Once I was sharing my cultivation experiences with a fellow practitioner when he told me that he still had various kinds of attachments, and that in many aspects he didn’t do well. He expressed a lack of confidence in cultivation because he knew his cultivation state was not right. He seemed frustrated and depressed. This was not the first time that he showed such a cultivation state. Every time when I exchanged experiences with him, he reiterated those words and blamed himself for not doing well all the time. On several occasions, he even mentioned that ‘he could no longer continue cultivating.”’ In my view, however, this practitioner strove forward quite diligently. He handled a lot of activities, most of which was done well. However, it looked as though cultivating was a hardship for him.
When I examined this practitioner’s situation with a peaceful mind, I noticed that whenever this practitioner exchanged cultivation experiences with others or searched inwards, he became trapped in extreme self-criticism. I have never heard him say what he had done well. It made me recall that I had encountered the same problem in the past: In the process of searching inwards, I went astray on many occasions. The searching-inwards turned into examining issues from a negative perspective.
Fox example, I often belittled my own merits and saw only the areas where I failed to do well. Instead of grasping the time to cultivate over again and do well in future, when I realised my attachments or shortcomings, I was trapped in pessimism and self-criticism. If there was something that I didn’t do well in or a certain aspect was insufficient, I arbitrarily considered myself as “failing to cultivate well”. I can give more examples of this: I could not see fellow practitioners’ merits. All that I saw was their faults and attachments. This made me feel very uncomfortable. I even held prejudiced views instead of trusting my fellow practitioners for an extended period of time. In fact, practitioners are people who are cultivating. Through continuous improvement of their levels, they will do well eventually.
Searching inwards is totally different from habitually examining things from a negative perspective.
Searching inwards is not equivalent to just looking at our own shortcomings and all kinds of faults. Another form of searching inwards is to identify our own merits that we have cultivated so that we can keep up and improve. It has the same effect of enhancing our confidence in cultivation. A cultivator always has shortcomings. If he invariably looks at the negative side and neglects the positive, his confidence in striving forward will be hindered. The evil may arrange or transform the negative side for him to see. The purpose being to thwart his confidence and ultimately to destroy him. Examining issues only from the negative side will also cause us to see practitioners’ shortcomings and attachments only, while neglecting their merits.
Searching inwards is not blindly scrutinising ourselves either; instead, its purpose is to identify shortcomings so that we can improve ourselves, and do things better. Excessive self-criticism or blaming ourselves for what we fail to do well may temporarily soothe our hearts. However, it may impact a practitioner’s righteous thoughts and self-confidence. A person who criticises himself excessively is also very likely to blame others.
In cultivation, we should examine issues from the positive side and look inside rationally.
Isn’t it good that we find our attachments in certain aspects? It would be impossible for us to improve ourselves if we did not know our own attachments. In the book 《Zhuan Falun》, it is mentioned that some people describe themselves as “having a bad temper”. It is useless to fret about or blame our bad temper. Master tells us that, ‘f your temper is not good, you should change it.’ After identifying our own attachments, we should enhance Fa-study, pay attention to xinxing cultivation and willingly get rid of our attachments.
When we see the attachments and shortcomings of other practitioners, our attitudes should also be positive. Whenever we see problems in a practitioner, we can tell him compassionately so that he can improve his level. Even if he doesn’t accept or recognise the problems temporarily, we should believe with righteous thoughts that through continuous study of the teachings of Falun Gong and our character-cultivation, he will do well and improve his level very quickly. Believing in other practitioners is also an embodiment of our righteous thoughts about the Fa [law or principles in the Buddha school.
Whenever we fail to do well, we should just make sure that we don’t make the same mistakes in the future. Often if our hearts are pure we may be given the chance to do well again in future. On one occasion, there was a problem with my student visa. I went to the university student centre and asked for help from a clerk. I took advantage of the opportunity to clarify the facts about Falun Gong. Because I was asking her for help, my xinxing [moral character/heart nature] was not stable. My explanations were a little confusing, and I did not touch on many of the critical points of the truth clarification. I felt very frustrated. Several days later, I saw her again. I dropped the mentality of feeling embarrassed and the worry that she might be very busy. The second time I talked about the persecution of Falun Gong and what Falun Gong is I was much better. More information was passed to her. However, I still felt I had not clarified the truth sufficiently and clearly. Where was the problem? I looked inwards and analysed the matter clear-headedly. I found the reason was that I had clarified the truth with the unwitting purpose of obtaining a visa. I thought I should go to see her again. However, in the first two interviews, I had used up all the reasons why I had to the see her. I didn’t know which method I could use to meet her again. Moreover, I didn’t know if she still had the patience to talk to me for the third time? I told myself that I shouldn’t think too much about it. My sole purpose was to clarify the truth to her. Therefore, I thought up of a reason arbitrarily and went to see her for the third time. There was no personal interest this time, and I prepared myself beforehand. I showed her some photos which illustrated the persecution of fellow practitioners. I explained the situation sentence by sentence patiently. The contents and the timing of the dialogue were within my control. The effect was excellent. She did not show any impatience. She was glad and I was glad, too.
Teacher said: “It’s not a big deal if you haven’t done well. Just do things well next time and try to find out where the problem was. There’s an obvious phenomenon in your cultivation, which is, after you haven’t done something well, you’re only overwhelmed with regret, and you don’t do it over again. If you regret it too much then it’s an attachment. Once you’ve done something wrong, seen where it was wrong, and recognised it, then do it well next time. If you trip and fall, and just keep lying there, (audience laughs) then that’s no good.” Explaining the Fa at the 2003 U.S. West Fa Conference and Lantern Festival.
When there is something that we fail to do well, we don’t need to waste time in self-criticism. We should get up from where we tripped and fell, and try again. If we don’t do well again, we can repeat it another time. How could it be possible that we never do it well? Through this process, we are cultivating and our character is improving.Maybe all of us have experienced that on many occasions when we proceed in our cultivation and complete something well, it seems all the people and the environment has been waiting for our improvement, waiting for us to accomplish the task so that they would have the opportunities to be saved.
I think practitioners should strive to examine and resolve issues from a positive perspective no matter what they encounter.
This is my personal understanding. Due to the restriction of my level, there may be improprieties and mistakes. Fellow practitioners’ correction and comments would be appreciated.
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