Eliminating Human Notions and Overcoming the Tribulation of Family

I began to practice Dafa in January 1999. After I had been practicing for only six months, the brutal persecution started on July 20, 1999. My six months of cultivation gave me the foundation to move forward. I knew Dafa and Master were righteous and studying Dafa was the right thing to do. Miracles had happened to me physically and mentally during those six months. I was not an outgoing person. I could not sleep when little things bothered me. After practicing Dafa and learning its principles, I understood about retribution and that all of my sadness and tribulations are from my own karma. I completely changed myself and became a happy person.

Breaking Through Family Tribulations

After the persecution began, I went through many tribulations within my family and suffered a lot physically and mentally. My husband has a big family. He is the youngest, and he has two older brothers and two older sisters. They all have good jobs. Since I refused to give up Dafa, they were all afraid that I would affect them. My husband often beat me. His brothers and sisters didn't stop him and even supported him in blaming me.
Once, a practitioner called me to her home to check her MP3 player. I went and stayed a bit longer. When I got home, nobody said anything to me. At night, my sister-in-law told my husband. My husband was a bit drunk and he angrily questioned where I was and what I did during the day. I tried to argue with him and he started to punch my head repeatedly. My in-laws and my brother-in-law all heard the noises. My father-in-law wanted all my family members to come the following day so that they could all make a decision about whether or not I should practice Falun Gong. The next day, my older sister and younger brother and my brother-in-law, and sister-in-law all came. They all questioned me. Finally they decided that if I quit Falun Gong, life would proceed. If not, my husband and I had to divorce.

I knew that demons were controlling my relatives, who were deceived by the Party's lies and were trying to persecute me. My answer to them was that I wanted to keep practicing Falun Gong, but I didn't want to divorce my husband, either. My sister saw my husband's family's attitude and was afraid that I would lose everything. She passed out for a moment. My heart was not moved, and I kept sending forth righteous thoughts and reciting the Fa. Even though my sister was pitifully begging me, my brother-in-law was blaming me, and my kind brother even tried to beat me, I was extremely calm. Nothing could move my heart: I would practice Dafa all the way to the end. Afterward, I went to my parents' home.

Three days later, my father-in-law called me and asked me to come home. I went back on my husband's birthday, hoping to change him with my compassion. Right after I got back, my father-in-law scolded me in the yard without making any sense, then moved out of my home. Then my husband got very angry and threw dishes and bowls around. Later, a practitioner told me more bad news. My husband had had an affair. I was not too surprised. I knew that no matter how big my tribulation was, I must break through it and this was my path. With Master's compassionate protection and hints, I walked through it with uneven steps.

Joining Group Study

I knew that I must participate in group Fa study. With fellow practitioners' help, I did. Even though it was an easy thing to do for other practitioners, it was really difficult for me.

My husband has a bad temper. He especially could not tolerate my going to group study. He did not like any practitioners. He made trouble for me every time I went. Since I didn't look at this tribulation from the Fa but with human notions, I considered it as persecution by a human being and deeply resented him. Once when I went to a practitioner's home for group study, he angrily came and broke in. He dragged me by my hair. When another practitioner tried to stop him from beating me by holding his leg, he kicked her. When another practitioner tried to persuade him to leave me alone, he pulled her off the bed and she fell on the floor. She had a bad fall and was not able to walk for a couple of days. Later, all the practitioners enlightened that all of us had treated him with human sentiments, and the demons and the evil factors that were controlling him used this loophole to persecute us. I was so angry that I picked up a shoe on the floor and threw it at him. He beat me up badly. At that time, I only had resentment--not only did he beat me up, but he also hurt other practitioners. How was I going to face them in the future? They have all helped and encouraged me.

Whenever I encountered tribulation, practitioners, especially Practitioner A, very often shared with me from the Fa how to look inwards, eliminate attachments and human notions, deal with family relationship righteously, and walk righteously and steadily on the path that Master arranged for us. However, since I didn't study the Fa solidly, I was not able to handle the relationship with my husband correctly or treat him as a sentient being. Instead, I kept blaming him and resenting him, which formed a dense energy field. I also had the attachment of fear about his going to our group study to disturb other practitioners. As a result of all these attachments, he beat me up again.

During a group study night in March of last year, when a practitioner suggested we finish the chapter we were reading, my heart became uncertain. Should I go home at 9 p.m. or stay to finish the chapter? This notion and my attachment to fear made the evil see my loophole. Soon afterward, my husband came to our group study again. He started to tear my copy of Zhuan Falun, then he yelled at me. The elderly Practitioner A tried to stop him with peace and dignity, saying, "You should not treat your wife this way. You can talk to her nicely." But my husband said a lot of bad words to her. I felt so ashamed that I didn't go to group study for the next two days. On the third morning, Practitioner C, the son of Practitioner A, encouraged me when we met. But Practitioner B told me that on the second day of the incident, Practitioner A passed out while she was working. Her situation was so bad that she didn't eat anything for three days. I could not stop my tears after I heard this news. My attachment caused Practitioner A's tribulation. At the same time, I really appreciated Practitioner C's kindness to me. After visiting Practitioner A, I was deeply moved. I realized that I should get rid of my human notions and attachments, study the Fa, look inwards, and correct myself so that I could walk the path Master arranged for me. With practitioners' help, I went to study the Fa that night. I sent righteous thoughts intensively to eliminate my attachments of fear of persecution, the mentality of saving face, jealousy, the competitive mentality, resentment and unbalance, and to eliminate all the evil factors controlling my husband. Ever since then, I have been able to participate the group study without interference.

Now, my family environment is better, and everyone supports my practicing Dafa. My mother-in-law always reminds me to send righteous thoughts on time. Sometimes they even change our meal time to accommodate the time of sending forth righteous thoughts. My husband also reminds me. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law no longer disturb me since they saw how I changed. "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while transformation of gong is done by one's master." (Zhuan Falun) After eliminating these human notions and the fear, I did better on Fa-rectification work. I work with other practitioners to download Minghui Weekly, help people withdraw from the CCP (Chinese communist party) and its affiliates on the Internet, install Dafa music and Master's lectures on MP3 players, and have truth-clarification materials with me whenever I go out to save the predestined sentient beings. By now, I have persuaded more than 200 two hundred people to withdraw from the CCP, but I should do better compared to other diligent practitioners.

Conclusion

I was not qualified to be a practitioner. From the time the persecution began until 2003, I never studied the Fa or did the exercises at home and was only able to do some at work during my spare time. From 2004 to 2008, although I did some work on Fa rectification and saving sentient beings, due to my poor family environment, I could not devote myself to saving sentient beings one hundred percent.

I have talked about the lessons I learned from my cultivation experience as a practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. If our human notions cannot be eliminated for a long period of time, we will experience tribulations we should not encounter and cause damage to our work in saving sentient beings.

While writing this sharing, I have gained a clearer understanding of some Fa principles and gotten rid of some human mentalities. Please point out anything inappropriate.