For a while, practitioner A and I have had disagreements that showed the gap between us. I was very unhappy about it. Therefore, practitioner B said to me: "Cultivation is cultivating oneself." This helped me enlighten to some Fa truths and I told myself: "Regardless of how practitioner A treats me, no matter who is at fault, when there is a problem, there must be something for me to cultivate, so I must look within."
When I was ready to truly look within and cultivate, I found that it was difficult to let go of wanting to argue. Sometimes, subconsciously, I thought about practitioners' shortcomings, "If she would do better, the projects would be done better." Every time when I began to think about that, I force myself to think positively, "If I would do better, the projects would be done better."
I began to seriously look within. After a few days, I found that I had significant problems. I had still the attitude instilled in me by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), the attitude that is called "Party culture."
I wanted others to understand Dafa the way I did. I forced others to measure themselves by my standards and I believed to be always in the right. I always wanted to give my opinion and place special emphasis on what I had to say. I was not good at listening to others and did not cooperate with others. I always focused on what I believed. I could not see anything from another person's point of view, and I cared less about whether other people could accept what I said. I was attached to other people's attachments, lacked compassion, and always wanted to change other practitioners. I was immersed in emotion and always wanted to be recognized by other practitioners. I was afraid of being misunderstood and having arguments. I forgot to treat the Fa as my Teacher, and I just did not want to lose face. I didn't talk with others face-to-face and was afraid of asking questions.
I finally realized that if I did not have these shortcomings, there would be no gap. I finally felt that I had gotten rid of a layer of attachments, and the so-called "gap" with another practitioner disappeared instantly. Because no matter what kind of shortcomings others have, and no matter how others think of me or treat me, it will not move me, for I am able to clearly see what Dafa requires of me. I came to truly understand a layer of meaning in "compassion". It is not about proving or changing oneself under the banner of "for the benefit of others." It is being free of desire and pursuit. It is so broad and boundless. Compassion is a realm, like Teacher said,
"Compassion comes from a person's cultivation, and it's not something that's acted out; it comes from deep inside, and it's not something done to show others. It's something that exists eternally, and it doesn't change with the passage of time or changes in circumstances." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Washington DC Fa Conference")
The feeling I had is difficult to describe. I only felt that I finally let go of so many burdens, so many heavy burdens. I no longer was like what I had been in the past. I used to worry about this or that, focus on others' shortcoming, and always wanted to "guide" practitioners. Now I understand that Dafa is measuring everything, and every being is controlled by Dafa.
The requirements of Dafa for beings are the principle of Truth-Compassion-Forbearance. Practitioners have to hold themselves to the Fa standards and look within, as opposed to holding others to the Fa standards according to one's own understanding. I also came to understand that we need to be compassionate to fellow practitioners. Regardless of what kind of shortcoming a practitioner has or whether one wants to change it or not, we should still work well with them. We don't look down on them, complain or point fingers at them, or feel unfairly treated. As long as we point out practitioners' shortcomings with a pure kind heart, we can truly achieve the purpose of "exchanging with one another, improving together."
I have seen practitioners attempting to help others that have gaps. However, as soon as they talked about the other person's shortcomings, both of them were trying to gain understanding from the other. Therefore, their gap did not disappear, and in fact it deepened. I feel that only if we begin to look within can we eliminate the gaps among one another. This is the only way for us practitioners to eliminate the distance between each other.
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