Because I am a Falun Gong practitioner, I was fired from my job as a result of the persecution. For more than a year I searched unsuccessfully for another job, and I decided to share my quandary with a fellow practitioner. Something that this practitioner said helped me wake up and change.
At first, because I still had some savings, I wasn't concerned about finding a job. I solely focused on doing Falun Dafa work.
I still had not found a job after months and my savings were almost depleted. I thought that a practitioner's job was arranged by Teacher, so one shouldn't lose any sleep over it. I remained calm and focused solely on doing the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people). Besides, this might be a test on whether I believe in Teacher and Dafa or not.
After another few months passed and I still hadn't found a job, I became anxious. I thought, Teacher said in "Dafa Is All-Encompassing,"
"A stable job also prevents a cultivator from being held up, due to problems of food and shelter or survival, in his cultivation, in his spreading the Fa without worries, or in his clarifying the truth and saving the world's people." (Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I developed the thought that Teacher would not let any practitioner remain unemployed, and therefore it might be interference from the old forces. I began sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate interference, yet I still couldn't resolve my problem.
I then thought, "Why are the old forces able to interfere with me? I must have some attachments." I began looking inward, and found many attachments. I didn't like criticism. I was still lustful, wanted my comfort, thought highly of myself, had a show-off mentality, had not given up zealotry, thought that I was more capable than others, could not tolerate others, was intolerant when others made mistakes or could not let go of their shortcomings, had still not let go of the Party Culture elements, talked loud, didn't appreciate others, was inconsiderate of others and talked behind their backs.
Another few months passed, and I still had not found a job. I started wondering whether I was too attached to finding a job. Teacher said,
"What usually happens is that the more attached to something you become, the greater the likelihood that problems will follow and form into something like a test of your xinxing." ("Fa Teaching Given at the NTDTV Meeting")
I then read an article on the Clearwisdom/Minghui website. The practitioner talked about how they studied the Fa. This practitioner said, "When one reads the Fa, one should not read too fast, so as to absorb the inner meanings from the Fa. When other practitioners point out your problems, you should look inward, as opposed to having a heart of not wanting to be criticized by others. When everyone looks within, they can quickly improve, and everyone will welcome other practitioners pointing out their problems. When seeing other practitioner's shortcomings, point them out in a compassionate way. If a practitioner has a hidden major attachment, talk about it in your Fa-study group."
I still hadn't found a job. Therefore, remembering what that practitioner said in the article, I raised my issue at our Fa-study. I was looking for help from practitioners on whether I had some attachments deeply hidden inside me. One practitioner said to me, "Did you have the mindset of doing Dafa work diligently and not paying enough attention to everyday people's things? I thought it over. Then, I realized that it was just like this practitioner had said. Even though on the surface, I tried to handle everyday life well, I wasn't really that serious about everyday life. I wanted to finish whatever I did quickly, so I could go back to doing Dafa work.
I suddenly understood what went wrong when I interviewed for a job. I thought that Teacher would arrange my work for me regardless of how I conducted myself. I was sure that it was not up to the interviewer to decide whether he wanted me or not. If it was mine, then nobody could take it away from me.
On the surface, it looked as if I followed the Fa, but deep inside, I was relying on Teacher and didn't feel that I had any personal responsibility in my job search. It was pure selfishness. I wasn't harmonizing with the Fa's requirements. I treated Dafa work as cultivation, neglecting the role I played in society.
As a matter of fact, your cultivation reflects in every aspect of your life, and as a practitioner, you should manage to do everything well by always putting the Fa in the first place and at the same time try to harmonize well with everything you comes across. These two things are not contradictory, because the key is whether you have an attachment or not, as the Fa is all-encompassing, and has mighty power. Some practitioners, in order to comply with everyday people, don't keep up with doing Dafa work. This is going to the other extreme. After I finally hit on the attachment I could let it go and found a job in no time.
Having noticed that some practitioners are interfered with by the old forces and have economic problems, I decided to write about my experience. I sincerely hope that this will help other practitioners to solve their dilemma.
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