Collapse of Thousand-Mile Dyke Results from Just One Anthill

I have been practising Falun Dafa for several years now, but I still have many human notions. Some attachments were quite severe before I started cultivation. These notions were reduced but were not completely removed during cultivation. They are even more severe now at the last stage of Fa-rectification cultivation. I was reluctant to think or talk about them, and I only felt that I shouldn't behave so poorly. After reading Master's new article "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be," I was touched by Master's great benevolence--He is watching over us and taking care of us all the time. I have been lax and I feel unworthy of Master's benevolent salvation. I mustered the courage, however, to write this article, in the hope to remind other practitioners not to repeat my mistakes.

For a long time, I did not discard lust. It was weaker in the years when I was diligent, but it was not completely removed. Recently, I slackened and was not as diligent as before, and this attachment has surged upward. The dark minions and rotten demons in other dimensions saw this attachment, and they seized and magnified it in order to achieve their goal.

Sometimes I visit some ordinary people's websites due to Falun Dafa work. When my attachment is strong, I would be attracted to some words and I would want to visit unhealthy websites. At first, I knew that I was a Falun Dafa practitioner and shouldn't look at those things, so I held back.

During Fa¹ study that day, I came across this sentence, "Cultivation is just awfully gruelling, it's incredibly serious, and if you get just a bit careless you might fall and be destroyed in a day. So your thoughts really have to be proper." ("Your Thoughts Have to be Proper" from The Sixth Talk of Zhuan Falun) I recited this sentence repeatedly and felt that my righteous thoughts were strengthened.

The next day, the attachment surfaced again. I said to myself, "It's bad, and I shouldn't be reading or looking at those things." I didn't. A while later, the attachment again came up and I wanted to click on the web link. I felt my mind was split in two, one said, "Don't read it, it's a bad website," and the other one said, "It's not a big deal, just check it out." The two thoughts fought each other and I felt as if I had lost the ability to control my hand, and I then clicked on the link despite myself. Upon taking one look, all the degenerate materials on that website flooded me, and I don't even know how much pollutant entered my mind. All of my efforts were ruined by a moment's weakness.

Afterwards, I pounded my head and chest with my fists, and I hated myself because I did not have strong righteous thoughts and willpower. Going along with attachments, I committed a wicked deed and let down Master's benevolent salvation and I also let myself down. Why did I do it although I clearly knew it was wrong? Why couldn't I follow Falun Dafa's requirements? Why did I go along with the attachment?

Looking back on my mentality, I felt I was not truly respectful of Master and Falun Dafa at the time. Although on the surface, it appears that I only made a minor mistake, but that's judging it with the degenerate notion of ordinary people. As cultivators, we have to look at things with Falun Dafa. "For a cultivator, it's just so shameful. It's shameful even for an ordinary person, but you are a cultivator, so how could you even raise this for open discussion? It is just so shameful. Did you know that in old-time cultivation, as soon as a cultivator broke the rule pertaining to this, he wouldn't be able to cultivate again for the rest of his life. That's how serious it is." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")

Two days later, Master published the article "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be." I felt Master was so benevolent, and that He is watching over and helping His disciples all the time, and He is doing everything possible to help disciples reach Consummation. While I, a disciple, acted just as Master described in the article, "It can even be to the point that you know full well it's a test but still can't let go of your attachments." ("The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be") Don't I know full well that every sentence Master speaks is aimed to help disciples? Why was I moved by attachments instead of following Master's words? "For cultivators travelling a divine path, is it really that hard to get rid of those attachments that arise from human thinking and to change those notions? If a cultivator doesn't want to get rid of even those things, well, how is he to show that he's a cultivator?" ("The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be")

From now on, I am determined to guide my every act with Master's words, truly respect Master and Falun Dafa, remain unmoved by attachments, eliminate notions and attachments with righteous thoughts, and therefore become an authentic Falun Dafa practitioner.

Note:

1. Fa: Law and principles; the teachings of Falun Dafa.