Finding the Lost "Me"

I recently re-read an article I wrote after starting to practise Falun Gong in 1998 and before the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) persecution of Falun Gong began in 1999. It awakened me. In the article I wrote:

I have obtained the most precious Dafa, so I cherish this opportunity a lot. Studying the Falun Gong teachings, the Fa, made me understand how to be a good person and a cultivator. Teacher said,

"Actually, this Fa, I've said that it is the Law of the cosmos in the first place. It includes all of you--all of you are within this Fa. So this Fa is also yours. Whether or not you safeguard this Fa, whether or not you promote this Fa, whether or not you spread this Fa, and whether or not you assimilate into this Fa in the future, all of these are in your own hands." ("Comments Regarding the Fa-Rectification Made at the Falun Dafa Assistants Meeting in Beijing" from Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa)

From that I came to the realisation that spreading the Fa was the responsibility for a true cultivator. Therefore, I spent all my spare time studying the Fa and promoting the Fa. I told the people around me the wonders of Falun Dafa and helped my relatives, friends and classmates to obtain the Fa. I went to downtown areas and suburbs to promote the Fa on weekends andI helped young practitioners to study the Fa, do the exercises and do their homework. Wind or rain, I always went to the assistant centre in the suburbs to promote the Fa, even though I was not an assistant. I helped the new practitioners by patiently teaching them the exercises and leading them to understand "Group Fa Study" and "Group Exercise" - the forms of cultivation that Teacher gave to us. I wished for them to understand cultivation, the final goal of cultivation, the importance of Fa study, and how to harmonise cultivation with ordinary work and life. When other practitioners endured sufferings to eliminate karma, I cared for them and helped them to elevate their understandings based on the Fa. They became firmer in their belief in Dafa and I got to know the meaning of "treat sufferings as happiness." When facing the criticism and sarcasm of ordinary people, I was not moved. I clearly understood that it was a test of whether I was firm on the Fa, and that was cultivation. At the same time, I was able to safeguard Dafa at my level.

My earlier writing shocked me. I was able to recite up to the Sixth Lecture in Zhuan Falun and most of the articles in Essentials for Further Advancement after a few months of practising Falun Dafa. Now when I look at how well I studied the Fa and carried out such righteous actions, I question how well I am now cultivating! It was the true "me" who did all that.

But all those accomplishments were given by Teacher to ensure that I could cultivate. Teacher said,

"By July 20th of 1999 I had already pushed all of the pre-July 20 students to their positions--I pushed you to your highest positions. I've told you before that your changes start from the utmost microcosm and original nature. Some students felt, 'I'm cultivating so rapidly.' You all felt like that back then. The process of your Consummation and your final elevation in cultivation were both for the purpose of your validating the Fa later on." ("Touring North America to Teach the Fa")

But after the persecution began, I made mistakes due to my fear and lost the determination to diligently advance due to my pursuit of comfort and ease. I forgot my predestined relationship with Dafa and forgot my responsibility during the Fa Rectification period, which was the path for my cultivation.

I shared my article and my understanding with practitioners in our Fa study group. We all had new understandings of the cultivation form. Therefore, we were able to help other practitioners around us and those in nearby regions who had yet to form Fa study groups to come back to "Group Fa Study" and "Group Exercise." We shared with others on how to completely reject the old forces' arrangements, be more considerate and forgiving, coordinate well, do well the three things and harmonise cultivation with study, work and family lives.

More and more practitioners have come back to their cultivation paths and have advanced diligently in the environment of group Fa study. The splendid scene of cultivation before the persecution has returned! I have found the "path" that I was familiar with before. The direction and form of this "path" has not changed, but my understanding of it is completely different. Like before, I clarify truth about Dafa to other people when possible and recite the Fa (I have recited Zhuan Falun five times). Only when we study the Fa well can we do well the three things. I have learnt that we should discover our attachments and eliminate them by studying the Fa. Then we can raise up on the Fa. That is true cultivation. That is really studying the Fa!