Digging Out the Root of Selfishness

I am a veteran practitioner who learned Falun Dafa in 1997. But at the last stage of this "precious beyond measure" moment, I was unable to do as Master requested, to be more diligent as the end comes closer. Because of the interference caused by my attachments, human notions, selfishness and the attachment of seeking comfort, my cultivation status was becoming more downhearted, lifeless, more slack and laissez-faire. I was worried in my heart, but I couldn't make myself become diligent even though I wanted to be. On the surface I was still doing some Dafa-related work, but I was in a state of just doing everyday things and following the prescribed order. I wasn't able to calm down when I was doing the exercises. I felt as if I was just carrying out my duties. Sometimes I fell asleep when sending righteous thoughts. I then tried leaving my eyes open, but my mind still wandered.

My cultivation status was worsening to the point that I even had various types of interference while sending forth righteous thoughts at the four daily times. I wasn't able to send righteous thoughts properly. My health situation also got worse, and many symptoms I had before I started cultivating reappeared. This not only created a negative impact on clarifying the truth, but also caused some confusion in my understanding of the Fa principles. Master's voice kept ringing in my ears, "You would be ruining yourselves, then." ("Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference") I tried to look within, but because I didn't study the Fa (the teachings of Falun Gong) well and was not clear on the Fa principles, my looking within was merely a surface phenomenon, so I wasn't able to find the root problem. I was doing things as a mere formality, and my entire being felt as if it were tightly bound by a kind of invisible substance. I was tired and suffering. When a fellow practitioner saw my precarious condition, she was really worried. She came to see me several times and shared and studied the Fa with me. Because of my attachment, I felt that the result wasn't good, and I also had negative thoughts towards that practitioner, finding her wordy, talkative, and troublesome.

I shared about my process of looking inward with a fellow practitioner. I felt that everything that I said was trapped within "myself," such as, "my cultivation status is not good," "I can't clarify the facts well," "I didn't do well," "I didn't catch up with the pace of Master's Fa-rectification," "I haven't met the Fa's requirements," etc. There were many more. I felt I was trapped within the boundaries of "myself," and I wasn't able to make myself clear. This practitioner persevered with me, saying that Master's article "Cautionary Advice" kept appearing to her at that time, and it became more clear the day before,

"If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell to reach Consummation." ("Cautionary Advice" from Essentials for Further Advancement)

Suddenly these words appeared in my head,

"...Saves beings,
Notions change,
The degenerate perish,
Light and brightness show."
("New Life" from Hong Yin)

I suddenly became enlightened and realized that my problem was the starting point from which I looked at things. Because my starting point was my individual cultivation status, I was trying to eliminate my attachments one by one. Therefore I was improving slowly. Of course we should cultivate ourselves. This is of prime importance and something we must do. But I thought those attachments were myself, and I was not able to get out of this trap. I knew it was the final stage of the Fa-rectification. I thought, Who am I? I must be clear on this. I am a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple who shoulders the great responsibility of assisting Master with the Fa-rectification and saving sentient beings! Master has given us the best and the most sacred things, and taken us on a divine path to save sentient beings. While we cultivate ourselves, we are on our way to a new world, to the new cosmos. We are reaching consummation, becoming the lords and kings of the new cosmos, leaving an example for the people of the future to walk their way on the divine path. What a glory this is, and what a great honour it is in this universe! But I wasn't able to catch up with Master's Fa-rectification pace, I was wandering within the boundary of the human thinking of "myself."

I finally found it. It was "selfishness," the fundamental characteristic of the old universe! This is something that belongs to the old universe. It will be eliminated if it doesn't assimilate to the Fa. Could "it" be me? Absolutely not! Because of it, I was trying to protect myself from being arrested when clarifying the facts. Because of it, I was full of worries. I was afraid of not being understood by others or losing face. I was afraid of losing a stable cultivation environment. It was also the reason that I chose to share what I did well without mentioning things that I didn't do well. I only wanted to change others but not myself, and was protecting my own fame, vanity, and face. All along I thought that it was myself. Who is the real me, then? Who is my true self? I must be clear on this. I am a Dafa disciple, a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, and a cultivator on a divine path. Master told us from the very beginning that he has transformed us into the best and purest high-energy matter from the origin of our lives. As long as we are on the Fa and within the Fa, there is nothing that we can't achieve. We are Gods, Master's Fa has set that. I felt clearly that I broke through a layer of shell! I am out of it. Thank you, Master!

When I next looked at the interference of feeling down and the pressure of hardships, they disappeared instantly. My whole body felt light. At that moment, my eyes blurred with tears, and I understood that Master had taken the bad substances off of me in the other dimension after I had enlightened to this Fa principle. "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transforming of gong is done by one's master." Master has already told us that in Zhuan Falun.