My mother-in-law's health miraculously recovered after she started to practise Falun Gong. In addition, she started to conduct herself as a genuine practitioner according to Falun Gong's teaching and became incredibly kind. This made me decide to find out more about Falun Gong out of curiosity.
I found a place where people get together to practise the Falun Gong exercises in 1999 and started my cultivation practice. Falun Gong enabled me to become healthy, genuinely happy, and less selfish. More importantly, I feel that I now know the meaning of my life. When I first started, I would meet with about five other practitioners and study the Falun Gong books together. Despite its humble size, the study group was a precious environment where each of us had opportunities to enhance our xinxing (mind nature or moral values) and to eliminate our secular notions. We treated the Fa (law or principles, the teachings in Falun Gong<) as Teacher and compared what we had studied and cultivated. When we tripped over an obstacle on the path of cultivation, we picked ourselves up and kept walking the path. Under the tutelage of Teacher's Fa, we strove forward vigorously in our cultivation practice during our personal cultivation period.
When the former President of China, Jiang Zemin started to openly persecute Falun Gong and its practitioners on the 20th of July, 1999, our study group was torn apart. At the beginning of the persecution, when all the truth about Falun Gong seemed to have been turned upside down, I once had some doubt about Teacher and his Fa. I asked myself, "Is the Fa real? Is Teacher deceiving us?" But when I opened up Zhuan Falun (Falun Gong's main study text) and seriously contemplated every sentence that Teacher had written in the book, my heart became peaceful. "Of course this is true!" I thought. I experienced what Teacher taught us in the book Essentials for Further Advancement II:
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference")
Besides, my fellow practitioners and I kept encouraging each other and helped reinforce each other's faith in Teacher and the Fa. Soon I rectified my wavering heart and rebuilt my faith in the Fa. I think that's when I truly chose to follow Teacher and decided to help Teacher rectify the Fa.
During the years that followed, I suffered varying degrees of persecution, just like hundreds of thousands of other Falun Gong practitioners in China. My school repeatedly made me stop teaching, withheld my bonuses, stopped increasing my salary, stopped my performance evaluations, refused to give me any employee housing assistance, etc. The lowest form of persecution my school engaged in was to persecute my colleagues because of their association with me. Many of my colleagues were denied assistance and bonuses because I refused to renounce my belief in Falun Gong. As a result, many of them began to blame and hold a grudge against Falun Gong. This is how my school pushed my colleagues into positioning themselves against Falun Gong.
Back then, I at one time feared the persecution and compromised with my school. But as soon as I started to study the Fa and exchange cultivation notes and experiences with fellow practitioners, I was able to quickly enhance my xinxing and reinforce my righteous thoughts. In those days, I kept upgrading my xinxing while the one body of Falun Gong practitioners upgraded their xinxing together as the force of Fa-rectification progressed.
In the winter of 2000 I carried my son, who was less than a year old at the time, while distributing materials containing important facts about Falun Gong in the streets. Some people who had not accepted the truth about Falun Gong reported me to the police. The local police abducted me and took me to a nearby precinct. There I overcame my fear and focused on one thought, "I shall not cooperate with these henchmen. I shall walk out of here free at once." All the police officers suddenly became busy with cleaning the premises and went into another room. I took the opportunity and walked out of the police station with my son in my arms.
Right before the 2001 New Year, I took my son with me on a journey to Beijing to appeal on behalf of Falun Gong. At Tiananmen Square, I almost broke into tears while shouting out loud, "Falun Dafa is good!" The police abducted me and took me to the Zhoukou Police Station. Once I was incarcerated, many of my human thoughts emerged, such as hoping for good luck and the attachment to fear. My mind was very clear at the time. Each time I discovered a human thought, I denied and eliminated it right away. I also discovered that the biggest problem I faced was that I had neglected to memorise the Fa. One of the other practitioners in the same cell kept reciting Lunyu (the foreword to Zhuan Falun) and Hongyin. The only Fa I remembered was a very short poem in Hongyin titled "Non-Existence," so I recited it repeatedly.
To die with no regrets;
All excessive thoughts extinguished,
Cultivating Buddhahood is not difficult."
I made up my mind that as soon as I walked out of there, I would start memorising the Fa. After being incarcerated for two days and one night, another determined practitioner and I were transferred to Fangshan Detention Centre. Once in the detention centre, the police officer escorting us suddenly hurried into a room, leaving the two of us standing alone in an empty corridor. We immediately realised that it was Teacher helping us to escape, so we walked out of the heavily-guarded detention centre in a composed manner and resumed our Fa-rectification work.
On these two trips, I discovered that I still had many secular thoughts and had neglected to handle everything with righteous thoughts. Nevertheless, Teacher still protected me and rescued me from danger. Thank you Teacher for your infinite grace! Thank you for your compassionate salvation.
As the force of Fa-rectification and practitioners' righteous thoughts continued to diminish the evil elements in other dimensions, the persecution in our area was reduced and our cultivation environment improved. On the other hand, my attachment to comfort gradually surfaced along with many other attachments. For a very long time, I had difficulty concentrating when I studied the Fa, practised the exercises or sent forth righteous thoughts. I was extremely vulnerable to interferences and had difficulty regarding everything with righteous thoughts. Each time Teacher published a new article, I would strive forward vigorously in cultivation for two days and then start to slack off again. Under those circumstances, the evil elements from other dimensions became rampant, and in the human dimension I started to experience an increasing number of conflicts with non-practitioners and within my family.
At first, I would try to tolerate them, but I did so with the mentality of a non-practitioner. That means I was actually seething in my heart, but I did not say anything or talk back. Later on when the severity of the conflicts increased, I found it extremely difficult to even tolerate them at a non-practitioner's level. While I was tormented by these conflicts, I often heard a voice shrieking viciously, "I cannot take it any more! I don't want to take it any more!" The more miserable I felt for myself, the more thought inference I experienced to discourage me from studying the Fa. On the worst days, I would even question the Fa.
My mother-in-law is also a Falun Gong practitioner, and I exchanged cultivation experiences with her. She sat peacefully on the bed, sharing her understanding of the Fa in a solemn and peaceful manner. I could see that she truly has a steadfast belief in the Fa. The dignity and compassion of the Fa that manifested in her had a tremendous impact on me. After I returned home, I really tried to calm down and study the Fa with a tranquil mind. I slowed down my pace and made sure that I studied each word. When I studied the Fa with a tranquil mind, the Fa really did reveal its profound meanings to me. Once again, I felt the profoundness and compassion of Falun Dafa.
I remember the following passage from " Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference. "
"Question: Compassion arises after emotion is removed. So how is mighty virtue cultivated?"Teacher: You walk this path of Fa-rectification well, you manage to overcome your limitations in cultivation, you let go of your attachments, you save all beings with righteous thoughts in your mind, and you handle everything you face with righteous thoughts--that is mighty virtue. (Applause) "
Teacher's words truly spoke to me. Although I have been cultivating for a long time, I had the thought that I had no mighty virtue. I repeatedly told myself, "Actually, I still have a fundamental doubt about Falun Dafa, except it has been hidden deeply in my mind. If I don't eliminate this thought karma, I will not be able to follow Teacher to the completion of my cultivation practice." I may appear to be a practitioner, but I am not even worthy of the title of a Falun Gong practitioner in the Fa-rectification period because of some of my conduct, not to mention building my mighty virtue. How do I eliminate the thought karma that doubts the Fa? Teacher taught us how to do this a long time ago. We must study the Fa more because the Fa will reinforce our righteous thoughts. Then we can regard everything with righteous thoughts. It did not register in my head until now that the Fa is the foundation of righteous thoughts and building mighty virtue.
In retrospect, looking at the path I have walked these past years, I feel immensely thankful for Teacher's compassionate salvation. I shall do the Three Things (studying the Fa, sending righteous thoughts and clarifying the truth about Falun Gong) in return for Teacher's compassionate salvation.
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