Children Are a Mirror of Our Cultivation

My son started reading "Zhuan Falun" when he was five, one or two paragraphs per day, or three to four paragraphs when his xinxing (character) was good. He is almost six now and can recognize most of the characters in the book. He learned his characters from reading Zhuan Falun. Even when he was three, my wife pointed out the characters to him and read to him. Nowadays, the three of us read three to four pages of Zhuan Falun every evening and memorize two poems from Hong Yin. In addition, my son follows the exercise VCD with Teacher's instructions and does all the standing exercises from Monday through Friday. On the weekends he does the sitting exercise for 20-30 minutes.

Compared to a year ago, my son has a better understanding of Fa principles and has become firm in his cultivation. He is also doing the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) . However, as he grows up, his mind is getting more complicated. He has picked up some bad behaviour from his kindergarten class and is sometimes very short-tempered. When his demon nature takes over, he is not very respectful of Dafa. He gets angry and slaps the desk when we remind him to sit properly and do the exercises properly. For a long time, we did not know what to do. We either yelled at him, spanked him, or gave up on him, which we knew was not right.

We asked ourselves, "When we think that our son is not doing well, are we looking at it from our own perspectives? Are we in line with the Fa ourselves? How does Teacher treat us when we have strong attachments? Was it severe punishment or bountiful compassion that moved us to tears and motivated us to advance more diligently?" In fact, my son was able to finish the five sets of exercises at other practitioners' homes. I thought hard about it and found that my son's state was a reflection of my attachments. When I am pure in mind, my son is a very good practitioner.

1. Faith in Teacher

My son's grandmother was against his doing the exercises. She was afraid that due to my son's show off mentality, he would say something he should not at school and cause trouble. As soon as she saw him doing the exercises or studying the Fa, she would ask him to do something else. Sometimes she was very stern with him. So, my son would close the door when he did the exercises. When his grandma came into his room, he would stop. Later on, I asked him, "When you were scared, did you think about Teacher?" He said that he forgot. A few days later, he did it again. I reminded him to call for Teacher. He said he wasn't sure if it would be useful. I held his hand and said, "How do you know that it will not work since you have not even tried?" He agreed to try next time, but he wanted me to be there.

One day when he was doing the exercises, the door abruptly opened. My son looked at me with fear on his face. His grandma was standing at the door. I signalled for him to continue. She walked towards him and stood behind him. His legs were trembling and he was going to put his arms down. He turned to look at me. I reminded him to call for Teacher. Then he stood tall and relaxed. His grandma did not get upset and smiled, "Oh, you are rather dedicated. I will not bother with you anymore. Go ahead and practice." My son was very excited. He came to understand what it means to have faith in Teacher.

My son's grandmother is a doctor. When he was sick, she thought that he had to take medication. Every time he had illness karma, my wife and I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear out the interference. When it did not have an effect right away, his grandmother would force him to take some medication, using candy and toys as a lure or scaring him by threatening not to take him out to play. My son would just follow along and said that Grandma's candies were tasty. We talked to him and asked him to think about what cultivation truly is and what illness means to cultivators and reminded him to remember Teacher when he is being pressured by his grandma.

On the second day, he told his grandma that he was not sick and at the same time thought about Teacher. Grandma did not insist anymore. This incident further increased his faith in Teacher. A few days ago, my son was home alone when there was a blackout. When we got home, he was very excited to tell us that Teacher gave him a test by having him be alone in a dark room. He said that he was not scared because he had Teacher in his mind. Having faith in Teacher had firmly rooted in his mind.

We think that all that has happened to our son has to do with our cultivation. We have had many arguments with my mother on such issues for a long time. When we can be calm and my son can have firm faith, all interference is gone. This is really a case of "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master."(Zhuan Falun)

2. Studying the Fa

Our son has studied the Fa with us for over two months. At first, he would heshi to Teacher's portrait before we started and was very attentive in reading the Fa. After a while, he slacked off. He only paid attention when he was reading and when others read, he was absentminded. He became upset when we reminded him to remain focused. We wasted a lot time on it, which was frustrating. One day, I calmed down and really looked inward to see what was bothering us. I wondered if we saw raising a young practitioner as a task to meet our own needs; once we accomplish the task of teaching him the Fa, we send him to sleep and we can do other things. Our selfishness was reflected in his only paying attention when he was reading.

3. Producing informational materials

In the past, we made truth clarification materials when my son was asleep because we were afraid that he would tell others what we were doing. We were very limited as a result. A fellow practitioner suggested that our son do it with us. Our son was so happy when we invited him to join us so we asked him to thank Teacher for that. It was the most exciting thing for him to do, more exciting than watching cartoons or playing computer games. He became very experienced in burning CDs. He did it while singing Dafa songs. He was very lovely and pure when he worked.

Recently, he has been lax. Whenever he has time, he watches VCDs for children and plays computer games and does not want to make materials. I realized that I am not doing well in my cultivation. A great deal of interference has prevented me from paying attention to him. I sometimes forced him to turn off the children's program that he was watching. He became rebellious. We did not really spend much time with him. He was so happy when we actually sat down to read with him, do wooden puzzles, tell stories with him, but we could not do this too often. We kept telling him, "You are a little practitioner and different from other kids. We don't have much time to play with you but you should get rid of your attachments to play." He would agree but still wanted to play a bit more.

When he misbehaves, we tend to scold him, spank him, or send forth righteous thoughts. It works some of the time. However, sometimes it even has an opposite effect. At these times, we forget to cultivate ourselves. We forget that "as a practitioner, the first thing you should be able to do is to not fight back when you are beaten or sworn at--you must be tolerant. Otherwise, what kind of practitioner will you be?" (Zhuan Falun)

When we only want to change others instead of ourselves, that is the manifestation of the old cosmos' beings, which is what we need to correct. There is also sentimentality involved: "You are my son. I raised you and I push you to study and do the exercises for your own good. You have to listen to me." Think about what Teacher has done for us and His compassion. Think about what Teacher said,

"I often say that if all a person wants is the well-being of others and if this is without the slightest personal motivation or personal understanding, what he says will move the listener to tears. I have not only taught you Dafa, but have also left you my demeanour. While working, your tone of voice, your kind heartedness, and your reasoning can change a person's heart, whereas commands never could! " ("Clearheadedness" from Essentials for Further Advancement)

We must wake up and cultivate ourselves in how we treat our child. When children misbehave and cause us to feel uneasy, we should look for what made our hearts move and calm ourselves down. We should communicate with our children more often and encourage them to point out what it is that we did wrong. When we can elevate in the Fa, our children's behaviour is usually good.

The above are my personal cultivation experiences. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.