"Mum, I Miss You So Much!"

Below is a letter from Boru to his mother, who is incarcerated in a forced labour camp:

Mum, How are you doing?

I haven't seen in you so long. I miss you so much! I am writing this letter but I am not sure whether you will be allowed to read it. I sincerely hope a kind guard will let you read this letter.

After leaving little Tianhang to someone, Grandma and I started to follow the lawyer to look for you. However, we were not allowed to see you. On May 3rd, when we heard from an acquaintance that you were in a law centre, we rushed there with the lawyer. Yuan Shuqian did not even admit that you were there. We could not get any news about you until May 16th, when you were already in the forced labour camp. I had to write you this letter because it is impossible for me to visit you.

Mum, we used to have a big happy family. Grandma, grandpa, and auntie used to live with us and we laughed a lot together. But since July 1999, in my childhood and teenage years, one disaster after another hit us. Our family just fell apart.

The morning of July 20th, 1999, about twenty plain clothes policemen intruded into our home. You and Dad were arrested. Our home was turned upside down. I was the only one left, frightened and crying. No one took care of me for the next fifty days. I was not even ten years old then. I had to wander around. One of my legs became infected and oozed pus.

Finally, you came back, but we no longer had a normal life as before. Police would call us, harass us and arrest you even when it was a holiday. You were not allowed to leave Shijiazhuang. Going back to our grandparent's place or going on even short trips became impossible. By the end of June 2000, your managers started to come and harass us. They forced you to write a "guarantee letter" to stop practising Falun Gong and stopped your salary. Both of you lost your jobs, and we didn't have an income anymore.

In the evening of July 19th, 2000, the political head from East Street Police Station came to our home and arrested you, and released you after nine days. In September 2000, Dad was arrested because he read Falun Gong books on a train. He was transferred among several police stations and detained for four or five days. Later on, a group of police came to ransack our home. During the October 1st holiday in 2000, agents from the East Street Police Station and from the Vice Squad, together with staff from the Residential Committee, tried to arrest us and search our home again. They didn't succeed because of your protest. However, we no longer dared to stay home and went into exile until the holiday was over.

On December 5th, 2000, a dozen of plain clothes officers arrested Dad from home. They also ransacked our home. Grandma was so scared that she trembled. After that she could not move but took to her bed. From then on, her heartbeat would accelerate whenever she heard someone knock on the door. At that time, you used your better judgement to get away, but had nowhere to go but to Beijing, to appeal for justice. Beijing police beat you so badly that your lower body was black. At first you vomited blood and later you had blood in the stool for more than 20 days. Your whole body was swollen. You could only open your eyes a slit and were unable to wear shoes and could not walk.

During your time in a police station in Beijing, the police forbade you from using the toilet. Beijing Chongwen District Detention Centre guards fed you drugs and made you suffer a lot. While in this condition, you were sent to the Luancheng Detention Centre for one day because of your symptoms and then returned to Shijiazhuang. The officials eventually released you. Once you had recuperated, you went out to seek justice for Dad. Communist Party agents used all means to prevent your appeal, found excuses to catch you, threatened you by phone, even threatened to arrest me. You usually took me with you while in exile because we could not go back home. Plus, you had to work to make a living. How hard it must have been for you!

While Dad was in a forced labour camp, the officials deprived him of sleep over a long time. He was so exhausted that he fell asleep involuntarily. One of the heads instructed a criminal to burn Dad's fingernails with a cigarette lighter. Another time, Dad was handcuffed to a metal fence, and both feet were lifted off the ground. They did not let him down for three days. A criminal monitored him constantly. Whenever his feet touched the wall, his ankle would be hit. I heard that as long as the criminals were tough and cruel to Falun Gong practitioners, they would get reduced terms. The criminal who monitored him worked very hard, and even followed him to the toilet.

Because Dad was under pressure and anxious all the time, he was traumatized and became gradually weaker. At his release the beginning of the year, he was taken to a hospital and was told he had gastric disease. There were reasons to suspect that it was lung cancer. The camp officials had repeatedly declined requests for us to bail him out for treatment. When his life was in real danger, they released him.

Finally, the moment came when Dad was once again home. That day, when Dad saw his image in the mirror -- a man with almost completely white hair, he immediately lowered his head. For days he sat by himself, unwilling to interact with anyone. He became thinner. His cough got worse. His mood was bad, too. He would take a detour just seeing traffic police. He got anxious when he heard someone knocking on the door; and his spirit was close to collapse. His health got worse daily and he died on October 9th, 2003. I no longer had a Dad.

Auntie became healthy after she practised Falun Gong. She was sent to the First Detention Centre in Shijiazhuang in June 2001, where she went on a 20-day hunger strike. She was extremely feeble and several times close to the verge of death. She had no choice but to share a life in exile with uncle.

She suffered so much and had to give up her newborn baby Tianhang, eventually handing Tianhang over to us to take care of. One day at the end of May 2004, a kind person sent auntie back to our home, already unconscious. After five days of hospital emergency care, she died from encephalitis. Tianhang had lost his mum.

After uncle Xiaofeng said goodbye to auntie, he had to leave his one-year-old son. Before Falun Gong, uncle had a hot temper and was notorious for fighting in the neighbourhood. Practising Falun Gong made him calm and kind toward others. He studied diligently and worked hard, and became a better person. But for being a Falun Gong practitioner, he had to become homeless. No one knows his whereabouts now.

Grandpa used to be very healthy. But after the death of his older son-in-law and youngest daughter, looking at little Tianhang all by himself, he cried often. The police also came to our home to harass us. Grandpa died, depressed, angry and anxious.

In one and a half years, our family lost three members. You were the one who supported all of us. Your strong and optimistic spirit kept our family alive and together. Tianhang and I never competed with other children for what we had. As long as we had Mum's care, we felt happy, but we can no longer be with her.

Mum, now only 70-year-old grandma, Tianhang and I are at home. We don't have any income. The attorney suggested we apply for low-income insurance, but even that could not support us. Moreover, we heard from the residential committee that an application for low-income insurance has certain conditions. We don't want to be controlled by anyone. We must be strong! I will take over the burden to support our family. After I finish school this semester, I will quit school and go to work. I will support my grandma and send younger brother to school. Mum, don't worry about us!

Mum, I was afraid before. After all these years of hardship, I began to recite inspiring poems. I am no longer depressed or scared! Mum, living where you are must be agonizing, especially the pain of separation from loved ones. Don't worry about us. Reciting poems will help you pass the hardship.

Mum, I miss you so much! I dreamed several times that you had come back! I believe that day is not far away!

Love you, your son Boru

Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2009/6/25/203338.html