetheless, my heart was so nervous, every minute and second of my thoughts was spent thinking about my face.

To tell the honest truth, I was taking advantage of Dafa; I was doing everything simply for my face. I had such an intention; Master will take care of me. I wasn’t walking a righteous path or truly following my heart. Naturally, with such a big attachment, my face was getting even worse. At that point, my face was swollen; it was a hard lump when you touched it.

At the end of June, when it was time to organise classes during the summer, on one side I have to arrange classes while bearing pressures from many teachers; on the other hand, I knew that my face was getting worse and worse. There were also colleagues who kept asking me about my face. At that time, I felt that I could not endure anymore. The anxiety and pressure in my heart made me not dare to join the end of term school meeting and dine together. I was hiding in the print room and nearly started crying. The more I thought about it, the more my heart was seething with anxiousness and the more attachments I developed. I hastened to ring some fellow practitioners I knew to exchange ideas. One practitioner told me: “stop thinking about yourself, stop thinking about yourself, and just put your heart to how to save sentient beings!”

However, how can I not think about myself? Master said: “If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist.” (Essentials for Further Advancement II, Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)) I read this paragraph again and again but still felt that it was so hard to really act in this way! Afterward, I remembered there was one article which Master commented on called “Golden Buddha”. The butcher in this article had never ever cultivated, not even for one day, but he has no reservation or doubts towards the Buddha, he has the sincere heart to respect and long for the Buddha. Whether his heart will be thrown into the oil pot was just a modality. At the time when he took out his own heart, his state was there. On the contrary, look at myself whose heart was full of fear, am I not I like those two people who became two pieces of fried dough?

I asked myself: why do I feel that it is so hard? Is it not due to my doubts towards Master’s Fa? Is it not because I still don’t fully believe in Master and Dafa? Facing the evil persecution, fellow practitioners in mainland China validate the Fa at the risk of their lives. If I was put into that kind of situation, could I do it? For all those sentient beings, can I take out my heart without any hesitation at all? For the Fa rectification, can I give up everything? Master saved us from hell, Master has used all to save us, but as a Falun Gong practitioner during this period of time can I not endure this little hardship?

My heart was suddenly opened; it was no longer nervous nor uneasy. I Looked at Master’s picture and I told Master that I must do well! In late July, when I thought that my psychology was steady, one intern teacher came back to school and saw me, she said very loudly: “It is the summer holiday now, there is no more pressure, how come you still have so many pimples on your face?” On the surface I was smiling, but my heart was sinking. Then I was so grieved. What I grieved was not because of what other people were saying about me, it was because I knew that my mind wasn’t stable, I knew that it wasn’t pure enough. How come an ordinary person’s simple sentence can move me so much?

I sat down and studied the Fa. When I opened “Teaching the Fa at 2004 Chicago Fa Conference”, Master said:

“Exactly because you people have those attachments, there exist factors that hit on your attachments; and exactly because those attachments of yours are stirred up, you get irritated; when all of you have those attachments, the situation where everyone is irritated by the person who hit on their attachments comes about. If you can all keep a calm and steady state of mind while being assaulted by strong words, and you’re not at all affected, then see if those factors still exist.”

So that is it, the most essential attachment of mine hadn’t been removed at all! Master said in Teaching the Fa at Western Fa Conference:

I looked inward, what am I firmly keeping and still attached to within the depth of my soul? I only want to hear fine words; I am fond of hearing other peoples praise and compliments towards me. Whenever others criticise me, my heart will be stirred and I will get angry. Is not this because the attachment of obsessing over fame, personal gain and sentimentality has not been put down? On one side, I am doing things to save sentient beings. On the other hand, I am worrying about how my friends and fellow practitioners look at me. Am I maintaining my human side or the Fa?! Cultivation is serious; the enhancement of every single level needs to reach the standard in a down-to-earth way. Master said in “Teaching the Fa at 2004 Chicago Fa Conference”: “You’re a Dafa disciple, so what should you seek and what should you cultivate? Have you even forgotten these most basic, simplest things?”

I realised the significance of my life through cultivation. I came to fulfil my mission in Fa Rectification. I came for the Fa; I was born because of the Fa. In the Fa rectification, Master gave me ever lasting life, an opportunity which can not be met through the ages since the creation of the cosmos, to guard the Fa. Master is looking at me, all other Gods admire me, and all sentient beings are waiting for me, how can I be infatuated by the gain, loss, bitterness and happiness between ordinary people? “Obsessing over fame, personal gain and sentimentality” are all like floating smoke and passing clouds. To detach my heart from humanness, to raise myself to a Buddha’s realm and to exist within the Fa are more meaningful!

Of course, during this process, I am still cultivating and I won’t do well at all times. Sometimes I feel that I can overlook it, I would not be stirred by it, and yet, I am still painfully attached to image. I was pressed down by so much vanity and dirty selfish thoughts that I could not breathe. The feeling was so painful and so bad. Nevertheless, no matter how hard it is, I know I need to face myself bravely.

During non-stop study of the Fa and communication with fellow practitioners, I sensed my cultivation was similar to peeling an onion, layer by layer, digging out the deeply hidden attachments. I know I have to clean myself of those human notions which I have acquired throughout my life. Although at present I can not let go of these attachments completely, I will get over this firmly. I will try my best to cultivate away all those selfish hearts, strip away my heavy and thick shell of selfishness so as to reach the pureness and sanctity we should have. Don’t be ungrateful to our historic mission. Make great efforts in doing the three things⁴ Master has asked us to do, to take the step towards godhood righteously!

Thank you Master!

Thank you all!

Terms:

1. Master – Respectfully referring to the founder of Falun Gong, Mr Li Hongzhi.
2. Fa – Universal principle, the teachings of Falun Gong
3. Zhuan Falun - A book containing the principle teachings of Falun Gong.
4. The three things that Master Li has asked Dafa practitioners to do are to study the Fa, to send forth righteous thoughts and to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and the persecution to the world's people.