France: A Practitioner who had gone Astray exposes the Indecent Conduct of China's National Security Bureau

Beginning my cultivation practice:

I obtained the Fa in Changchun in 1996, when I was in my first year of senior high school. During the summer holidays I went back to my hometown and met a friend. Chatting with me, my friend mentioned Falun Gong. I raised my doubts about Gods, Buddhas and the idea of cultivation practice, many of which had been in my mind for a long time. My friend spent over two hours answering each of my questions in detail. Finally she gave me a book, Zhuan Falun. After getting the book, I could not help but keep reading it. It provided answers to many of my doubts and revealed to me a previously unknown world. I spent two whole days finishing the book. Then my friend started to teach me the five sets of Falun Gong exercises and brought me to the practice site in Jilin Industrial University to practise the exercises and study the Fa as a group. All the practitioners I encountered at the practice site were so friendly and warm - they were just like family members. In such a harmonious environment I stepped onto the path of cultivation.

After returning to Shanghai, I found the practice site in East China Normal University and went there every morning to practise exercises and every evening to attend group Fa-study and to exchange personal understandings of cultivation with others. In 1998 I took the college entrance exam and was admitted to the University of Science and Technology in Shanghai. At that time some of the first year students had their studies in the Minhang Campus. Due to my willingness to help others, I was naturally elected as the class leader and the became the chairperson of the Student Union of Minhang Campus. All the students in Minghang Campus were first years, and there was no practice site. So, I practised exercises and studied the Fa in the practice site of Shanghai Jiaotong University.

My personal experiences after July 20th 1999:

On July 20th 1999, I made an appeal for Falun Gong together with other practitioners in the People's Square. I was the only student from the University of Science and Technology in Shanghai to make an appeal for Falun Gong and my name was unlawfully recorded.

On July 21st and 22nd, 1999, the school's security section and the consultant had a talk with me and our talk was formally recorded.

At the end of July, 1999, three fellow practitioners and I appealed for Falun Gong at the headquarters of Beijing Youth.

In August and September, 1999, the school authorities spoke with me many times. I expressed my firm determination to continue with my cultivation.

In November 1999, as the only student in the university who insisted on continuing to practise cultivation, I was forced to attend brainwashing classes for almost twenty days. After I guaranteed not to visit Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong any more, I was permitted to attend my classes again.

In March, 2000, I worked on a draft version of "A Lawsuit Against the People's Republic of China for Its Violations of the Constitution", which I planned to submit to the High Court during the National People's Congress Conference and the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference. But for some reason the draft was not submitted to the High Court. I was subsequently detained in Wen Bao police station for one month and was later imprisoned in the First Detention Centre in Shanghai (where convicts sentenced to death or life sentences were jailed); later I was bailed out pending further judgement.

In November, 2000, my fellow practitioners and I handed out Dafa truth materials in Liang Cheng Xin village in Shanghai but were reported to the police by some misguided person. I was imprisoned in the detention centre in Hongkou area and was sentenced to one year in a labour camp without trial.

After the Chinese New Year of 2001, I was transferred to Dafen First Labour Camp in Jiangsu Province, where I failed to endure coercion during the persecution and was interfered with in many ways. For example: I was subjected to military training as a kind of physical punishment for long periods; I was forced to sit on a bench in a fixed position for a long time; I was deprived of sleep at night; I was threatened by inmates; my family were arranged to visit me [to encourage me to give up my belief]; I was forced to read vicious propaganda and the articles by former practitioners who had "enlightened" along a wicked path. Unable to eliminate my attachments, I too "enlightened" along a wicked path. I had the following wrong thoughts: that it was the "arrangement" on my path of cultivation to give in to evil and to accept "re-education;" that I was supposed to accept the "laws and regulations" of the evil; that I should not oppose the government. After I developed these wrong understandings I cooperated with the evil people to help brainwash my fellow practitioners. When I was imprisoned in the labour camp, the staff from the Security Bureau in Shanghai came to speak with me, asking me whether I would be willing to do some things for the government after my "re-education." With my incorrect enlightenment, I agreed.

In June, 2001, I was released from the labour camp earlier than my original sentence, and returned to school to complete my course. (In March, 2000, I was forced out of school after my arrest and release.) Haunted by the unhappy memories of forced labour and brainwashing in the labour camp, I did not continue to study the Fa after regaining my freedom. I was unwilling to mention cultivation and had the thought of postponing my cultivation. When a fellow practitioner gave me Master's new articles, I was unwilling to read them. Because many of my classes were postponed for almost two semesters, I decided to focus all my attention on my studies in the hope of getting my diploma. At the end of October /start of November, 2001, the Security Bureau staff that had talked to me in the labour camp found me and asked me to do them a favour. (After my release from the labour camp, they often came to chat with me or treated me to a meal to see whether I was thinking of continuing my cultivation. Then they would instill into me distorted thoughts such as: ‘Dafa is supported by some overseas power,’ or ‘Dafa receives money from foreign governments to oppose the Chinese government’.) They asked if I would be willing to do something for them; they also promised to help me get my diploma if I could get the job done.

My incorrect understanding at that time was that it was a "good thing" to do something for the government and to help those “infatuated” with cultivation to wake up. Besides, it could help me to get my diploma. So I promised to help them. Then they told me what I was supposed to do: One of the National Security Bureau staff in Shanghai pretended, on the Internet, that he was a Dafa practitioner studying in Tongji University, and got in touch with another practitioner from Three Northeast Provinces of China studying in Tongji University. The sham practitioner from the National Security Bureau planned to recommend me to go to a practice site in the Northeast Provinces. Theoretically, I was going there to help the practice site set up a connection centre via the Internet and to print out materials. In fact, I went there for the purpose of collecting information. The Security Bureau told me that I was to go there to learn of the situation of that practice site and to see if there was any foreign capital there or whether they had received any instructions from abroad. The Security Bureau considered me the appropriate person to do the job because I was studying in the university in Shanghai, I had lived in the Northeast Provinces, also I had studied the Fa for several years, and knew how to use the Internet. In my mind I had always been curious about this kind of job. Under such circumstances, I didn’t even think it was wrong to do this.

Later they brought me back to my hometown in Changchun. Besides, they bought me a brand-new Dell notebook computer, a new cell phone, and also a beeper. In the first few days, they also let me read Master's new articles so that I could "perform my job better." With different purposes in my mind, I just took a casual look at Master's new articles. Then, the local practitioners in Changchun called me for a meeting (this was one of the arrangements made by the Security Bureau). Before our meeting, I was given a belt equipped with a listening device. The local practitioners came to meet me to learn how I had obtained the Fa and the process of my cultivation after July 20, 1999. I answered all their questions, but purposefully avoided talking about how I had "enlightened" along a wicked path in the labour camp. Because one local practitioner in charge of maintaining the computer system was arrested not long ago, they were in bad need of someone who knew how to use the Internet. Upon learning of my situation, the practitioners planned to bring me to Nongan County several days later.

After the Security Bureau was informed of this, they allowed me to go to Nongan County and sent several cars and over ten staff to privately "protect" (monitor) me. They also told me that they would locate me through their device. (I did not specifically understand how they located me, maybe through some device installed in the laptop computer.) In their process of "protecting" me, I noticed that they kept changing cars and had different people follow me; this situation continued until I left Changchun.

After I arrived at the practice site in Nongan County, I again returned to an environment formed by practitioners. Listening to everyone's personal understanding of cultivation, listening to how one practitioner got out of the evil Huanxiling Labour Camp in Jilin City with his righteous thoughts and actions, and with his noble belief in Dafa and Master, I could sense the gap between myself and other practitioners because I had not studied the Fa for over one year. Later when I watched the VCD about the truth of the self-immolation in Tiananmen Square, I felt shocked. I stayed in Nongan County for a few days. The practitioners there explained some matters concerning internet security and the secret way of contacting the Minghui website through e-mail so that I could contribute some articles. After that, the practitioners arranged for me to go to the practice site in Songyuan City, where I was to be responsible for editing the truth clarification materials, using the internet, and contributing articles to Minghui. I stayed in a fixed practice site instead of travelling around to different sites. Every day I studied the Fa, exchanged personal understandings of cultivation, and practised the exercises with others at the practice site. Gradually and imperceptibly I began to consider myself a practitioner again. When typing practitioners' articles about their understanding of cultivation, at the same time I was cracking the shell formed by my deviated notions and my "enlightenment" along a wicked path. At that time Liu Chengjun (who assumed the pseudonym "Dayong") often came to the site to take truth materials. (Not until I went abroad and read an article by a fellow practitioner did I know that he was the same "Dayong.") Mr. Liu told us of his personal experiences and his understanding of Fa-rectification. He had walked through several layers of iron gates to get out of a labour camp. Later the labour camp was afraid of shouldering the responsibility for an escape and sent to his home "the notification of his release from the labour camp."

The environment at the practice site, the fellow practitioners' righteous thoughts and the power of Dafa were beckoning me to return to Dafa. Imperceptibly, I was making efforts to edit the truth materials, print out the articles on Minghui, and teach the fellow practitioners how to use the Internet.

During this period of time, the Security Bureau had not met me for almost one week. They just called me every day or two, telling me not to stay in a fixed practice site and to walk around to learn more about the situations of other sites. But I still remained in the fixed site. In their last phone calls, they asked me to tell the other practitioners that I was planning to leave because something had happened to my family in Shanghai, so that they could arrange a meeting to give me some instructions. Meanwhile, another practitioner in the practice site had just learned how to use the Internet and was getting very good at editing the materials. The fellow practitioners suggested that I leave. I told them that I planned to leave two days later. When I left them, I felt bitterness in my heart. The people who had stayed with me day and night did not know my real identity. And my righteous thoughts to return to the path of cultivation were also calling me. I felt sad.

After my meeting with the Security Bureau staff, they thought that I had stayed in the same site for a very long time, afraid that some thoughts might have formed in my mind, and that I might "be converted" (that is, wake up to my righteous enlightenment) they arranged for me to stay in Shanghai for several days. Back in the environment of everyday people, my attachments to fame, fortune, and emotion returned to me and the wrong understanding that came with my “transformation” in the labour camp came back to my mind. The Security Bureau staff instilled into me the importance of national security and political stability. At that time I told myself, "I still want to continue my cultivation, but I can not fight against my country just because of my wish to cultivate. I should not destabilise the country. What my fellow practitioners are doing is wrong."

When the Security Bureau staff thought that they had successfully brainwashed me, I returned to Changchun. This time they did not allow me to go back to the practice site in Songyuan City. Instead they asked me to visit more nearby counties to get more understanding of different sites. So another practitioner, whom I had been acquainted with in Nongan County, and I went to another county to exchange our personal understanding with other practitioners and to teach them how to use the internet.

We had just visited about two places, when something happened with the Security Bureau. Li Rongqing the previously mentioned practitioner who had been studying in Tongji University had jumped from the second floor of a building and escaped from the guard of the Changchun Security Bureau. The Security Bureau wanted me to go back to Nongan County to enquire about his whereabouts. When I had been staying in Songyuan City, the practitioners there often sent forth righteous thoughts in the hope that he would get out of the labour camp. To my surprise, he really did get out of the labour camp. After listening to this news, once again, I felt the magical power of Dafa.

I returned to the practice site in Nongan County. The practitioners there knew nothing about Li's getting out of the labour camp and told me that the practising site in Songyuan City was badly in need of my help. Thus I returned to Songyuan City. One female practitioner in Songyuan City got a call from Li Rongqing, telling her that he was in need of help. He had fractured his legs when jumping down from the second floor. The other practitioners had already arranged for him to stay in some place in Changchun. So I went to Changchun with this female practitioner. When the Security Bureau was informed of the news, they asked me to bring Li to my home so that I could handle the situation better. I brought Li to my home to convalesce. The Security Bureau had installed a listening device in my home when I was away. I learned from Li how to contact the editors of Minghui and started to send articles to the Minghui editors. Shortly after that, the Security Bureau told me that the practice site in Songyuan City had already been searched by the police; the practitioners there were arrested, with serious damage being done. In my mind I felt uneasy, ashamed and bitter because I had betrayed my fellow practitioners. After the site in Songyuan City was searched, one of the arrested practitioners was unable to endure the inquisition by torture and thus disclosed the addresses of some other sites. I was also told that more things were confiscated from the other sites. I felt that it was I who had brought so much damage to the Fa. As a spy, I did not know how to face Li and the other practitioners around me. Once when I was out, Li and the other practitioner got the message of my real identity from somewhere, and thus hurried out of my home. But the Security Bureau staff were upstairs and downstairs monitoring them. No sooner had they got into a rented car than they were arrested.

The Security Bureau thought that there was no more work for me to do and that my mission was over (After I left, I did not have a very clear picture of their wrongdoing). I left Changchun with a sense of guilt. They arranged for me to take a trip to Hainan and they paid the bill. Their purpose was to let me forget my sense of guilt and to have me continue to "work" for them. After I came back from my trip, they awarded me with 10,000 dollars for my good performance. They planned to ask me to contact the Minghui editors via e-mail to get information about Dafa. However, part of me (mostly my human conscience) came to understand the truth. I knew that I should not continue to do anything for them. I used my family's disagreement and my studies as excuses to refuse their offers. Gradually I lost touch with them. I thought that I had done something wrong and felt there was no more hope in my life. Unable to continue my cultivation, I decided to try to be a good person among everyday people and found a job However, sometimes I still read Master's new articles as published on Minghui because in my heart there was still a deep longing for Dafa. After I got my new job, the Security Bureau staff would keep in touch with me every month or two just like "friends," treating me to a meal or buying me some tea.

After reading Master's Fa-lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference, I was in tears. I knew that Master still wanted me to come back. I felt that I had failed Master's expectations. Afterwards, I started to exchange my personal understanding of cultivation with individual practitioners whom I was familiar with. At the bottom of my heart there was a strong longing to return to Dafa, but strong attachments were deterring me. Being haunted by the memories of having been arrested and tortured for some time, I felt it hard to stand up again for Dafa and to turn over a new leaf. At that time I was thinking about going abroad. Staying in China, I would be very unlikely to walk out to face the evil and to tell people of my desire to continue my cultivation. I could miss the precious opportunity that I had waited for for thousands of years.

After the Security Bureau staff learned that I was considering going abroad, they showed no disapproval and asked me if I needed any help. I did not ask them for any help. I arranged everything for myself. I did my job, while learning a foreign language, taking the exam and applying for the university. When applying for my passport, there was a problem. On the day I was supposed to have my passport returned, the public security section in charge of issuing passports kept me waiting in a small room upstairs. After a long period of time, one official made up an excuse, telling me that my passport was not yet ready because there were too many applicants. They asked me to wait and also enquired about the unit I worked for. I could feel that the delay was because of my record in the national security section. Once again the Security Bureau told me that the reason for my not getting my passport was because of my record of practising Falun Gong. They told me that they would negotiate about the problem and help me to get my passport as long as I promised to continue to help them. When I got my visa and was ready to go abroad, the Security Bureau found me again, and tried to persuade me to keep in contact with them and to keep them informed. In order to go abroad, I compromised with them, promising to keep in touch with them and to provide them with information. They jokingly warned me, "We are not afraid that you will be 'converted' and start your cultivation again. Dafa certainly will not want you any more because of your previous doings." They wanted me to take everything easy and to concentrate on my studies after I went abroad. Then they gave me no further instruction. Before I left China, they offered me a name list of some practitioners in France and Germany, acquainting me with their names. (At that time I did not feel like remembering their names. Now there is just one name I can still remember. On the name list there were just two or three French practitioners, but more from Germany.) They offered me U.S. $1,000. At that time I felt that I would be obliged to do something for them as long as I took their money. I was determined not to take the money. So I refused their offer.

When I had just arrived in France, they sent me several e-mail messages and called me twice, asking me about my school life and studies here, trying to keep in touch with me, without asking me to offer them information about Dafa. At first, I just tried to give them some ambiguous answers and found excuses not to contact them. But through continuous Fa-study and exchanging my personal understandings with my other practitioners, I came to understand that I could not cooperate with the evil any more. Even to contact them was exactly what the old forces hoped for. It would also be shameful humiliating and dishonourable for a Dafa practitioner. Later when they sent e-mails to me again, I cared nothing about it and did not reply.

However, I have always been haunted by the memories of my previous wrongdoing which have brought me huge mental burdens and seriously interfered with my cultivation. In the process of writing this article, some of my attachments have kept returning to me, and the dark minions have caused interference. When I encountered obstacles and interference, I studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts. With the help of Master and the encouragement of fellow practitioners, I finally finished the article about my previous experiences. Now having cast off my old self, I have a feeling of rebirth. When looking at my "enlightenment" along a wicked path and my wrongdoing in coordinating with the evil, it seems as if I am looking at another person. To thank Master for his mercy and for the second chance I have been given, all I can do is to double my efforts to validate the Fa and progress with diligence. Walking on my path of validating the Fa, I will wipe out all my disgraces and assimilate myself to Dafa.

If there is anything improper, please be kind enough to correct me.