A Retrospective Look at My Cultivation Journey

I still have vivid memories of the day in February 1999, just like it was yesterday, when I first read the precious book Zhuan Falun. When I was done reading, with tears running down my face, I pledged to Master's picture that I would follow him forever.

1. Beginning cultivation

Prior to beginning cultivation, I was partially disabled. My father died when I was a year old. My mother and my big sisters went to work in the fields, and the youngest of my sisters took care of me at home. She accidentally dropped me and broke my collarbone. One week later, an X-ray revealed not only a broken collarbone but various injuries to my ribs and tendons. There were also abnormalities in my heart, stomach, and lungs. My family was too poor to afford the medical bills, and my mom was still too devastated over the death of my father to devote much attention to me. With damaged organs and broken bones, my very survival was a miracle. Yet I was severely debilitated and could not do any heavy physical labour.

I married my husband in 1995 at 24. Even though he was from a poor family, his parents had spoiled him and he didn't like to work. He boozed a lot, too. Since I could hardly work, our family could not make ends meet. When he came home drunk, he would often find excuses to fight with me. Within two years of marriage, I had developed few more illnesses: myocarditis, angina, gastritis, ulcer, hemorrhoids, tracheitis, and others. The most severe was angina, and I would often roll in pain in bed in the middle of the night. I suffered from a slow heart rate and missed heart beats. Those days were nothing but a living hell.

When my daughter was three years old in 1998, I had trouble cooking and taking care of her. I could not carry her. My husband basically ignored me. I was 163 cm tall and weighed only 45kg and had no money to buy medicine. Once a kind neighbour took pity on me and gave me a bottle of pills to help me cope with the heart disease.

Fortunately I was introduced to the Fa in February 1999. The New Year had just passed, and at my neighbour's suggestion I listened to Master's Dalian lecture for the first time. The more I listened, the more I found myself getting into it. At the end of the first lecture I blurted out, "One lecture is even more instructional than ten years' of learning!" No words could express the magnificent feeling in my heart that a window had just opened. My neighbour said, "It looks like you are predestined for the Fa. Why don't you get a book written by Master and we can cultivate together. Your illnesses will be cured, too." I lowered my head, "I have no money to buy books." This kind hearted practitioner took out a copy of Zhuan Falun, saying, "You can have this one."

I was so excited I was speechless. Later on, I got all of Master's books and lectures from other practitioners. I really want to use this opportunity to express my gratitude to all the practitioners who have helped me.

Since my child was noisy during the day, it took me three nights to complete my first reading of Zhuan Falun. That book grabbed me like a magnet and overhauled my world view. I found all the answers to puzzles in my life in this amazing book. I congratulated myself for being so fortunate to get this book, become a practitioner, and find a goal in life!

Interestingly enough, as soon as I read Zhuan Falun, my tracheitis was triggered and I could not stop coughing. The hemorrhoids returned, too, but in three days, both conditions completely disappeared. The body-purification came rather intensely. The rehabilitation of a disabled person like me who had had difficulty just cooking meals only took two weeks. Two weeks later I was able to go to the practice site and carry my baby when visiting my neighbours. Within three months, I had gained weight, to 55 kg, and my complexion became good, too.

The most miraculous thing of all was that before I knew it, my ten or so illnesses disappeared in no time. I felt energetic, as if I could go unload train cargo with the men. I could not believe it. My body was so light, and my happiness was indescribable.

Great Master had cleaned a karma-filled me into such purity; he pulled me back from the brink of death. Being a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period, bestowed with such a grand mission, I have no reason to not cultivate diligently. I want to thank my Master again for his compassionate salvation.

2. Tests from my family

I am straightforward and stubborn. At the beginning when I started to practice, my husband witnessed the miracle of my diseases being cured and was supportive of my practice. Later on, when the persecution started, my husband believed the rumours in the media and exerted pressure on me.

On July 20, 1999, a fellow practitioner and I went to the city hall to petition to be allowed to practice and were later detained. My husband signed some sort of a "guarantee" and took me home, and from then on refused to let me read the book or practice the exercises.

Because I work during the day, I had to read behind his back at night. My husband usually came home after midnight, drunk. If he saw me reading, he would either swear at me or beat me. I didn't know how to stop it with righteous thoughts, so the swearing and insults became common practice.

My husband's attitude never affected my determination to cultivate. Despite my painstaking explanations and clarifications, he turned a deaf ear. He kept repeating one sentence: "As long as the government forbids it, you cannot do it." No matter how badly my husband treated me, I lived by only one principle: "It is Dafa that gave me a second chance for life, and my life exists for Dafa."

I recall an early morning, 1:00 a.m., in 2001. My husband came home drunk. As soon as he stepped in, he dragged me up. As he stared at me with red eyes, he demanded, "Say, will you still read the Falun Gong book in the future? Answer me, or I will stab you to death." He then pulled out a sharp knife a half-foot long. I was too scared to say anything. Hearing nothing from me, he said again, "Answer me! Will you still read it?" I dared not speak and began to cry. All I could do was try to push the knife away, afraid he would stab me with it at any moment. This stalemate went on for about one minute; sweat and tears smeared my face. Somehow, for no reason, my husband all of sudden dropped the knife and fell asleep. As I looked at him deep in sleep, I cried, taking real pity on him.
Things like that happened a few more times. Once he came home drunk and chased me with a huge club, and I was forced to stay over at a fellow practitioner's home. Another time, when he got up in the morning and found me reading in the kitchen, he jumped up and struck me in the face. With the advancing of the Fa-rectification processes, where more and more evil elements were eliminated, his demonic nature was largely restrained. Moved by my earnestness and resolution in studying the Fa, he no longer minded my practice.

3. Validating the Fa and explaining the facts to people

A coordinator in my area was arrested in August 2003, and I assumed the job temporarily, leaving me less time for Fa study and the exercises.

Besides work, I needed to take care of my family and hand out informational materials at night. After work, what took other people 30 minutes took me half of the time. I just never wanted to waste any time on the road. It was like running against time. By the time I finished handing out fliers it was usually late at night. My husband was already deep asleep. I would use this time to study the Fa. I got up before day-break.

My time was divided between work and Dafa work, and I practically ignored my family. My in-laws were not happy, nor was my husband with the little time I had for him. Back then I thought I was in the right, and my family had no right at all to interfere. Not looking within myself made me pay a heavy price. I was arrested in 2005 and let myself later be "reformed" (Implementation of brainwashing and torture in order to force a practitioner to renounce Falun Gong) That was an ignoble part of my history. Master told us, "If you've fallen don't just lie there, get up right away!" ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")

In my opinion, for a cultivator to have attachments is not the most horrible thing; what is horrible is to hide the attachments, not wanting to get rid of them. From then on I acted according to the standard of a cultivator and refused to cooperate with the prison guards. In the end, I escaped from the prison in June 2007.

All these past experiences can be summed up into one thing, which is that a Dafa practitioner needs to study the Fa and study it well. Only with righteous thoughts and righteous behaviour can one follow closely the steps of Master's Fa rectification and be worthy of Master's benevolent salvation.