About 10 years ago I saw the book Zhuan Falun at a high school classmate's home. I was quite attracted to it after just reading a few pages. I didn't then have any idea about cultivation. I just felt that it was a very interesting book and the contents were a brand new territory for me. The next day I learnt the five sets of exercises from my classmate, and then I went to the practise site.
I was a very introverted person. Some things had puzzled me for a long time. The first day I went to the practise site, just as I started the second exercise, I immediately felt that there was a knot inside my heart. It was a very real kind of knot, not imaginary. The knot surprisingly broke into pieces after a "pa" sound. My heart was instantly released, and my whole body was relaxed. After the exercises I felt how amazing it was that things that had puzzled me for a year simply vanished into thin air. Within a little over a month after that, I went to the practise site almost every day. Sometimes I brought my mother, too.
Later, my high school classmate, the only practitioner I knew at the time, relocated to another place. Both of us had read the book just once and only did the exercises. Usually we competed to see who could sit in the cross-legged position longer and who could hold the Falun Standing Stance longer. We neither re-read the book nor improved our characters according to the teachings. We thought that giving an old lady a little help on the street and no longer being greedy for the little advantages in life would be enough to be a practitioner. Because of not studying the Falun Gong books I didn't see the profound connotation of Falun Dafa and my state of mind didn't improve. Moreover, because of my introverted character and not being outgoing enough to make friends, I didn't get help from other practitioners. I didn't realise the superiority and significance of Falun Dafa cultivation. After continuing like this for a month like this for a month, I couldn't endure doing the exercises in the ice-cold mornings and gradually gave up. Nevertheless, I indeed had the thought, "Such a good exercise! I will practise it again after I retire."
Nearly ten years passed. In those ten years I graduated from a university and moved to Beijing.
The persecution of Falun Gong that began in 1999 confused me. I believed the lies on television. I accidentally saw a "white paper" while riding a bus in 2003. The paper contained information about Falun Dafa and told how it had been awarded proclamations around world. It also included information on how Jiang Zemin and other evil Party members were being sued over the persecution of Falun Gong. My mind took a turn, "Oh, the facts are actually like this!" Although I had not gotten the real facts of the Tiananmen Square Self-immolation incident at that time, this time I actually really began to understand more. The so-called Tiananmen Square Self-immolation had significantly polluted my mind.
That year when I took the train to my hometown, I discussed Falun Gong with the other passengers. Although I couldn't say too much, since I didn't know the facts about the self-immolation, I was quite confident and said loudly, "Falun Gong is definitely being treated unjustly. Think about it: one person could be misled; it is unlikely that a hundred million people are misled. Only something good could attract that many people." The passengers agreed that it made sense.
In 2004 I experienced some serious personal issues and career problems. Moreover, my deeply beloved mother became seriously ill and once lost consciousness. By then I started to wonder about the meaning of life.
Coincidentally, a new roommate who had a religious background moved in. She did everything possible to persuade me to also believe what she believed. We started to debate because many topics had to do with cultivation. In the end I couldn't stop recalling Falun Gong, and the kind of purity and auspiciousness that had awakened me nearly ten years earlier. It instantly reminded me of the book Zhuan Falun that I had read only once. It reminded me in particular of virtue and the transformation of karma.
At that time I really sprouted a strong will to practise, but under such an evil environment in Beijing, where could I find a fellow practitioner? I was really eager, really did not know what to do and hence did the sitting meditation in bed every night. I could recall how to do the gesture of Jieyin and sat there for 30 to 40 minutes.
Then I experienced a miracle. I went to the Beijing University campus for a walk and saw a person doing the exercises inside a quiet garden. I was immediately attracted by the once-familiar movements. Wasn't it Falun Gong that I longed for? I followed him and mimicked the exercises. But he probably misunderstood my inexplicable actions, and he walked away.
While I missed this opportunity, our merciful Master1 arranged a second chance for me. That high school classmate who had not gotten in touch with me for 10 years surprisingly got hold of my phone number and called me. I let her tell me the facts of the self-immolation over the phone and told her I really wanted to study the Falun Gong teachings. She didn't hesitate to take the risk to mail me the hand-written, reproduced articles page by page.
Finally, she flew to Beijing. Holding the treasured book, I read it eagerly. During the weekend I read it for two whole days and nights at home. During the day when I went out or took the bus, I listened to the recorded lectures. When I saw the sentence "Melt Into the Fa" I didn't know how much I could understand, yet I asked myself not to separate from the Fa2 except for when I slept. Walking on the street I let myself assimilate into the auspicious Buddha Fa. That kind of one body, peaceful feeling is really hard to describe.
That classmate brought me many materials to expose the persecution. Having seen veteran practitioners' diligent states and their brave actions in difficult situations to validate the Fa moved me to tears again and again. "These veteran disciples are doing so well. I really fell behind."
My classmate soon returned to the south. I became more diligent on my own. The improvement of my level was as fast as a running train at that time. It didn't take too much effort to go through the difficult blockages and very quickly I felt as if I were reborn. One night during sleep I felt I was fluttering in the air and saw white fog all around.
I bought a printer and a VCD burner and started to print some materials to expose the atrocities. I had no idea how to break through the blockade. That classmate helped me to contact a practitioner in Shenzhen who taught me step by step how to break through the Internet blockade. When I got on the Minghui (Clearwisdom) website for the first time and saw all sorts of touching stories, I was really moved to tears. In the end I was choked with sobs. I was deeply moved by those veteran practitioners' righteous thoughts and righteous actions. It also encouraged me to hold my faith firm and not disappoint Master.
By following the instructions I made informational materials. Basically I clarified the facts wherever I went. In the beginning I didn't know how to answer questions such as, "What is Falun Gong?" Gradually I was able to clarify the facts logically and reasonably. Some people would sincerely say, "Thank you" after they understood the facts. One cab driver shook my hand and expressed his gratitude repeatedly.
Usually I would personally hand the materials to others and also urge them to "read about it." I could feel Master's merciful protection at all times, reminding me about safety, preventing me from dangerous situations again and again. Once when I was reading a Falun Dafa book on a train, a passenger noticed and called out loud. The entire compartment was in a tumult, and a policeman who was on a business trip was alerted. He fiercely ordered me to put the book away; otherwise I would have to take the consequences. In the beginning I wanted to cry from sadness, until I clarified the facts and finally got everyone's silent approval. The policeman surprisingly also inquired of me what Falun Gong is about and let me talk about it in detail. When the policeman got off the train, my hands were still holding my book.
Although I am virtually practising alone, I always feel as if Master is nearby and I don't feel lonely. In fact, I feel very fulfilled. Practitioners' experience sharing articles on the Minghui website have become my best friends. They always remind me to be diligent and to learn from those who have been practising for some time.
I know I don't have much to share on my practise path, not having any touching or glorious experiences. On the other hand, taking such a long pause in my cultivation has made me feel very repentant. I deeply understand my significant mission and will strive to fulfil it. Moving forward on Master's arranged path, my life is fulfilled in Falun Dafa and everything will be in it.
1. Master/Teacher: Respectfully referring to the founder of Falun Gong, Mr. Li Hongzhi.
2. Fa: Law or principle; the teachings in Falun Gong.
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