New Light Has Come to My Cultivation and Letting Go of Self

Greetings, venerable Master. Greetings, fellow practitioners.

I am a cultivator who had the opportunity to obtain Dafa in 2000, and I have been working for the Clearharmony Turkey website for eleven years. Just like many other practitioners, I have experienced numerous miracles throughout my cultivation. I've always felt Master's compassion.

I'd like to share with you an event that was a turning point for me.

A Dream and a New Beginning
One evening, when I started to read Zhuan Falun from the beginning in 2017, I felt my body become very warm, and I had a dream that night. I was pregnant in my dream and my husband was helping me to give birth. While I was sitting, I saw a baby on my lap, and my laptop was on my knees. I was playing 'Pudu' and 'Jishi' music to the baby, while at the same time I was busy translating for Clearharmony on the laptop. The baby always smiled as if he had understood what I was saying.

I woke up at the time of sending forth righteous thoughts in the morning, and then told my dream to my husband. I had a suspicious feeling, so after my husband went to work the next day, I did a pregnancy test, and the result was positive.

I was pregnant and in shock. It was a very difficult situation for me to accept. I was afraid that I could not do the three things that Maser asks us to do. I was worried. I looked down on myself and was ashamed. Everything was overturned for me. I hoped that something would take the baby away from inside of me. I knew this thought was not right, but I could not stop thinking that way. Finally, I had no choice but to accept my pregnancy. In fact, all these thoughts that appeared in my mind were a reflection of my powerful attachments.

Even though I was in the very early stages of pregnancy, I talked with the baby with all my heart. I asked him not to create difficulties for me, and told him that I was a cultivator and that we could do everything together and cultivate to return to our real homes, together with Master.

I had a very comfortable pregnancy. However, I was sometimes tested. One of the tests during my pregnancy was my reading ordinary people's websites about the monthly development process of pregnancy. I once read an article saying, "This month, the nose bleeds can take place." Soon after that, I had a bit of a nosebleed, and told my practitioner husband that according to the article I read on the Internet, it was normal to experience it that month.

Afterwards, I frequently got nosebleeds. It even took place while I was dining with my husband's family. Without revealing what was happening to them, I got up from the table immediately and tried to stop the bleeding. This was the second time I experienced heavy bleeding. I didn't care about it the first time it happened, but I suddenly awoke after the second time. I reminded myself that I was a practitioner and that I should not have experienced such a thing. I had strong righteous thoughts in my mind, and never had a nosebleed again.

In spite of a fellow practitioner's warning about not reading ordinary people's websites on this topic, I did not take it to heart. By imposing these things upon myself, I had lowered my own level to that of ordinary people. I learned a lesson from this, and never followed ordinary people's websites again.

During my pregnancy, I went to other countries to see Shen Yun twice. When I was about eight months pregnant, I flew long distance to the United States to participate in the New York Fa Conference. Throughout my pregnancy, I was able to do the three things that a practitioner needs to do, as if I was not pregnant.

Everything depends on us in the process of our cultivation. If we do not see ourselves at the standard of a practitioner and become distant to cultivation practice and practitioners—and even create excuses not to be part of the cultivation environment—we can fall behind in the process of Fa-rectification, and even part with cultivation. During the cultivation process, our belief in Dafa and Master is tested all the time, and we must be alert at every moment.

I went through my entire pregnancy and birth without any medication or vitamins, because of my belief in Master and Dafa. At the birth, I only listened to 'Pudu' and 'Jishi', and repeated the words "Falun Dafa Hao," "Master Hao," and "Zhen-Shan-Ren Hao." And once my baby was born, I whispered these words in his ear again.

Clearharmony Turkey
Despite the pain of post-natal birth and insomnia, I continued to translate for Clearharmony two days after returning home from the hospital. I was one of two people responsible for the website, and could not be lax because predestined lives and practitioners were waiting, and I was responsible to them.

Master said: “I think that you should, first of all, realize the importance of a Dafa website’s effect. This site is created to clarify the truth, to expose the evil’s persecution, and to save the world’s people. Also, you should realize the effect media has on the general public. It is extremely important in terms of people learning the truth about Dafa, saving the world’s people, and exposing the evil; and, its influence is enormous.” (Essentials for Further Advancement II, “To the Clear Harmony Website of Europe”)

Sometimes when I was translating, in order to complete the article, I continued to translate with one hand while holding my son with the other. I needed to use my time well. I never stopped translating for Clearharmony during pregnancy and after giving birth.

Throughout all these years with my sense of responsibility and my heart for saving lives through Clearharmony, I was able to remain steadfast against the deterrent human excuses. I know that I vowed in the past to save lives in this way and that Clearharmony is a part of me. Whatever project we are working for, we must give our hearts to our projects, and give our best for them.

My Attachments
Before my son was born, I had deeply-rooted attachments to comfort, being self-centred, laziness and wanting to sleep. But after my son was born, these attachments were challenged. It was as if I was being forced to let go of them.

In my cultivation practice, I always saw my son as an obstacle. I thought that he would interfere with my doing the three things and participating in Dafa activities. In reality however, I was selfishly blaming him; I was constantly looking outward and finding excuses for my attachments that I could not let go of.

Master said: “Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely with your human side.” (Essentials for Further Advancement I, “Expounding on the Fa”)

Master also said: “Do you realize that as long as you’re a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across—even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are—to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated, for your improvement is what’s most important.” (Essentials for Further Advancement I, “Further Understanding”)

Participating in Activities With My Son
We participated in the local July 20 activity with my son. This was his first activity, and even though we live in the Czech Republic, I clarified the facts to a few Turkish people that day and collected signatures for the petition to stop the persecution.

One day, the Tian Guo Marching Band came to Prague, to participate in a Dafa activity there. My husband was one was one of the lion dance performers. While we were walking to the activity, I said to my husband that I felt sad and strange because in previous activities, I was normally carrying a banner or doing other things, but this time, I was pushing my baby. My husband said that this was my sentimentality.

When we arrived at the activity site, practitioners began to take their places to do the exercises. I was watching them on the side. Then an elderly practitioner came and said that she could take care of my baby so that I could do the exercises. I was very happy. Master sent a practitioner to help me. I immediately sat down with other practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts, during which time my son fell asleep. Just after that, I asked this elderly practitioner to join us.

I was able to do the first three sets of exercises before my son woke up. Then I went to the back of the area to feed my son. A passing child said to her family, "What a sweet baby!" They were Turkish. They came to a foreign country and found me. I was thus able to clarify the truth to them and they signed the petition.

Afterwards, the parade started. I was at the very back. My baby bag was filled with flyers in different languages. I used the pushchair as a flyer desk and handed out flyers to people during the parade. I was even able to hand out flyers to a few Chinese people, which they accepted with a smile. Along the way, I was hearing Turkish being spoken, so I immediately went to them to give them some flyers.

Now, a certain period has closed and a new one has opened for me. It was a good activity for me beyond my expectations, and Master clearly showed me that my initial thought was wrong. Actually, everything is up to us. When we have a pure heart and really want to cultivate and save lives, Master creates opportunities for us.

Master said: “You have already made it through the most difficult time. So as for your last attachment, you must be sure to let go of it. I know all of the suffering of my disciples. The truth is, I treasure you more than you treasure yourselves!” (Essentials for Further Advancement II, “Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)”)

We went to Paris last year for the European Fa Conference. During the activity there, which took place under the Eiffel Tower, I took my son and started to hand out flyers to passersby. A smile appeared on the faces of the passing Chinese after seeing me and my son. I didn't manage to give any flyers to the Chinese that day, but when they passed by, I said, "Falun Dafa Hao" with all my heart. I hope that I was able to access their knowing sides, and maybe even help in their salvation.

My son has a different energy. He attracts people to himself. Sometimes, Chinese people start talking to us about our son without knowing that we are cultivators, and on those occasions, we can tell them about Dafa and give them flyers.

We were also able to go to Paris this year to watch Shen Yun. I can now understand better that everything I feared and worried about before was actually originating from my attachments to my own self interests.

My son was a new page for me on my cultivation path. I let go of my ego with him step by step. Furthermore, I raise my son in compliance with the teachings of Master and the principles of Dafa—like a cultivator.

When I translate articles, I turn on Master's audio lectures for him to listen to. I am responsible for him. It is no longer about me, but him. He also listens when my husband and I study the Fa together. Sometimes, it seems like he creates an obstacle, but the environment is actually created by us. Because of this, we are better able to look within and see him as our mirror. With each passing day, he amazes us a bit more.

As practitioners, we should not give rein to ordinary everyday jobs, nor use the excuse of being tired, busy, or raising our children, and use it as an excuse to keep away from the cultivation environment, the Dafa activities, and practitioners. We should not forget that they are children of cultivators, and they, too, came to obtain the Fa. We, like all life, are also accountable to them.

I also have a better understanding of the importance of sharing with practitioners, the cultivation environment, and supporting each other. We must know the value of them and hold firmly to our cultivation environment.

Venerable Master, there are no words to express my gratitude to You. I hope that I can be a cultivator worthy of You and return to my true home by fulfilling the vows I made.