A Female University Student's Path of Cultivation (Part 1)

By Xiao Fan

I began to practise Falun Dafa when I was 17 years old, in my third year of high school. Later, I passed the exam to attend a university. We did not have a practice site at the university, so I quietly cultivated by myself.

On July 20, 1999, I was in my second year at the university, when some of the university staff came to me, asking that I give up cultivation. I then clarified the truth of Falun Dafa to them. Later, I heard from an assistant professor, one of those who had come to convince me to abandon cultivation, that after she finished her work with me, she had been criticized by her superior for not being firm enough with me. She did not "transform" me, but had instead come to realise what was going on from me! At that time, the university staff were so worried about my 'case' that they asked my parents to take me home. I could not return to the university until I gave up my belief in Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance and stopped practising Dafa.

My grades had been the best in my department. All the professors who knew me said that I was the most gifted student they had ever seen. Actually, it was Falun Dafa that had endowed me with wisdom. Before I began cultivating, I had been rather narrow-minded, but after cultivating the scope of my intellect widened. All who knew me said that I was among the few people who were very optimistic. It was Dafa that fundamentally changed me! It let me know the true meaning of life. However, simply because I believed in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, I had to choose between the university and Dafa!

At that time in China, all Dafa practitioners were encountering this same issue. They were being forced to choose between work and belief, between study and belief, and between family and belief. Teacher Li said, "You should know that once a person learns the truth and the real meaning of life, he will not regret giving up his life for it." [From Falun Dafa Essentials for Further Advancement II: "Some Thoughts of Mine"]. But due to the fact that I had not studied the Fa [principles of Falun Dafa]very deeply at that time, I did not regard the Fa as a teacher. So I thought that writing a "Guarantee Statement" [guaranteeing not to practise Falun Gong again, not to go to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong, and to never again associate with any Falun Dafa practitioners] was just like playing a word game of political correctness. By writing a "Guarantee Statement," I was able to return to the university.

On June 6 2000, I stood alone on Tiananmen Square in order to make my personal statement of justice for Falun Dafa: "Persecuting Falun Dafa is the most extraordinary injustice in the whole of human history!" I was quickly escorted back to the university, where the staff were very angry with me. They asked me to write a "Repentance Letter" so that I could resume my classes at the university. [A Repentance Letter is a statement to acknowledge remorse for practicing Falun Gong, to give up Falun Gong, and to never again associate with those practitioners who practice Falun Gong and/or go to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong.] Again, I played what I thought was just another game of politically correct words. However, after reading Teacher Li's "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference" [from Guiding The Voyage], I finally realized that what I had done was wrong. I had smeared Falun Dafa and left a blemish upon my path of cultivation. I submitted a "Solemn Declaration" to the Minghui website. [A Solemn Declaration is a statement written by Falun Dafa practitioners to declare the so-called "Three Statements" -- Repentance Statement, Guarantee Statement and Dissociation Statement -- they had written under duress to renounce their faith in Falun Dafa, be declared invalid.] Meanwhile, I found the local Party Secretary and declared that all the previous statements that I had written were now cancelled. (At that time, I had expected to encounter another period in which my university studies were endangered. However, in order to validate Dafa, I could not suppress anything. I now understand that this thought is incorrect.) I used compassion to tell the facts to the Secretary. I was in a good state of mind at that time, and was truly and completely doing it for the benefit of others, without any thought for myself. The Secretary and I were both holding back tears, and finally the Secretary understood the truth. After that, the Secretary not only declined to request any more Guarantee Statements, but also protected me in front of the university staff.

Upon returning to my hometown from Beijing, a fellow practitioner helped me get in touch with a Falun Dafa materials site in the city where I had attended the university. In this way, I returned to the university while spreading the Fa and clarifying the truth to people. I always clarified the truth to all the people around me, regardless of whether I knew them. Teacher Li said in Falun Dafa Essentials for Further Advancement II: "To All Students at the Nordic Fa Conference", "So in clarifying the truth, don't wait, don't rely on others, and don't just hope for changes in external factors. Every one of us is creating history for the future, that's why everyone is not only participating in group activities, but also taking the initiative to look for things to do. As long as something is good for Dafa, you should take the initiative to do it, take the initiative to work on it. Every person you come into contact with in society is someone to clarify the truth to, and what's manifest in clarifying the truth is Dafa disciples' mercy and their salvation of the world's people."

Every day I diligently studied the Fa, while my exam scores remained the highest in the department. During that time, I would pick up the truth clarifying materials while alone and, packing them well, set out to distribute them from door to door. I covered all the student residences, teaching buildings, teachers' apartments and resident houses of a nearby university. In those years, the summer climate was abnormally hot. Every day, I went out at the hottest hour, yet I felt a cool wind gently blowing. During one period, my feet became blistered in blood and sweat. The blood adhered to my socks and shoes so that I could hardly walk, but I still moved one foot ahead of the other, persevering in distributing the materials. During my truth clarification, there were two people who obtained the Fa, and I got in touch with another two cultivators who lived near the university. Together, we formed a small practice site, and we would often get together for important activities. With adhesive tape, we posted a truth-clarifying banner on the street near the university. We did not fear, but instead had a sacred, solemn feeling!

I did not consider that I "was doing" Dafa work, but that I was striving to reach a point of validating Dafa through everything that I did (with a state of mind of doing, but without pursuit). Before engaging in Dafa work, I would always first study the Fa with a clear mind and send forth righteous thoughts [using powerful thoughts to purify the surrouding environment]. When doing things for Dafa, I should not have any bit of selfishness, but think only of others. We should cherish all lives more than our own! While distributing every piece of truth-clarifying material, and putting up each banner, I brought with me a heart of incomparable righteous belief in Dafa, a heart of compassion for the sentient beings and righteous thoughts of purifying everything. For every piece of truth-clarifying material, I silently sent forth righteous thoughts in my heart, clearing out any negative factors that might interfere and making sure that all the people with predestined relationships obtained them.

On October 25 2001, once again standing on Tiananmen Square, I opened a banner with red words on yellow cloth, and loudly proclaimed, "Falun Dafa is good! Falun Dafa is the righteous Fa! Restore the innocence of Dafa! Restore the innocence of Teacher Li!" A policeman grabbed me from behind, dragging the banner, and then tried to cover my mouth with it, but I continued to speak loudly at the groups of people, "The Tiananmen self-immolation was staged by the government!" I was dragged to the police car and sent to the Qianmen Police Station, where I was detained in a cage that had been specially constructed for the Falun Dafa practitioners who go to Tiananmen Square. That day, there were a total of ten Dafa practitioners who had been arrested. (There were many more who had openly come to the Square and then nobly returned home.) We got together, sharing experiences and sending forth righteous thoughts. In the middle of the night, we were sent to a detention centre in a Beijing suburb. The Dafa practitioners were all passively suffering the persecution. A fellow practitioner and I recited Teacher Li's article to them. Through discussion, they realized, "No matter what the situation, do not cooperate with the evil's demands, orders, or what it instigates. If everyone does this the environment won't be this way." [From Falun Dafa Essentials for Further Advancement II: "Dafa Disciples' Righteous Thoughts are Powerful"] We are one body, and must elevate as a whole. When police began dragging Dafa practitioners to be force-fed, we all stood up together, protecting the practitioner with our bodies, to prevent the brutal police from taking him away. The police wildly reacted by dragging us out to beat us. We were then bound together with handcuffs and shackles from behind. Our bodies became like ovals, bending over, lying or squatting. No position could be kept for longer than a few seconds. We could not sleep due to the pain. If we had not relied on our righteous belief, it would have been impossible to endure. I endured it, one second at a time. I clearly realized that they were trying to shake my will, and I had to totally deny these arrangements, so I recited "Lunyu" over and over again. At that moment, whenever I remembered what our benevolent great Teacher had already suffered, I could not stop my tears from flowing. On the second day, a miracle happened and I suddenly felt no discomfort anywhere in my body. Instead of being locked from behind, my arms and legs seemed to be in front, and I was very happy to finally be able sleep through the night.

The police removed our torture hardware because they knew they could not shake our minds and righteous thoughts. I also profoundly experienced the truth that one unshakeable heart can control everything. I went on a hunger strike for nine days before the policeman from my hometown came to take me back. Halfway to our destination, the train stopped. There I succeeded in getting away from the police guard and returning into the massive current of truth clarification.

(To Be Continued)