Hold Onto that Last Thought of Righteousness

My daughter's marriage ceremony was to be held in two days. All the aunts and uncles from other regions would be coming to attend the ceremony. Because I needed to arrange food and boarding for them, I took a day off. While my husband was driving us home in the car, my vision suddenly became blurred and I lost consciousness. When I came to, I thought that an earthquake had occurred, but I noticed that my husband was still driving. When I tried to focus, my vision was blurred. This is when I had realized that I had lost consciousness a moment before.

When I got home, I slept for quite a while. I slept until midnight, when some of my relatives arrived. After I got up, my husband took my blood pressure. My systolic pressure was 175 and my diastolic pressure was 110. My family members and all my relatives were shocked. They asked me to go to the hospital right away to get an intravenous infusion. My husband said, "Even after you slept, your blood pressure is still so high. If it doesn't change, you might have a stroke. Will you be able to make it through the marriage ceremony tomorrow?" Seeing me not moved at all, he loudly said, "If you really do not want to go to the hospital, it is still fine if you take some pills to control your blood pressure!" My relatives also said, "Your complexion looks very bad. Be sure that you don't delay treatment." I said to them, "Don't worry, I practice Falun Dafa so my blood pressure will, for sure, drop. I guarantee that I will make it through tomorrow." It was almost dawn, so no one insisted or made further comments.

During the ceremony, when I accompanied the bride and broom to toast our guests, I again felt dizzy, and I was drenched with sweat. The sweat kept flowing into my eyes, so it was difficult to keep my eyes open. While sending righteous thoughts and asking Master to help keep me from falling down, I held onto my husband and went back to my seat. Because many of the attendees at the ceremony, most of them being family members, relatives and friends, had understood the truth about Falun Gong from me, I did not want them to see me in this condition, which might cause them to have doubts about Dafa and thus lose the chance of being saved.

In the evening after I returned home, my blood pressure was even higher than it was the day before. I kept practicing the exercises and doing the meditation, adamantly refusing to take pills to control my blood pressure. The next day I accompanied my relatives for the entire day and saw them off one by one in the evening. On the third day, I went to work as usual, but my blood pressure still did not drop, and I was exhausted. I dozed off when I sat in the car. Seeing my condition, my husband spoke to me harshly, "Do you want to keep this family or refuse taking medicine? If you have a stroke, you won't be able to work and we'll lose the income and even I will lose my job because I'll need to stay at home to take care of you. So what would our family live on? What is the use of just practicing the exercises? Do you just want to kill yourself?"

I felt very dizzy and foggy headed for more than ten days in a row. I was so tired that I just wanted to lie down and sleep. This caused me to waver in my mind: "Should I take some pills so my blood pressure will drop and alleviate the intense atmosphere in my home, and then gradually stop taking the pills through practicing the exercises?" Once I had this thought, one paragraph of Master's words came to my mind:

"If you can truly cultivate, when you can truly let go of your attachment to living or your fear of death--and not just act that way for others to see while constantly thinking about it inside--then no matter what kind of illness you have, it will be cured. In cultivation, the difference between humanness and godhood is just the difference of one thought. This difference of one thought sounds easy, but it can be achieved only with a deep and solid foundation in cultivation. If you can really devote a lot of effort to studying the Fa, you will be able to achieve that." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York," November 21, 2004)

How correct that is! How can ordinary people's substances act upon the body that is becoming divine? So I kept studying the Fa and practicing the exercises while my husband kept complaining. That month my menstrual flow was frighteningly heavy--sometimes it leaked and dripped onto the floor. I told my husband that with the large amount of blood being discharged, my blood pressure could drop because the toxic elements and sickness qi would be purged out of my body. However, my blood pressure was still high and did not drop. I felt even more dizzy and more powerless than I had felt several days before. Every day I forced myself to get up out of bed to go to work. "Are you going to see the doctor or not? Are you going to take the pills? If you don't, let's get a divorce so neither of us needs to take care of the other, since you are not listening to me anyway. I do not care even if you die!" My husband kept complaining every day. He also called my parents, who live far away from us, asking them to persuade me to go see doctors.

If I really had a stroke and became paralyzed, how could I still do well the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) ? How could I go out and clarify the facts and offer people salvation? Those who had learned the truth before because of my efforts of clarifying the facts to them would no longer believe me anymore. With these thoughts, I hesitated again. Master said,

"But how could a divine being have ordinary people administer treatment on him? And how could ordinary people heal a divine being's sickness? (Applause) (Teacher laughs) These are Fa principles. But often the case is that you really don't come across as having all that strong of righteous thoughts. When you can't handle yourself well, then go ahead. If your mind is unsteady, that means you are not meeting the standard to begin with, and prolonging the process won't lead to any changes. And if someone holds out for the purpose of saving face, that is adding attachments on top of attachments. In such cases there are only two choices: You either go to the hospital and thus give up on trying to overcome the test, or you completely let go of everything, behave like an upstanding and noble Dafa disciple who has no resentment or attachments, and leave it to Master to arrange whether you stay or go. When you are able to do that, you are a god." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles," February 25, 2006)

After I read this paragraph of the Fa, Master's words again woke me and thus I made up my mind that I would not go to the hospital or take medicine.

Why was I experiencing such violent sickness karma and why was it lasting so long? I
started to search within myself. I finally found that, besides being very busy in my work during the New Year's holidays, I had also devoted myself to making and distributing Shen Yun Performance VCDs, and I had overlooked my Fa study. While reading the Fa, sometimes I did not put my mind into Fa study and it just became a routine. As a consequence, both my body and my mind lacked the energy of Dafa. The old forces had exploited this gap to persecute and torture me by making my health deteriorate.

After I found the root cause, I watched Master's Fa lecture in Guangzhou three times in a row. When I started watching, I kept yawning and was so sleepy that I unwittingly fell asleep with my face down on the table. After I woke up, I watched the lecture again. Gradually, my mind started to become clear, and I also started to feel increasingly energetic. When I watched the lecture for the third time, my husband said to me, "These several days you look very good and appear very energetic. Let's take your blood pressure." It was normal. So, under Master's protection, under the Fa's light, and with righteous thoughts, I again saw through the old forces' tricks and overcame this huge test of sickness karma.

Now it is the ending period of Fa-rectification. How can we walk well the last leg? Master has already told Dafa disciples,

"... you still have to walk the path of cultivation yourselves. To walk this path well and progress to its end--nothing is more extraordinary. I say that because during the journey you will have hardships, tests of every sort, unforeseen ordeals, and you will have unexpected interference from all kinds of attachments and emotion. The interference will come from family, society, good friends, and even fellow cultivators. And along with this there is interference from changes in the state of human society and from human notions that were formed in society. All of those things can drag you back to being like an ordinary person. But if you can break through all of it, you can advance towards godhood." ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference," February 26, 2005)

No matter what false manifestations may appear, during the test of life and death, only by wholeheartedly believing in Master and the Fa and holding onto that last thought of righteousness can one pass tribulations and return home with Master!