Looking Within Myself

I encountered many "troubles" lately, and my attempts to resolve them were fruitless. I became exhausted and began complaining about fellow practitioners rather than looking within to resolve my problems.

I went to practitioner A's home yesterday. We had previously worked together very well, but last night we disagreed with each other on a number of things. On my way home, I wondered why she was so attached to herself, having to give many reasons to verify that she was right? She was right, but the way she expressed herself was hard for me to accept. I thought to myself, "No wonder she is stuck in her tribulations for a long time."
Suddenly, I became alarmed. Why did I look for others' mistakes when I encountered a problem? In "Fa Teaching Given to the Australia Practitioners," August 4, 2007, Master repeatedly stressed the importance of looking within. No matter what we encounter that stirs us up, we must look within.

Fellow practitioner A's behaviour gave me the impression of harbouring a strong attachment to selfishness. Why would a veteran practitioner who has been cultivating for many years, who is mature and rational, behave like this in front of me? I realized that I had a strong attachment to myself and wouldn't let others point out my shortcomings. Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, I was introverted and had a strong attachment to my reputation. After I began cultivation, I wrapped myself in a shell and covered up my attachments. I wouldn't let others find my shortcomings. I hardly ever heard anything that was uncomfortable to my ear. If anything happened, I always looked for others' mistakes and hardly ever looked within. I assumed that I firmly believed in Master and Dafa, but in actuality, I didn't follow Master's requirements. That was why I passed some tests only after enormous effort. Fellow practitioner A's behaviour might be quite normal, but it disturbed me because it exposed my attachment.

Fellow practitioner A is going through some tribulations, but she is still trying her best to help me, and I was focused on her shortcomings and not my own. If I truly see one of her attachments, I should point it out to her without any selfish thoughts and with compassion.

In front of our compassionate and respected Master, I am so insignificantly small. That selfishness is not a part of me, and I will expose and eliminate it. I will practice in an upright and dignified manner, and only then can I live up to Master's compassion.