Years ago, when I started practising Falun Dafa, it was not because of illness. Rather, I heard people telling me that practising Falun Dafa could make one young, beautiful and healthy. Later, after I studied Master's scripture “Toward Consummation,” I thought I had found my fundamental attachment: the desire to be young and beautiful.
After studying the Fa more, I realized that my original motivation of wanting to be young and beautiful was based on lust. Since then, I have been working very hard to get rid of this attachment.
Just when I thought I had pretty much cultivated the problem away, I observed two things about myself. First, I was concentrating on reading the Fa with an attractive voice, especially when I was at group study. I hoped other practitioners would praise my voice. Since I focused on my voice too much, I couldn't concentrate on the meaning of the Fa. Second, so long as there was at least one male practitioner at the group study, I'd become quite mindful of my looks.
I didn't pay much attention to these as they seemed to be trivial matters. However, when I was studying the Fa today with other practitioners, one question popped up in my mind, “Do I look beautiful today?” It startled me.
After I returned home, I related today's sudden question to my recent observations. I realized that those were all the manifestation of lust.
I was surprised. For so many years, I had been struggling to overcome lust, but so far I have merely cultivated the surface and haven't even touched the root. I have now found the root, and it is precisely that root of lust that was my original motivation for practicing Dafa. For years, as I was ignorant of this fundamental attachment, the lust just kept resurfacing.
I understood I was in a very dangerous situation because the old forces are very picky and harsh on every practitioner. Without Master's compassionate protection, I can't imagine what would have happened to me. Today, Master enlightened me again and guided me to find my deepest hidden attachment. I understood that even though I didn't engage in any sexual relationship, lust on one's mind is still lust.
I started to send forth righteous thoughts and asked Master to help me eliminate this fundamental attachment, as well as to cleanse the demon of lust and rotten evil spirits in other dimensions. I felt an energy coming from Master and saw a body in another dimension removed from me and destroyed.
I'm sharing this with others because I wanted to remind other practitioners that cultivation practice is very serious. Don't be ruined by the low level demon of lust.
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