I became a Falun Dafa practitioner at the end of 1998. Protected by our merciful Teacher and with help from fellow practitioners, I have made it to today after travelling a rough and rocky path.
In 2008, we established a truth-clarification material production site at my home. I warned myself that I needed to have patience and firm righteous thoughts in everything I did. Before I printed truth-clarification materials, I always tested the printer and made sure everything was working properly, so I hardly ever wasted any consumable materials, which were really Dafa's resources. From downloading material from the Internet to printing materials, it has run very smoothly. I am also deeply aware that this was due to the wisdom and ability given to me by our merciful Teacher.
A fellow practitioner from our Fa study group recently came to my home and said, "Another practitioner can produce truth clarification materials on their own now. They are also currently making calendars, and they look very attractive!" I could not help but say to myself, "Yeah! It is good, really good." I repeated these words to myself several times.
When the practitioner left, I realized I was wrong. Why did I repeat the same sentence so many times? I realized I had human notions, but what were they? I made last year's calendar. If she could do it, then what would I do? Could she really do it well? I was shocked to realize that I was jealous.
Teacher said:
"When I teach the Fa, I often bring up the issue of jealousy. Why is this? It is because jealousy is displayed very strongly in China. It is so strong that it has become natural and one does not even feel it." (Zhuan Falun)
If that practitioner is able to produce materials, I should be happy for her. Wasn't it the effect of jealousy? I picked up Zhuan Falun and turned to the section on jealousy. I read:
"The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether you can complete cultivation practice. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile. There is this rule: If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit--absolutely not. Perhaps you have heard before that Buddha Amitabha spoke of going to a paradise with karma. But that is not going to happen without giving up jealousy." (Zhuan Falun)
After reading this lecture, I blushed with shame. I have been cultivating for so many years and have read Zhuan Falun so many times. I always thought I was very honest on my path of cultivation. Sometimes I exchanged my understandings on cultivation with fellow practitioners and asked them where I did not do well so I could improve. Why was this attachment of jealousy hidden so deeply? This is a huge barrier for practitioners moving towards consummation!
Prior to writing this article, I first wrote a draft and read it to my husband, also a practitioner. He said, "Such a minor matter is not worth writing about. You see so many good articles written by practitioners on Minghui/Clearwisdom." His words were like pouring cold water on me, even thought he was right it being a minor issue. I tore up the draft and thought I should wait until my cultivation state had improved. Then I looked inside and asked myself, "Why not write this article? Feelings of embarrassment and being inferior are interference." When I realized this, I picked up my pen and wrote this article.
Practitioners that have the attachment of jealousy but are still not aware of it should quickly abandon this attachment, purify themselves with Dafa at all times, and rectify their every thought. We should use the wisdom given to us by Teacher to open the locks that prevent us from reaching consummation so that we can go home with Teacher.
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