My Fundamental Attachment

I have been practicing Falun Dafa for five years. During this period, sometimes I strove forward and cultivated diligently and other times I cultivated poorly. When coming across a conflict, I frequently looked inward to find my attachment and then, let go of it. However, I always felt that the effect was not very good even though I let go of my attachments.

Teacher said in the article "Towards Consummation":
"After cultivating for a period of time, are your thoughts still the same? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that you haven't gotten rid of your fundamental attachments and that you are unable to understand the Fa from the Fa." (Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Every time I read Teacher's article "Towards Consummation," I reconsidered whether I still had not given up my fundamental human attachments. But every time I did this I came to the conclusion that I had given them up.

Yesterday I ran into a conflict with a family member. I wanted to pass the test so I was tolerant and did no argue. At the same time, I looked inward to find my human notions and attachments. I quickly discovered that I didn't have enough compassion towards my family members. I didn't regard them as non-practitioners who need to be saved; instead, I eagerly tried to change their behaviour with my human sentiment.

While I was studying the Fa that night, I suddenly discovered that I had an attachment that had been hiding for a long period of time. When I first obtained Falun Dafa, I knew that a cultivator could achieve consummation and become a divine being. I unconsciously thought that I certainly could achieve consummation. However, the "consummation" I thought of didn't meet the standards of what Teacher requested us to do by diligently cultivating to achieve consummation. Especially during the past two years, every time I read or heard that Teacher had said there was not too much time left, I had an attachment toward time, although I wasn't attached to the specific time when the persecution would be over and our cultivation would result in achieving consummation. I always thought that the persecution would end soon. Even when I talked to my non-practitioner friends, I would sincerely tell them that the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) would certainly collapse in a few years. Furthermore, although my job had run into various difficulties and my income had gotten worse for several years, I still didn't pay too much attention to it, as well as other problems in my life. I didn't carefully consider them and instead, I had a negative mentality of waiting. I thought that I didn't need to work hard to make money and my parents and children unnecessarily needed me to support them because Teacher arranged a practitioner's life and would take care of everything for me. I also frequently felt that "my mind was beyond the world." I thought that perhaps the CCP would collapse next year or some other time and Fa-rectification would end. Meanwhile, I didn't diligently cultivate myself or utilize the limited time that Teacher repeatedly said we should use to clarify the truth to save more people. Instead I waited and hoped that Fa-rectification would end soon so I could achieve "consummation."

After I found my fundamental attachment, I realized how dirty and terrible my human mentalities were! This is also the main reason that recently I didn't diligently cultivate myself. Particularly after the CCP illegally arrested many practitioners before the Olympic Games, I was unable to think it through and treated the situation with a negative heart. I felt more ashamed when I thought of when I was persecuted by the CCP and a fellow practitioner put themselves into a risky situation to rescue me.

I realized that this dirty fundamental attachment was also a life which I had nourished before; therefore, I wanted to expose it so that I could thoroughly eliminate and disintegrate it. The process of Fa-rectification has been delayed repeatedly and one of the factors which caused this could be my attachment. So from now on, I must study the Fa with a peaceful mind, practice the exercises and send forth righteous thoughts more often and save more sentient beings.