I Must Get My "Self" Out of the Way So That Master's Plan Can Unfold Before Me

Selling tickets for Shen Yun Performing Arts has been an amazing experience that has propelled me forward in my cultivation. Although I have been promoting the show for a few years, I did not actually sell any tickets until a few months ago. It was a process of seeing many of my attachments clearly and then letting them go. It was a process--from being a participant at the ticket sale booths to coordinating and taking responsibility for booths.

Breaking Through My Notions and Attachments

When I first started going to the ticket booths, I didn't feel very confident or competent. I watched and learned from other practitioners, read reviews and articles about Shen Yun, and attended trainings. Gradually I started to develop my own way of engaging people and telling them about the show. My human notions emerged immediately. If someone I spoke to was enthused about the show, my mood would be elevated, but if a person walked by the booth or said they weren't interested, I was deflated. I realized that I was allowing my emotions to control me. If someone looked like he or she had money or were middle-aged or older or were dressed neatly, I would offer the person a flyer and begin a conversation. But if they looked poor or were young or unkempt, I wouldn't, as I assumed they would not be interested in the show. All of these notions disintegrated over time as I saw each of the types of people that I had not approached buy tickets from others.

My style of engaging customers changed from aggressive to laid-back after one experience. I was at a booth in a large mall and walked several feet away from the booth to hand flyers to a small group of men in business suits. One of the men said, "You're too aggressive!" I looked at his name tag and saw that he was the manager of the mall and had allowed us to use the booth. I felt really bad as my behaviour could affect the status of the booth. When I looked inside, I saw the attachment of fear. I was so afraid that I would miss a sentient being to be saved that I was chasing after people. Of course, when I let go of the fear and simply trusted in Master, there was no need to chase anyone.

The attachments of jealousy and the competitive mentality showed up in me on numerous occasions since I was not selling tickets. I was caught up in the pursuit of selling tickets. Before even arriving at the booth I would have a number in my mind of how many tickets I would sell.

Most of the time I was at a booth with Chinese practitioners and inevitably they would tell me what a great job I was doing. Of course, I brushed it off and saw the surface meaning. Since English is my first language, of course I can explain things better; since I'm a Westerner, of course I can relate better to the customers. As the pattern kept repeating itself, I had to look inside. I saw my attachment to self-interest. I realized that I was validating myself and not Shen Yun.

One day a coordinator said that a Chinese practitioner who could speak very little English had stayed at a booth all day by himself and sold a lot of tickets. When I heard this, I looked inside and realized that I was not able to sell tickets because I was looking at it from my human side and not with my Buddha nature. It was not about my technique or knowledge or sales tactics. Although all those are important, it was really about having righteous thoughts.

How did a practitioner who could barely speak the language sell so many tickets? It was because he had a pure mind and heart, and when we are righteous, the gods will help us to fulfil our mission. I looked deep inside to see what was blocking me and saw the attachment to self. The selfish nature was preventing me from fulfilling my mission. I saw clearly that all I have to do is trust in Master. I understood my role from a new perspective. All I have to do is come to the booth with a clear heart and mind, and Master will take care of the rest. I understood that Master has a plan for each sentient being to be saved. All I have to do is maintain a righteous energy field, and Master will send those who should come to the booth, then I just do the physical task of selling the tickets.

I must get my "self" out of the way so that Master's plan can unfold before me. Ever since I had that realization, I have been able to sell tickets.

Being at the ticket booth has helped me to improve my endurance. At first, I would become tired and hungry after a few hours and would start to think about my sore feet or aching legs. Then Master gave me a test. I was at a booth in a store for seven hours on probably the slowest day of the year. It was a Monday, and even the store employees commented that they had never seen business so slow. That day felt like a week. One customer would walk by every 30 minutes or so. I went through a myriad of feelings: frustration, boredom, anger, wondering when the next customer would appear, hunger, thirst, foot pain, leg soreness, etc. I finally realized that I was caught up in the human side of "me" again.

I started sending righteous thoughts to clear the field, and then everything changed. I felt calm and at peace. I forgot about my hunger, fatigue, and all the other things. I was moved to tears as I felt Master's great compassion. I was so grateful for having the opportunity to be part of Shen Yun. After that, my whole approach changed. Before going to the booth, I do the exercises, study, send righteous thoughts, and eat well. Now I am able to stay at the booth for hours without eating or resting, and I feel quite energetic. I feel the urgency of saving people, and with that foremost in my mind, nothing else matters.

Learning How to Coordinate

A practitioner asked me to help her at a trade show, and I agreed. She then had to go out of town, and I became responsible to coordinate the whole thing. There was a booth for Shen Yun and another for the newspaper, and I had to get it all set up, staffed, and broken down at the end of the five-day show. It was quite a challenge.

Before, all I had to do was show up at a booth for a certain time and then leave when it was over. I couldn't see the big picture. Coordinating it all involves so much more, from handling the myriad details, to schedule changes, to working through conflicts, and any other challenges that arise along the way. I had never realized this before.

Coordination is a process of stepping forward and being responsible for everyone involved. My attachment of depending on others was exposed, and I was able to let it go. It also helped me to put others first and to be compassionate toward my fellow practitioners instead of criticizing them.

I also realized that I had become attached to having everything go according to my own plan. I had a schedule made up for the five days and then my computer crashed and I didn't have the schedule. I got really upset and then realized that I needed to let it go and take things lightly. Being organized is a good skill to have and is useful, but I was too attached to everything working out as I had planned.

We continued to set up booths at different trade shows every weekend until Shen Yun came. Usually I enjoyed being at the trade shows as there were so many people to introduce Shen Yun to. However, one venue really tried my patience and ability to focus. Our booth was very close to the stage, and loud music and dancing continued for nine hours. It was yet another test of endurance . So many times I thought about leaving to escape the loud, abrasive music, but then I had to bring myself back to my inner calm and send righteous thoughts and endure and remind myself that I was there to introduce people to the Shen Yun show so that they could be saved.

Selling tickets for Shen Yun is a remarkable experience. I have been moved to tears so many times, seeing people's knowing sides come forth. Some customers get very excited about the show and are so happy to purchase their tickets. Others say, "Thank-you for being here" or " I know all about the show but keep missing it, I better buy my tickets now," "This is so beautiful...I can't wait to see the show," etc. Each time a customer was touched, I felt Master's great compassion for saving all sentient beings and I remembered once again my vow and mission.

Thank you, Master, for providing me with this wonderful opportunity to fulfil my mission. Thank you, fellow practitioners, for your support and encouragement.