Looking Inwards Rather than Outwards

Hello Master¹! Hello fellow practitioners!

My name is Jane and I live in Nottingham, England. Today I will summarise my cultivation path in order to improve my shortcomings so that I can do better in the future.

Even though I have cultivated for so many years, it was only recently that I found there was a fundamental attachment I had not eliminated, which I had covered with the golden shield of “actively taking part in activities”. Because I have worked in my company for a long time, my manager knows me quite well. So I have a privilege, that is I am allowed to take time off work when I need to so long as it will not interfere with my work. I am happy about my work because of this. One day I even showed off to a practitioner about how convenient it was for me to take time off work. The next time when I wanted to take time off work I ran into trouble. The manager would not allow me to take time off work for what ever reason and even accused me of lying. I immediately jumped up and argued with him that I was not lying and complained about him insulting my character. Afterwards when I looked inside myself, I was deeply regretful. When I was accused of lying, I jumped up to argue and forgot to behave according to the requirements of Dafa. This privilege given to me by my boss has been very convenient, enabling me to take part in Dafa activities. Yet I regarded it as my own property. When this privilege was taken away, I was unable to handle it well and I just complained and regarded it as interference. Master said in Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students:

“Regardless of whether it's the old forces' arrangements or karma, we should first of all examine ourselves. I ask you to cleanse yourselves first even when you send righteous thoughts. Look at yourself first, and if you discover that you have a problem, take care of it. With that the old forces won't be able to do anything; when they can't find anything to hold against you they will back off.”

I thought that I had taken the loss and gain with regards to image and self interest very lightly, but when I dug deeper, I realised that I should also have given up the losses and gains with regards to image and self interest involved in participating in Falun Gong activities. I have also realised that I have more tribulations when I have not studied the Fa² well. When I can do the three things³ better and have strong righteous thoughts I cannot be interfered with.

Last year, during the European Fa Conference in Geneva, a practitioner asked if I could coordinate the radio broadcasting work. I knew nothing in this area. I could see Master’s ingenious arrangement. I never liked being in charge of something. I can do a lot work, but I never liked being in charge because I was afraid that if I was in charge, then the focus would be on me if there was any conflict. In other words, I was afraid of exposing my attachment and always tried to conceal them.

When I realised my attachment I was again approached by that Falun Gong practitioner. This time I said yes, but I also told him that I knew nothing about broadcasting. He said: “It will be fine. You can get a few practitioners to help you and you can just coordinate it.” In the course of my coordination, I found that I had to personally edit the programme as a coordinator rather than just ask other practitioners to do it. If I didn’t it would be as if I were placing myself above the other practitioners. With the help of a practitioner, I learnt how to edit programmes. At the same time I also offered to help those practitioners who had just started to do radio broadcasting. Over this past year, I have constantly encouraged practitioners to join in the media work group. I feel every programme is an opportunity for practitioners. As a coordinator, I should be able to create opportunities for practitioners so that they can put their skills and abilities to better use. In the course of coordination, I needed to make a lot of phone calls to communicate with practitioners, to share the importance of media in Fa rectification which takes up a lot of my time. Sometimes I thought, “Won’t it be better if I were using this time to edit a programme?” I felt unbalanced. At this time I would remember Master’s teaching in Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students:

“In fact, a coordinator is someone who gathers people together, and he too is an ordinary cultivator; he's somebody who serves others and gives more of himself.”

Gradually I grew more tolerant and patient.

I realised that it is necessary and beneficial to watch news reports so as to gain a better understanding towards our media work, but I also realised that we can be influenced by such things without realising it. Therefore it is important to read the Fa. Those Falun Gong practitioners involved in the media group are maturing more and more through reading the Fa. Now we are able to broadcast for an hour every week in London.

When we were planning for the Edinburgh Festival Parade, some practitioners suggested that we have Buddhas, Taos and Gods on the float, which I too thought it was a good idea and so we started to prepare for the parade. Later, some practitioners said it may not be appropriate to show a western god. I thought it was reasonable and suggested having a group discussion. Some practitioners said that it is now time society knows that Falun Dafa is the law of the universe. They believed that the display of Buddhas, Taos and Gods on the float would help deliver this message. I felt this idea might be a little bit ahead of time, but I was not sure as I felt that it was still more important to show people the truth about Falun Gong with regards to the persecution that is talking place in China rather than allowing them to know the high-level principles involved in Falun Gong. If ordinary people could accept that Falun Dafa was the law of the universe then he/she was already cultivating. This is what I understood from the Fa. Due to different opinions, I suggested that we discussed this at our National Fa study. It was also the time of the Washington DC Fa Conference. I called a practitioner in America and asked him to ask Master a question if Master went to the conference, but I could not get hold of the practitioner. I knew I should try to enlighten to this myself.

Master said in Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Washington DC Fa Conference,

“I want to leave for you the opportunity to establish mighty-virtue. If I led you in doing something today, then that thing wouldn't have been done by you, and so you would have lost the chance to establish mighty-virtue. Meanwhile, as a Dafa disciple and a magnificent future Enlightened Being, when saving beings you should fully show your magnificence, your compassion, and your grandeur. That's why I want to give you plenty of chances to save the world's people, to save all beings, and let you do those things that you are supposed to do.”

I began to seriously think about this. I asked myself what the purpose is with regards to attending the parade. Attending the parade is to clarify the truth about Falun Gong to show the beauty of Falun Dafa thus drawing a sharp contrast to the brutal persecution. The purpose is clear and the answer was found. The float could be decorated beautifully. Buddhas, Taos and Gods could be displayed accordingly depending on the time and place. If the presentation of western Gods on the float could cause any confusion to people, then maybe it was better not to display them. We were going to introduce the practice of Falun Gong to people, not to teach them principles of the Buddha Law. When I was clear in my mind I was able to make the call to America. From this I understood that no matter what understanding it is, it has to be measured according to the Fa. We should be clear and rational about what we do and why we do it. If we just follow others without thinking, it is not being responsible to Dafa. Master has already said that cultivation is not just blindly following others.

Above is my sharing. If anywhere inappropriate, please kindly point it out. Finally I would like to use Master’s words at Teaching the Fa on Easter, 2004, at the New York Fa Conference:

“You need to treasure it--you have to treasure the path you've walked. Only when you treasure the steps you've taken can you do well on the path ahead. Not much of the journey is left. Do even better on your path and do things even more righteously”

Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!

Notes:

1. Master - Respectfully referring to the founder of Falun Gong Mr Li Hongzhi.
2. Fa - Universal law, the teachings of Falun Gong.
3. The three things that Master Li has asked Dafa practitioners to do are to study the Fa, to send forth righteous thoughts and to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and the persecution to the world's people.