Knowing the Truth Brings True Happiness

I have been feeling guilty for more than a year while my heart has been filled with boundless beauty and hope. The more I think about this, the harder it is to keep my tears from falling.

In 1999, the large-scale, nationwide defamation of Falun Gong informed me of the practice. When I saw the young girl who had been burned in the staged self-immolation (an event staged by the Chinese Communist Party to trick the nation into believing the Falun Gong promoted suicide and self-harm so as to provide reason for the ruthless persecution) pass away from her injuries, my hatred for Falun Gong increased. I think many others also held a negative view towards the practice and its practitioners just as I used to. As the persecution became more severe, people that used to be very interested in Falun Gong were afraid to, or were unwilling to, and, in the end, were scared to talk about Falun Gong.

I often surfed the Internet for news and occasionally received email from people I knew from the Internet. There was a time when the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party grabbed my attention. My thought about it at that time was: "If there were no Communist Party, how could we have such a good life? How could the 1.3 billion people in our country survive?" And there was more information about the persecution of Falun Gong. I didn't believe it was true, and I stopped reading all the email or threads on the Internet in order to protect myself from "losing my mind and committing self-immolation," to have a better life, and to help "stabilise" society. I thought I was being a well-behaved citizen who was self-disciplined, and I would not touch anything that the Party disapproved of.

As time went by, day after day, both happiness and trouble existed in my life. One night, I couldn't sleep. I got up, adjusted the cover on my son who was sleeping, and went on the Internet. But it was boring, so I lit up a cigarette and started thinking about the happiness, good fortune, and misfortune I had encountered during my 30 years. I was happy about the things I had achieved, but in my heart I felt that what I had today was not what I really wanted. One doubt after another arose within me and became a heavy burden. I felt I couldn't breathe.

Just then, a stranger sent me a thread about withdrawing from the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organisations. Out of curiosity, I started to read it. I raised some questions to the sender and the sender answered them, from which I learned that the sender was a Falun Gong practitioner.

I met the person again on the Internet a few days later and asked him more questions. Then he asked if we could use a "chat" utility because he was not good at typing. I thought, "That is like being illiterate in the 21st Century in ordinary people's eyes, so it's no wonder he practices Falun Gong. I should help him," I also thought that I could stop him from committing self immolation. Surprisingly, during the whole conversation, the impression I had of him was his selflessness and kindness as well as his consideration of others. How could such a good person become a Falun Gong practitioner? Was he faking his consideration of others? However, his peaceful and confident kindness was embodied in every word he said. This was so different from what I had seen and heard in the media's propaganda.

We had more conversations on the Internet. Sometimes I challenged him on purpose, but he treated me with endless patience. Our conversations made me feel very relaxed and peaceful. Later, he gave me a program to watch, from which I learned a lot.

I learned a lot in a few months. The stranger on the Internet didn't lie to me and he had no reason to lie to me. I had no choice but to believe the facts that I had learned. I appreciated and seized the opportunity to talk to the stranger on the Internet. I also obtained the electronic version of Zhuan Falun from him, not that I wanted to learn Falun Gong, but to learn more about what it was, because it is irresponsible to Falun Gong, to oneself, and to society to talk about things one knows nothing about.

When I read through Zhuan Falun, I couldn't help but hold the sensation that I had found a treasure, something that I had always been searching for but also something that I never knew existed. The more I read, the more peaceful my heart was. I saw the future and hope, and also the truth and the ultimate love among people. It is a great harmony in between the Law and ideology, between the Law and people, and between the Law and nature. Is this not what I had been seeking? My burden was lifted, and I wanted to become a good person and to do something meaningful in society. I also wanted to practise Falun Gong! People need "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance"!

A year has passed. I have never seen the stranger on the Internet because he is not in China. However, he is like family to me. I address him as older brother and his wife as older sister. I believe we will soon meet in person, just as I hope and believe that the persecution will come to an end in the not to distant future