Finding the Attachment to Fame

One day during lunchtime at my company, the two human resources managers who are usually seated at the front desk wanted to go out for lunch and needed someone to sit at the front desk in their place.

I and a colleague happened to have just returned from lunch and were walking by the front desk. Realizing they had not had lunch yet, I volunteered.

In the afternoon, the company was going to hold a competition on enterprise culture and I was among the contestants.

As I was at the front desk, I noticed some small folded sheets of paper piled together, which obviously were the questions to be used in the competition.

Although the competition was intended mainly for entertainment, it should still be just and fair.

I walked up to the two managers who were preparing the room for the competition and said, "I just wanted to alert you, that I was filling in at the front desk and noticed you had left the competition questions there. Be careful. The questions could leak out easily. Now what do you think about having me as one of the contestants? Shouldn't I get a bonus at the competition for this?"

Right after saying that, I realized that I wasn't showing off my honesty and being upright. I was just trying to show that my moral level was above others. Why did I make that comment? Due to my lust for fame.

In retrospect, I should have just sat there naturally without even caring about the questions. Showing off my integrity was really unnecessary.

Lately I have noticed my attachment to fame and the desire to show off more and more, especially in front of my superiors.

What is the purpose of being a good person and maintaining high moral standards? It is to fulfil the meaning of our true selves. Our true selves originated from the Fa and should maintain high moral standards naturally. Since my true self should be assimilated to the principles of Truthfulness-Benevolence-Forbearance, why do I still show off to others? Isn't the show-off mentality a stain on my true self? I seek approval from others. But if others do not approve, does it mean I don't need to do my best or I should lower my standards? On a rational level, my answer is definitely no. But, in fact, what I do says yes.

When I do a good deed, I have a strong desire for fame. And when my desire isn't satisfied, I am disappointed. Sometimes, I've even given up on myself and fallen into low spirits. In my daily life, I seek my parent's approval, my colleagues' approval, and my superior's approval. Sometimes, I pay too much attention to how others think about me, and their reaction often affects me negatively.

When I do the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) along with fellow practitioners, if my opinion is not supported or agreed with, I sometimes develop very negative feelings and give up doing anything. What is my goal then? How much of my "goal" is just to show others?

When I write my blog, why do I often expect compliments and responses from others? What is my purpose in writing my blog?

These questions concern various aspects of my whole life. I obviously have not found the true purpose yet. This seems to be a manifestation of my being lost in the ordinary people's world.

If a practitioner doesn't eliminate the attachment to fame, it will certainly make him forget where he is going.