Eliminating Anxiety and Apprehension to Memorise Zhuan Falun

I am a farm woman with very little formal education. Awakened by Teacher's hint and motivated by fellow practitioners memorising the Falun Gong teachings -Fa, I also started to memorise the Fa, something I had earlier thought unthinkable. While memorising the Fa, my body and mind were further purified, and my many attachments of fear, showing off, zealotry, jealousy, selfishness, and sentimentality were all thoroughly scrutinised. My most fundamental attachments of lack of time and apprehension were rooted out. I would like to share bits and pieces of my limited understanding on memorising the Fa.

When I shared my experience with other practitioners before, I mentioned that I easily got drowsy and my brain went numb while studying the Fa. When they asked me to memorise the Fa, my response was that I dare not do that because I was afraid that I would fail in my attempt, so I was hindered by my attachments of anxiety and apprehension.

One evening while reading Zhuan Falun, my granddaughter suddenly asked me, "Grandma, did you memorise the whole book?" I realised right away that Teacher was hinting for me to memorise the Fa. In January 2006, I was motivated and awakened by the many experience sharing articles by fellow practitioners on memorising the Fa. Only then did I make up my mind to memorise Zhuan Falun.

I was fortunate to obtain the Fa in December of 1997, but I felt that I wouldn't have enough time to cultivate. I even asked other practitioners whether I could still reach consummation before the Fa Rectification ends since I obtained the Fa so late. I was afraid that I could be left behind. This fundamental attachment of apprehension had never been thoroughly uprooted and eradicated.

As soon as I made up my mind to memorise the Fa, my attachment again reared its ugly head. Such a thick book, how long would it take me to memorise it all? What would happen if I could not memorise it all even once before it all ends? This attachment of fear of lack of time immediately had a negative effect on my body. A big lump the size of an egg grew near my right temple above my right ear. My face was also swollen to the point I could hardly open my eye on that side. As it turned out, I suffered the same symptom when I was released from a labour camp in the spring of 2003.

Even though I suffered the same symptom, I understood it was not an ailment. I continued to seek within while memorising the Fa. As soon as I identified this fundamental attachment and dug it out, it was eradicated like a malignant tumour. The big lump disappeared in three days without any medical treatment. This time it was bigger than last time, yet it recovered even faster. Some people did not believe it, and some felt it was inconceivable. I told them that when people get sick they must be treated with medicine and injections, but we practitioners must treat our abnormal physical symptoms with our hearts, find out where we are lacking and not conforming with the Fa. As soon as we find it Teacher will correct the anomalies. This incident demonstrated the mighty power of the Fa and Teacher's immense compassion.

I normally memorised the Fa in the evening. Each evening I memorised three to four paragraphs, and there are 599 paragraphs. Each evening I sent forth righteous thoughts on the hour from 6:00 p.m. To 9:00 p.m., and did one hour of exercise. Very often I would persist to send forth righteous thoughts at 12 midnight before going to bed. I would wake up at around 4:00 a.m. to do the fifth exercise for one hour. Sometimes the demon of drowsiness would interfere and I could hardly keep my eyes open. But I kept ignoring it and I would be clear headed again after memorising the Fa.

One day during the busy spring season of farming in the field, I came home quite late and there was not enough time to memorise the Fa as usual. I thought I would just go to bed and then wake up at 3:00 a.m. to continue memorising the Fa. I almost overslept past 3:00 a.m. in the morning, but I heard a particularly beautiful bell ring that woke me up. I looked at my watch, and it was a few minutes before 3:00 a.m., and I still felt sleepy. But there was no reason not to get up and memorise the Fa with such beautiful bell rings. I felt very clear in my head after getting up and knew it was Teacher urging me to get up to memorise the Fa. I was very moved in my heart and felt that Teacher was right next to me at all times.

Each Sunday my granddaughter asked me where I was in memorising the Fa. For several weeks in a row she said I was too slow. I felt so anxious after hearing her say this that I used some of the exercise time to memorise the Fa. After I completely memorised Zhuan Falun for the first time I realised my attachment of trying to accomplish things in a hurry, and how Teacher utilised this undertaking to rid the attachment. Through my memorising the Fa, I let go and got rid of many of these fundamental attachments. My body changed for the better. I looked back and noticed that nothing was delayed. Everything was accomplished with enough time. I actually finished memorising Zhuan Falun three months ahead of my original schedule.

"To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." (Zhuan Falun)

My body was further purified with my memorising the Fa. I felt clear and free of intent. Everything changed for the better, and I could feel Teacher's compassion more accurately. There were some sentences that I had read more than a hundred times, yet I felt as though I just read it for the very first time and it was so refreshing. I now was able to understand statements that I never understood before with much deeper and more profound understandings on the Fa theory.

The process of memorising the Fa strengthened my righteous thoughts, wisdom and intelligence, eradicated the evil factors, bad factors and substances with increased power, eliminated many of my attachments, and increased my capacity for tolerance and compassion. It is a process of harmonising the Fa from microscopic to the macroscopic levels. If you have reservations about memorising the Fa, I recommend that you eliminate the attachments of apprehension and anxiety. Once you are able to do this - memorise Zhuan Falun - you will experience wonders and splendour beyond description.

There was much enlightenment during my memorising the Fa, and I have only written some of my experiences to share with fellow practitioners. Please kindly point out any part that is not appropriate.