From the Illusion of "Modern Independent Lifestyle" to Truth-Compassion-Forbearance

I first heard about Falun Gong some five or six years ago when I saw a flyer about group practice in Sydney, Australia. I was a 19-year-old Croatian migrant living in Australia back then. I remember the flyer was yellow and had a lotus flower on it and I took it home with me, planning to go to the practice site because it just sounded so good. However, I never went.

Two years after that, I moved into a flat with two roommates I didn't know. As we were telling about our likes and dislikes, we started talking about spirituality, and one roommate said he used to practice Falun Gong. This was the second time I heard about Falun Gong. During that period I was following another practice that originated in India, but somehow always felt that something was missing. I thought about spirituality a lot, but I also engaged in many activities deemed "cool" and "acceptable," including drug abuse and promiscuous behavior. I was far from being truly spiritual.

One night in a dream, I was flying in space, in a bubble of some sort, looking down and seeing the Earth on my left. Inside the bubble was an Indian man, a Chinese man, and myself. The Chinese man took something from the forehead of the Indian man and did something to make it become more beautiful. It was a roundish object in purple, green and gold. I realized that this round object was precious and that the Chinese man took great responsibility for it. I had a feeling that the object was to be imparted to me next, but that if it were, it carried great responsibilities and the fate of the entire world depended on protecting it. Then, from outside the bubble, a snake-like man appeared and started to communicate with me telepathically. I realized he wanted to take over my body in order to possess the round object. He knew he would not be able to obtain it otherwise and would need my body. What followed was a battle of wits, the snake man trying to manipulate me into saying/thinking something wrong so that he could capitalize on it and gain control over me. The battle ended with him being the loser and then the Chinese man came close to me and gave me the round object.

When I woke up I was really startled and mentioned it to a couple of my friends. It was the most vivid dream I have ever had.

Two years ago, my work took me to another country and I shared a house with a female coworker who happened to be a Falun Gong practitioner. Through interacting with her I got to know about Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and realized that her practice was good. After hearing about the persecution I immediately took the Falun Gong side and kept quietly observing her behavior and admiring her calmness.

During that time I started reading one of those "new age" books that after a while made me feel uncomfortable. I couldn't quite tell what it was, but I somehow felt that the book was deceptive. During this time as well, I had an attachment to alcohol and to "having fun" while earning a good living and enjoying the modern lifestyle of a single young woman. Even though I considered myself a spiritual person and often pondered the truths of life, I was messing up my body and mind by looking everywhere, reading everything, and ending up with nothing.

One afternoon when the practitioner colleague was out, as I was surfing the Internet, I suddenly thought of Falun Gong. I typed in the words in a search engine and saw two photos of practitioners acting out torture scenes. I started crying uncontrollably. I was looking at the photo and an overwhelming sadness and feeling of injustice came over me. I suddenly got up, went to the practitioner's room, saw the book Zhuan Falun on her table, picked it up, held it tightly in my hands, and cried uncontrollably. I finally gathered myself together and started reading. After reading Lunyu I realized the depth and seriousness of this book. After reading two or three more pages, I felt the grandeur even more and I felt at peace. I felt so peaceful yet exhausted at the same time. I took a nap. After my colleague came home, I told her that I had started to read the book and how I thought it was wonderful. I explained the sequence of events, and she said she got lost on the way home, otherwise she would have been home two hours earlier (just at the time when I typed the words into the search engine). She said that it was evidently no accident. After reading two lectures the next day I asked her whether she could teach me the exercises, and after reading about throwing away all crooked qigong books, I disposed of them right away, even though a little voice was nagging me to keep them. Three weeks later both that practitioner and I finished working in that country and moved back to our countries of origin. It seemed obvious that she was sent there to remind me of the path I was to take. We were both, and are still, inspired by the sequence of these events. Even though geographically I have moved quite a lot, no distance was far enough to keep me from hearing about Falun Gong.

Now, a year later, I am realizing how blessed I have been to have been given the chance to cultivate in Dafa and how Master gave me chances so many times and never gave up on me. In the past year I have had many tribulations, mainly of a mental nature. Many attachments surfaced, such as jealousy, the desire to be validated as a female, lust, the competitive mentality, the mentality of always being right, sentimentality, and others. All of these were shown to me through interactions with ordinary people or other practitioners, and only when I took Dafa as the only guidance could I find solutions for the situations and let go of false notions and warped understandings. Sometimes I even noticed that I could sense a certain behavior pattern was wrong or that a thought was unrighteous and I still went along with it. It seemed I knew that it was wrong but I didn't want to let it go, for if I did, what then, how then? Then there would always be an article or a sentence from Zhuan Falun that compassionately reminded me to actively cultivate, eliminating those attachments that are not my original nature to begin with. From that I learned that if I look at "problems" as opportunities for growth and fix them rather than over analyze them and passively endure, Master will open up my wisdom to improve. I feel so much like a better being!. When I look back at my ways in the past, I shiver and almost feel dirty. Only through cultivating in Dafa was my true wisdom opened and could I realize how filthy the ideals of everyday society are.

Not only have I realized that I need to take Fa study as a priority and truly work hard on my heart and my xinxing (character), but the feeling of urgency to save sentient beings is constantly sounding like an alarm bell in my ear. If a week goes by that I don't deliver flyers or talk to people face to face about Falun Gong, I feel that I am falling behind. When I disposed of the attachment to "doing things" and took a compassionate point of view towards clarifying the truth, Teacher arranged so many opportunities for me to validate the Fa and save sentient beings.

I work as a teacher, and for the past couple of months I have been explaining the facts about Falun Gong to all the classes I teach. The first couple of classes I went to with the intention of clarifying the truth, all the students were receptive and asked many questions. After two weeks of not clarifying the truth to the remaining classes, one student in a class, out of nowhere, completely unrelated to our topic, mentioned communism and China. I realized this was a great opportunity to start explaining the truth to the entire class. In another class one student asked, "Teacher, what is 'Falun Dafa Hao?' You told the other class about this but we want to know, too." This was a clear reminder to me that I must make sure to clarify the truth to every single class I teach, no exceptions, because they all came here for the Fa. They were literally asking me to tell them! The entire class immediately quieted down and payed close attention. They said they would like to wear T-shirts that say "Falun Dafa Hao." Teacher arranges for the best circumstances in class for me to clarify the truth. It is almost like a well rehearsed play: the stage is set and all that is left is for me to do what I am supposed to.

Also, after breaking the barrier in clarifying the facts to my friends and family and seeing the difference in how they accept the facts depending on my frame of mind, I realized the importance of keeping up strong righteous thoughts, of truly studying and understanding the Fa, and of having fundamental belief in the Fa and Master. Once the fundamental belief is firm, no circumstance or attachment is a problem. As I write this, I realize the importance of regarding myself as a practitioner at all times, something that, admittedly, I am still learning how to do. If I have the fundamental belief in the Fa, the fundamental belief in Teacher and in the enormity of the Fa-rectification, and always regard myself as a practitioner, even any notion of "obstacle" will melt away, let alone be allowed to manifest.

In the one year I have been cultivating in Dafa I have learned so much, but I realize that I have to study more, do even better, and catch up with the Fa-rectification process.

Thank you, all practitioners, for your experiences. I have learned so much through regularly reading them on Clearwisdom.

Heshi.