The Wish to Save Oneself Trouble is Selfish

Along the path of cultivation there are frequent opportunities or tests set up by Master to test our xinxing (or mind nature). Very often when I feel that I have been doing well in my study of the teachings of Falun Gong, I find myself suddenly confronted with a xinxing test.

One day, shortly after 7:00 a.m., a neighbour with whom I am on friendly terms called to see when my husband and I would be leaving for work and asked for a ride. I told her we would give her a ride, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking why her husband would not take her to work. (Her husband normally drops her off at work and picks her up from work.) She explained that he needed to leave earlier today. I then asked, “Where would you like to be dropped off?” When I learned that the destination was in the opposite direction of where we were going, I sounded hesitant. She detected my hesitation and suggested at once, “It doesn’t matter where you drop me off. You can drop me off wherever it is convenient for you, just as long as I can flag down a taxi from there.” At that time I could not quite understand the difficult situation that she was in. I even wondered, “It is pointless for us to give you a ride because we were driving into the opposite direction. If we drop you off at a location that would be difficult to find a taxi, we would create more trouble for you.”

When we met her, after a few words of greeting, I told her directly which route we would be taking. My husband was very polite and kind. He suggested we could opt for an alternative route. I jumped and exclaimed, “No way! We would hit a traffic jam if we take that route!” My husband pretended that he didn’t hear my protest and tried to ease her embarrassment by assuring her that it’s no big deal for us to be a few minutes late for work. As soon as we came on the open road, my friend saw several taxis and fled to catch a taxi right away.

After she left, my husband immediately scolded me. He told me that I was inconsiderate and lack tact. The surface explanation of my behaviour is that I am a straightforward person and take people’s words at their face values without giving a second thought. But this time I realised that it was a xinxing test for me. It came up so suddenly and caught me off guard. As a result, one of my attachments was revealed: I am attached to avoiding inconvenience and trouble for myself.

This attachment has been deep-seated within me for a long time. It becomes evident by the way I help others. I always think of myself first. If it doesn’t cost me much to help others, I will agree to help. If I need to go out of my way to help someone, I will try to come up with a solution that is easy for me while only solving the person’s problem partially. In my mind I call it a win-win situation because I’ve helped others and saved myself a lot of trouble. Now that I think of it, I have never put myself in others’ shoes.

Master has told us:

In providing salvation to humankind, the Buddha School does not attach any condition or seek returns, and it will help unconditionally. Accordingly, we can do many things for practitioners.
(From “Genuinely Guiding People Toward High Levels” in Lecture One of Zhuan Falun)

I felt ashamed! Why must I attach conditions or seek returns when I help others?

Master also tells us:

The basis before was self-serving, whereas everything forged by Dafa is not attached to self.
(From “Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference”)

The root cause of trying to avoid trouble is selfishness. I fear being taken advantage of or losing out over others. After I recalled the aforementioned passage of Master’s Fa [law or principles in Falun Gong], I felt that I would meet the standards of the new cosmos only if I remain diligent constantly, get rid of attachments, assimilate to Dafa completely, and purify myself. That is what we must do to conform to the following passage of the Fa.

...everything of yours that is pure and righteous will be what ensures that the colossal firmament has formation and stasis, but not destruction.
(From “Congratulatory Statement to the New York Fa Conference”)