Cultivation and the work place

I've been practising Falun Gong since 2004. For most of that time I have been employed, but for a period of a few months last year I was out of work. I would like to share some experiences of being in and out of work, and maintaining my faith in Master and the Fa throughout.

I never used to think of my job as important. It was a way to make money so that I could pursue what I really wanted to do in my spare time. As a result I stayed in the same job for five years, mainly because it was easy and comfortable, and I could slack off a bit at work.

After I obtained the Fa I realised that this attitude of laziness was not correct and I should measure every thought by the Fa. Even if I have the chance to not work or be lazy I shouldn't take it. I should push myself to do the best job I can, even if the work is dull or repetitive. Once I had this mindset I found the temptation to not work, browse the Internet, have a chat and so on, was quite strong! It’s something I still struggle with and find my mind doesn't stay on one task very long, meaning I'm easily distracted.

Because of my attitude that work wasn't that important, I never took on too much responsibility. But in the past couple of years my situation changed so that gradually I was given more and more responsibility. I realised that this was so that I could upgrade myself in line with the responsibilities Dafa disciples have in the Fa-rectification period.

I was promoted to the position of communications manager and had to report to senior management. I had more freedom to exercise my own judgement on the direction of my job, but I had to balance this with what the senior management wanted.

It did not go well.

It was clear that what I thought the job required was very different from what the management thought. On the one hand they wanted me to exercise independent judgement, but on the other they wanted to control the direction of the role. I had several very tense meetings. I felt I didn't know what to do. At one point I was nearly in tears in the office, and at another point I had a stern warning from the chief executive. I didn't argue with them, but I realised I needed to be firm in what I believed was right. I felt this was a xinxing test to see whether I could balance my responsibilities well and harmonise the situation.

They decided they wanted to demote me, so I made the decision to leave the company. It felt like completely the right decision. Perhaps my karmic connection with the company had come to an end – it certainly felt this way. Whilst I was at the company several of my colleagues started working on The Epoch Times, and they still do today, writing and proofreading. I think I had met and saved the beings I was supposed to, and now it was time to move on.

I began the process of sending out CVs and going for interviews. It would be more than two months until I next got a job, but I wasn't worried. I knew Master would arrange the best path for me as long as I put the effort into applying for jobs.

I realised that I should clarify the truth on my CV so I put in a part about Falun Gong and the persecution in my “interests” section. It wasn't mentioned by any interviewers except one when I was able to clarify the truth to the interviewer in some detail. I got the job. It was a temporary position for two months in the press department of a sports charity. I understood that I needed to save the sentient beings there as best I could in the limited time I had. Master arranged for me to have a short amount of time alone with most of the members of staff during which I could clarify the truth to them individually. It was about taking opportunities when they were presented, which is sometimes difficult to do.

During this time I discovered I have a very strong attachment to pride. I found that when I was praised about my work, in even a minor way, a strong feeling of pride would well up inside me. When someone wasn't impressed with what I did, I felt disappointed.

From then on I became very aware of this strong attachment to sentimentality, to the point that I really began to dislike it. This heightened awareness of this feeling has meant that it has gradually got less and less, but it is still there. It is connected to the show off mentality and a sense of egotism which I have had for a long time.

After I left this role I was briefly unemployed again, but found another temp job in central London for another charity. Here as well I felt I should clarify the truth as widely as I could but it was more difficult. People were less open and friendly as the company was closing and they were being made redundant. But I felt I should let things naturally unfold and not push things too hard. I remember a practitioner once told me that our fields can rectify those around us, just like Master says in Zhuan Falun: “Falun can save oneself by turning inward and save others by turning outward. While turning outward, it gives off energy and can benefit others. This way, within your energy-covering field others will benefit, and they may feel very comfortable.” So sometimes it’s not necessary to be overly keen to clarify the truth, especially if we are going to spend a large amount of time around people. This is another attachment of mine, which has been pointed out to me. I can be a bit zealous, whether it’s in truth clarification or attempting to be what I consider righteous.

Just as my money was about to run out, I found a job working for a Down’s syndrome charity. Here too my notions have been challenged. I work with a girl who hasn't responded well to the way I speak to her. I have a tendency to try and control the way she does her job, which stems from my attachment to always thinking I am right, and my way is the best. Again, at its root it's egotism. It has led to conflicts with the girl, but once I recognised this attachment and tried to let go of it, and didn't try and control what she does, she has become happier and we are getting along okay.

I have learnt through the process of finding a job to just be faithful in Master and believe in His path. Master has arranged the best for us, as long as we carry out what we should do. Master says: “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by
one’s master.” I understand from this that I just need to focus on cultivating myself every day, doing the three things well, and Master will take care of the rest.

Thank you Master and thank you fellow practitioners.