I had an unsuccessful marriage. I also experienced the pain of being separated from my son. It was very hard for me to raise my daughter alone, especially in view of her eccentric and irritable personality. On top of all this, my body was tormented by numerous diseases, and I lost all hope toward life. Many times I thought of ending my life, but for the sake of my daughter, I felt I had to continue living in this human world.
April 20th, 1996, was a day I will never forget. It was on this day that I learned Falun Dafa. Later, my daughter learned it as well. The two of us bathed in the wonders of Falun Dafa, and our minds and bodies experienced great changes. For the first time in our lives, we experienced the happiness of living free of any illnesses.
Jiang Zemin and the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) however, tried to destroy Falun Dafa and in 1999 started to persecute Falun Dafa practitioners. In 2001, when I went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Dafa, I was "illegally arrested1" and held in a detention centre. The abominable living environment there severely damaged my mind and body. Because of this, my spirit totally crumbled. I did something I should not have done, said bad things about Falun Dafa and I felt terribly sorry toward Teacher. However, other Falun Dafa practitioners did not look down on me. Rather, they helped me in many ways and treated me with compassion.
I was sentenced to three years in prison and sent to the Dabei Prison in Liaoning Province. During this period of time, I had no righteous thoughts. I was sinking deeper and deeper into the mud pit of deviant thoughts. Each night I had one nightmare after another. One night, shortly after I had fallen asleep, I heard what seemed to be my mother's voice saying, "The consequence you're facing is being thrown into hell!" I was very frightened and realised that I was wrong to have given in to the evildoers and said bad things against Falun Dafa. So the next time I went outside to work at forced labour, I cried out loudly, "Falun Dafa is a righteous practice!" Two male prison guards, Gao Jie and Li Guang, immediately started to kick and punch me, grabbing my head and smashing it into a wall. But every day I continued to cry out, "Falun Dafa is good!"
The prison guards did not allow me to go to the toilet; many times I soiled my trousers. In the winter, they forced me to sit on the cement floor and tied me up with ropes every day. Whenever I cried out, male prisoners, including Li Jing, would beat me fiercely. They forced my mouth open and stuffed it with rags or with my own socks, which they had taken off my feet. Then they used bandages to gag me. They also pulled my hair to the point that much of it came out. Every day I was forced to endure hardships like these.
Once, two prisoners, Zhang Xiuhua and Zhu Xiaoxia (both female), used an iron rod to force things into my mouth, causing me to have difficulty in breathing and making my mouth bleed severely. They also used ropes to bind my head, hands, and feet. Four or five of them kicked and punched me, stepped on my head and stomach, and used handcuffs and ropes to bind my hands and feet in such a way that I was fixed in one spot, unable to move. Sometimes they would tie me to the central heating pipes so I could neither sit nor stand, but only squat on my knees or bend over at the waist.
One night in January 2004, when I was outside working, I cried out again, "Falun Dafa is good! Falun Dafa is a righteous practice! Falun Dafa is a cosmic, great practice! Falun Dafa is a highly virtuous, great practice! Falun Dafa is Truth-Compassion-Forbearance!"
Four or five male prisoners, including Quan Xiujie, dragged me into an empty building, ripped off all my clothes, spread my arms and legs out, and tied them to a bed. They poured cold water onto my head and filled my nose with hot pepper juice. They also made me bend over a washboard, placed a bucket of cold water on my back, forced my hands into cold water, and poured cold water all over my body. Meanwhile, they opened the window and forced me to bend over the windowsill in the same position. Then they invited the most vicious people from the other units to come and torture me. Again they tied me onto the bed, with both of my feet soaked in cold water, while they constantly poured cold water onto my head. They then pushed me under the bed and kicked me. They continued such torture day and night, not letting me get any sleep for four days and four nights. My body turned purple and blue from their pinches, my eye sockets also turned blue, and my body weight decreased from 155 pounds to 100 pounds. The division chief said openly, "It is all right for us to do whatever we want to Falun Gong practitioners." They tried to force me to write a so-called repentance statement2, which I refused to write. When they pressured me again, I wrote down what I wanted. They were very angry and tore up what I had written. They then wrote something in place of my statement and handed it in.
After I was released from the prison, I felt ashamed of what I had done, saying bad things about Falun Dafa. However, other Falun Dafa practitioners did not give up on me. Instead, they kindly helped me, allowing me to eliminate many of my incorrect notions.
Note
1. “Illegally arrested”: Contrary to what former Chinese leader Jiang Zemin, who initiated the persecution, and the Chinese Communist Party would like the world to believe, practising Falun Gong is NOT illegal in China. Although the Public Security Department issued an unconstitutional set of restraints on the practice at the onset of the persecution in 1999, no laws have been passed by the only legislative body in China, the People's Congress, banning Falun Gong or granting the police the authority to arrest Falun Gong practitioners for practising the exercises or distributing leaflets.
2. Repentance Statement: In this statement the practitioner is forced to admit remorse for practising Falun Gong, promise to give up Falun Gong, and never again associate with other practitioners or go to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong.
Chinese version available at http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2005/11/14/114385.html
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