Raising Xinxing While Cultivating

I began the practice in 2004, under the encouragement of my relatives. My mum, who had already started the practice, introduced me to Falun Gong in 1997. I had left a stable, easy government job at that time and started my own business. I thought I needed to make more money to cure my illness and decided that I did not have time for Falun Gong practice. I told my mother, "I don't have time for this. I don't have the motivation at this time. I may consider it after I am retired."

I missed such a golden opportunity and stayed away from Dafa for seven years. However, Master did not give up on me. I finally became a practitioner in 2004.

Ever since I was young I had many illnesses. I had psoriasis since I was three or four years old; problems with my cervical vertebra, with my stomach and shoulder joints and arthritis, and gynecological problems. To cure psoriasis, I travelled half of Mainland China and spent a lot of money. Instead of finding a cure, my health deteriorated from an overdose in medications. I was bothered with my illness from head to toe, lost the hope of living, and once attempted suicide.

Once I began the practice, Master purified my body. For less than two months I had a feeling free of illness. More important: after reading Zhuan Falun and Master's new articles, I understood what it means to be human; why people have to suffer illnesses or hardships, and I gained a new understanding of the true meaning of life. Thereafter my mind was clear, and I was completely changed. I told my family that since beginning the practice I became the happiest person in the world.

Initially, Zhuan Falun's contents led to me be puzzled; I sensed a somewhat incredible feeling and had some doubts. I had no motivation to study the Fa - not until I installed software to break through the Internet blockade so that I could access the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. Reading other Dafa practitioner's cultivation experiences made me realize my problem: lack of Fa study! I then set aside a certain block of time each day for Fa study and persisted with it. I still felt what Master mentioned was difficult to comprehend and did not know what was expected of me as a practitioner during the Fa Rectification period. What are the old forces? Since I could not find other practitioners in my area, I continued in this confusion for another six months.

I eventually bought a printer, printed out Master's new articles and read them systemically one more time. I was then clear and understood who Master was, and who I was. Since then I gave up all human pursuits and concentrated on doing the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people). Whenever I have time to sit down I read the Fa or listen to a Fa lecture.

I have read all Dafa books more than ten times, and read Zhuan Falun countless times. I am in the process of memorizing Zhuan Falun. By studying and memorizing the Fa I built a solid foundation for involvement in the Fa rectification.

I also understood why Master emphasizes Fa study; studying the Fa is not our final destination; it serves the purpose of retrieving the Fa when the need arises, and to guide us in what we do. Although I was clear in theory, I still had trouble when a problem occurred.

In the early days of my cultivation, the city planned to hold a spring sports game. Pupils
from four elementary schools would present a group performance at the opening ceremony. The office director assigned me, a music teacher at one of the elementary schools, to participate in the practice and rehearsals with kids from our school. I knew this was a tough job, and thought about this as an opportunity for me to improve my xinxing (character). I was very happy to accept this assignment. Rehearsing at a stadium, I was also assigned to walk with the kids to the stadium, back and forth.

Several times afterwards I complained to my husband, "If I were not practicing Falun Gong, I would not be so tolerant. They should take a turn and walk with the kids." Although I said I would do things according to Truth-Compassion-Forbearance, I still felt unfairly treated and even felt justified.

On the day of the opening ceremony, the director told us to dress up, and the school would provide transportation for us. I put on a skirt and wore high heels. When I arrived to the school the director said, "It would be great if you could again walk with the kids to the stadium instead of riding in a car." I was unhappy and unwilling and replied, "How can I walk with my high heels?" "Go change into sports shoes at the office." After I changed my shoes she commented, "Time is tight, and you have to run with the kids." I got very angry and shouted, "What did you say? You want me, a 40-year-old woman, to run with kids in the street? I can't do that." As soon as I was done shouting, I became acutely aware that I was a practitioner. I should have tolerance, and I should not argue with her. So, I ran quickly to the school door to catch up with the kids. I passed the first xinxing test with unstable thoughts through this experience.

Since this incident I focused more on Fa study to improve my xinxing. I passed the xinxing tests more smoothly than before when a problem occurred, even once when the school principal shouted at me in front of all the teachers over a little matter. My mind was so calm. At home I overcame my short temper and did things according to Truth-Compassion-Forbearance so that the whole family saw the goodness of Falun Gong. Now my mother-in-law, husband and children have started practicing Falun Gong. Cultivation made me realize that one can overcome any hardship as long as one reminds him or herself to behave as a cultivator.

I was able to get on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website six months after the practice. Getting online every day became a habit, and the website helps me cultivate. There are many articles regarding how to create a home based Dafa materials production site. Many practitioners wrote of their experiences. A certain practitioner had a computer and was able to go online. That would lead to several being ready to have a production site if they had a printer, but they chose not to. I felt that they were talking about me. I had all the equipment, but never thought about operating my own production site. I thought that my responsibility was to distribute Dafa materials and relay them to others practitioners for producing Dafa materials. I saw my big shortcomings in myself. Master has done so much for us, but I had let him down and did not meld myself into Dafa, as Master requires. Eventually it occurred to me to establish a materials site, which was established with help from other practitioners. It added one more site to the thousands of sites.
For three years, the production site has never been that smooth. I also help the other practitioners with their production site, and I am their technical support person. They praise my talents, but I know that Master provides those talents.

I have felt Master's protection and compassion. Once, a practitioner skilled in computer technology re-installed the computer system for us with firewalls. He discovered that I did not have any firewall in the previous system, but I went online to QQ website, chatted with people and asked them to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). He was surprised that the Internet police did not catch me. I told him I had been doing QQ chat for about a year, and was able to convince several people to quit the CCP. He said that I was extremely lucky not getting caught by the online police. I was scared after the fact, but also knew that Master was there to protect me.

The persecution escalated prior to the 2008 Olympics; virtually all the local materials sites were destroyed, and many practitioners were arrested. The atmosphere was tense. Certain practitioners were afraid of doing the three things and one told me, "You better not to deliver the materials to that unsafe place. You may wait for a while." The evil old forces would be overjoyed if we were fearful and stopped our mission. How could I only consider my personal safety and thus lose an opportunity to offer more people salvation?
I am not afraid; I have Master and Dafa. I continued doing what I used to do with the materials delivery, and did it with wisdom. Before setting out on a delivery I sent righteous thoughts and asked Master for protection, and felt Master was there to protect me. With full righteous thoughts and without fear, I did not encounter any problems.

Recalling my cultivation, I was in pain when I failed tests and joyful to see the improvement of xinxing. I still have some distance to travel. I will try my best to do the three things and let Master worry less and be more gratified with my efforts.