My New Enlightenment to "Looking Within"

A while ago, my work unit gave awards to all the full-time employees, except me, who worked on one task. At that time, I didn't have any feeling nor was my heart touched. I clearly knew this was intended for me. I thought, "Piece of cake!" Because I rarely have attachments to money, if this was a test of my heart about money, then it would not have much effect.

At this time some people started talking about it in front of me constantly, more and more. My heart was touched with thoughts of injustice. I immediately understood that this was not triggering an attachment to money, instead it was targeting my attachment to unfairness.

From this I understood one thing: when I face something that I'm not attached to, I'm calm and stay unmoved. My heart continues to be an onlooker. All of a sudden I understood why I could not be so clearheaded to those things I have attachments to. Why could I not stay outside of the "trap," and treat it with a pair of cold eyes? Wasn't that testing the same sort of facade? Wasn't it also aiming at a certain attachment? Why at that time could I not remain calm, but instead became deeply trapped inside, and could not even pull myself out? Every time I became trapped, I would start to remember, "Oh, I'm a practitioner, this is a test, and I need to look within and improve my character." I came to realize that I should get out of this trap, and so I started to pull myself out. What a huge detour I've taken!

Why this time was I so clearheaded? Because when I don't have the attachment, my eyes aren't deceived by a facade. I'm looking at this from the surface level, but if I truly look deeper, I feel I can immediately see the truth and my mind won't be perplexed. When all tests arrive, I can stand outside to look at them, access the situation, and then look at what attachment has been touched. Whatever is touched should then be cleaned. This way it'll be faster and more effective in eliminating my attachments. I don't have to detour and come back after hitting a wall, and it won't need to be so bitter, so I can progress with faster steps.

I feel that we need to be clearheaded whenever something happens to test our xinxing. First, look at it clearly from outside, and look at how the mind is touched, what is touched, and that's what needs to be removed. The test is for that purpose. At this moment, no matter how bad I feel, I need to overcome it and defeat it with strong willpower. Eliminate it whenever it's found. I could never tolerate it or try to eliminate it slowly. That would make it strong, unnecessarily strong.

Our cultivation is to eliminate attachments. Every one of us knows what Master says, "... the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." ( Zhuan Falun). Cultivation is to cultivate our hearts. The challenge is how we can eliminate attachments as fast as possible. This is the purpose of my writing this article and hope this can be a reference to other practitioners.

Please correct me if you see anything inappropriate.