Recently, three things happened that provided me with a deeper understanding of how attached I am to my own self-interest.
The first thing that happened in this manner is as follows. One day after I had finished taking care of my business and was ready to go home, I found myself some distance from a bus stop, so I had to make a decision about whether to walk to the bus stop or take a taxi home. Should I spend the extra money and take a taxi in order to clarify the truth to the driver or should I just take the bus home. Even though I have enough money for my daily life, I am not rich but am naturally thrifty. I do not want to suffer losses but neither do I want to take advantage of others. Therefore, I could not decide whether I should spend the extra money on a taxi in order to clarify truth to the driver or take the bus. While walking to the bus stop, I asked Master to give me a hint but Master did not give me one. Finally, I realized that Master wanted me to walk my own path.
The second thing happened when I was helping a classmate buy materials for his business. After I helped him, he offered me money saying that it was the money that his employers would have paid someone else to do the job that I had done. I agreed with his thinking, so I accepted his money plus interest. Unfortunately, my classmate’s wife knew about this and she thought that I was too concerned with money. After this incident, my wife said something that really touched my heart. She said that it does not matter who pays the money, I should not take money from other people. Upon reflection, I think that my wife is right. I though about Master’s words: “People who pay attention to self interest will not recognize their relatives” (unofficial translation). What Master said really applies to me. Even though I planned to use this money to buy a piece of equipment to use in validating the Fa, it still was not good because everything we do should be pure and righteous.
The third thing occurred when I asked a relative to buy apples for me for the winter season, and that I would repay him the money later. At that time, I had done him a favour when I had found a job for his child. Because this relative was grateful, he did not want to accept my money. I agreed with his thinking, so I did not insist on paying him. Today, when the relative was about to deliver the apples, he discovered that two boxes of my apples had been eaten by mice. Why? I believe that his was caused by my everyday people’s attachment of haggling over every ounce.
I was not using Dafa’s standard to measure myself when dealing with personal gain and self-interest. Instead, I was haggling over every ounce like ordinary people. Why did I think that if I give something to someone that he should return the favour? As a cultivator, we cannot think this way. Therefore, the three things that I have just described gave me a chance to see the loophole I have in this respect. Helping my classmate to buy things should be free of charge and I should not take the money from him for it. I should not treat the situation differently based on the fact that someone else is paying for it. My help should be unconditional. Just as saving sentient beings should be unconditional without keeping track of how much effort we spend. All of these incidences seem small, but they actually reflect how big my attachment is to protecting my self-interest and not being willing to suffer losses.
I also remembered that recently, I picked up twenty cents from road and brought the money home. At that time, I thought that it was better for me to bring the money home than to leave it on the road. After I read an article from the weekly Minghui newspaper about how practitioners should handle money lost by other people, I realized that my cultivation in this respect was pretty poor. I thought about the high moral standard of our ancestors, and I resolved to be the same as them in the future.
I will return the money to them. I should live up to a higher standard and eliminate the selfish attachment of protecting my self-interest and become a cultivator who is different from everyday people. In the future, I will treat all such situations with the selflessness of a Dafa disciple.
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