During my cultivation, I am always not willing or even do not want to admit that I have many unrighteous thoughts, such as jealousy, competitiveness, pursuits of fame and interests, desires and lust, etc. I have already noticed these attachments while looking inward, but when I mentioned them during sharing with fellow practitioners, I described them vaguely and even intentionally found excuses for these attachments. So I had not been able to face these things squarely with an unambiguous attitude. In fact, I was controlled by my attachments of protecting myself and being afraid of others' looking down upon me. Furthermore, I had taken these degenerated substances, which I had accumulated during my life in the old cosmos as a part of my life. But in fact, these substances do not belong to our original nature, much less are they in compliance with the new cosmos' principles. Therefore, we must completely remove these degenerated substances by following the new cosmos' Fa principles. Our covering up these things is not just a xinxing (character) issue, but an act of protecting these degenerated substances and providing them a living space.
While doing the three things (studying the fa, clarifying the trith about Falun Gong, sending forth righteous thoughts), I have also gained new understandings on the attachment of fear. Fear is the same as other attachments as they are all postnatal substances that a life has accumulated while living in the old cosmos for selfish purposes. Furthermore, this substance of fear has grown into a very thick layer while one becomes too attached to worldly losses or gains. This substance has affected practitioners' enlightenment quality and even controlled some practitioners' behaviours. Some practitioners' do not dare to do certain things even when they clearly know that they should do them. But how should we face the attachment of fear? First of all, we should acknowledge that it is a substance. Secondly, when fear surfaces, we should not always complain why we still have the attachment of fear, instead, we should look at it objectively and use our righteous thoughts to completely negate and dissolve it. That is to say, during cultivation, this attachment surfacing is normal, as it is, after all, a degenerated substance, which we have to eliminate from our dimensional fields.
During my cultivation process, I always start to slacken after a period of diligent cultivation. During this slackened period, I even start to doubt all of what I have done. This phenomenon had puzzled me for a long time. The past several days, I studied the Fa lecture that Master gave in Switzerland:
"The transformation of your body starts from the microscopic level, from the origin of your existence--the fundamental particles that comprise your being--and expands outwards from the inside, like the rings of a tree. It will expand outward like the rings of a tree for as long as you cultivate, and will do so as soon as you meet the standard. When it expands out to the surface, just like tree rings reaching the bark, the transformation is complete and you Consummate. Before it has reached the bark, that is, before it has reached the outermost surface layer of your physical body, your physical body on the surface still has thoughts like those of ordinary humans and you are bound to have a variety of ordinary human desires, lust, feelings, and other attachments of all sorts." ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland," September 4-5, 1998)
This paragraph of Fa has profoundly touched me and allowed me to gain new understandings on this cultivation state of mine. I became even clearer about why Master has kept emphasizing the importance of Fa study. When we cultivate diligently, the part of us that has cultivated well, or the part that has already been assimilated to the Fa, has already been separated from the part that has not cultivated well, so what manifests is always the part of us that has not been assimilated to the Fa. Therefore, we should keep studying the Fa, use Dafa to wash away the dirt that has contaminated our lives, cultivate ourselves diligently, and return to home with Master.
This is some of the understandings that I have had during my cultivation. Please point out anything that does not conform to the Fa.
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