Emerging from a Dangerous Cultivation State

One day as I was peacefully reading the experience sharing section in Minghui Weekly, the phrase, "the attachment of ridding oneself of attachments," in an article made me wonder. What kind of attachment is this? Is there such an attachment? Can a cultivator be wrong in getting rid of attachments? How can there be such a thing? I could not find the answer after thinking about it for a long time.

During study of the Falun Gong teachings or the Fa, in the afternoon, a door in my mind seemed to suddenly open. What is "the attachment of ridding oneself of attachments"? So this is it! This is exactly the thing that I have not been able to break through for a long time.

In the Fa-rectification cultivation since the persecution began on July 20, 1999, I have always steadfastly believed in Falun Dafa and was not confused by the lies and slander, in spite of the evil's strong interference. My level was elevated through solid cultivation, and my cultivation environment has improved with the elevation of my character. Quite often I felt worried but helpless for fellow practitioners when I found that they did not pay that much attention to their actual cultivation.

I felt that every attachment is a difficult obstacle. With the slightest weakening of one's will, one would not be able to overcome the obstacles that come one after another. As soon as one slacks off in their righteous thoughts, one would "honestly" regard the attachment as being part of oneself. Why is it so difficult? Although I have thought about it, I only did it once, quickly. I did not dare to think hard. I felt that I have always been solidly cultivating myself. Why is it still so difficult? We have been doing Fa-rectification cultivation for several years and it is truly still difficult. While feeling the difficulty of personal cultivation, I could not fathom the pain in the cultivation of those fellow practitioners whom I saw that could not recognise the true nature of their attachments. I also could not imagine how steadfast their beliefs in Falun Dafa were. It would be so difficult to help them elevate their understandings.

Therefore, in my subsequent cultivation, I looked beyond conflicts among ordinary people. Everything that Teacher arranged is to expose our attachments. Teacher utilises ordinary people's form to expose my attachments and help me get rid of them. So all those who created the conflicts are to help me find my attachments and elevate and cultivate myself. I thought, are they not all paving the road for me for my cultivation and consummation? I truly was grateful to them. I indeed no longer lamented my tribulations and felt no regret. I felt that cultivation was so easy. I felt the happiness of looking inward for mistakes and the joy of being a cultivator. It is true that conflicts do not count if they do not touch your heart, but I was always able to quickly come to a better understanding. I felt the joy and happiness of being a practitioner. Isn't this the purpose of life? To be an ordinary person is not the purpose. To get back to your original self is the true meaning of life.

Gradually, it was as though a mechanism of looking inward was formed in me. I felt that no pressure is great enough to sway my steadfast mind of cultivation. Although in the past few years the evil was very prominent and the path for us was rather narrow, I steadfastly walked through huge tribulations thanks to my solid and serious cultivation. Whether I might have deviated or the thought of being blind to the overall direction never occurred to me. How could I have made such an error? I don't even need to think about it. I felt that the path that I have walked through in the past few years has been quite righteous.

But today, my mind is truly clear. While I have always felt that I have done well in the past few years, actually I had fallen into a trap that I could not get out of. Indeed, I have deviated in the past few years of my cultivation. I was basing myself on a wrong foundation. How could I not deviate when starting from a wrong foundation? The biggest manifestation of my falling into the trap was that I did not think of others when I was faced with problems and issues. The first thing I thought of when I encountered something was to see what attachment it was for me to get rid of. I was only concerned about whether I got rid of my attachment. I did not truly care or think about others.

Over these few years, I placed the foundation of my cultivation on how to eliminate my own attachments, rather than on how to help other people and how to think of others. All I concerned myself with was my own cultivation and improvement, but not how other people felt and how sentient beings could be saved. What is it to put down one's preoccupation with self? It is to forget about oneself. But my mind was only concerned with how to elevate myself. To continue cultivating this way, I would never generate the benevolence that a cultivator possesses. A cultivator ought to manifest himself as a good person wherever he goes. Whether a person is a good person or not is not judged by that person himself. Rather, it is done according to the standards set by the Fa.

In Fa-rectification cultivation, I was not able to step out of my trap. I felt that I was very rational, and felt that other people had the attachment of trying to achieve things. In my mind, it was all about how to elevate my character, how to correct my corrupted notions, and how to purify my own heart. I did not put the Fa in the first place, nor did I care about the countless sentient beings in jeopardy in the first place. As a truly good person, one who is better than a good person, what shall we be doing when we see other people in this most perilous situation? What shall we be doing when all the lives in the cosmos, who were on the verge of being destroyed, are eagerly awaiting our saving them? What shall we be doing when the Dafa (Great Law) that created the boundless cosmos and our lives was being harmed? What shall we be doing when the old forces are destroying so many of Teacher's disciples and good people in the world? Aren't we supposed to be thinking of others? Have we thought about the situation of the sentient beings? In ordinary people's society, what shall we be thinking when we see a person drowning in a river? We should be thinking only of how to save the person.

Now, I understand why I felt cultivation was so difficult. I have always been trapped in the extreme situation of trying to get rid of attachments, and therefore let the old forces get me into a loophole. Don't you want to get rid of your attachments? The old forces would let you get rid of them. They will arrange many tests for you to take and pass so that you feel good. The more you like it, the more tightly they have control over you. On the one hand, they keep arranging tests for you to get rid of your attachments. They do not give you any break so that you are too tired to validate Dafa. On the other hand, they strengthen your attachments, with an attempt to destroy your will and corrupt your righteous thoughts. Why are the evil forces able to interfere with you? It is because they see it: You are not putting down your attachment to self. All you think of is yourself. What you are cultivating is not benevolence. They have found the best excuse to interfere with and persecute you. Why do I always feel that I have been given one test after another? It turned out that the old forces had me in their control because of my loopholes. I have been dealing with tests that the evil has arranged for me. That is why it has been so difficult.

Now, I recognised that Fa-rectification period cultivation is not complicated at all. It is to save sentient beings while cultivating oneself. Our foundation should be to save people, rather than on getting rid of attachments for its own sake. We do have attachments. As a cultivator, we need to get rid of them. But this cannot be our only goal. Our main goal is to save people, to save sentient beings.

When my understanding is improved, my heart becomes much lighter. All I have in mind is to hurry up and assimilate myself with Falun Dafa and save sentient beings. All I think about is what I can do for my fellow practitioners and other people.