My Insights into "Selfishness"

I am a teacher and teach English to adults. I started to practice Falun Dafa in 1997, because I was convinced by the Fa principles. My firm belief in Dafa is the fundamental driving force for my cultivation.

I have an eccentric personality. I like to be alone and don't have any desire for fortune or fame. I never liked to make friends. After I started to practice Falun Gong, I thought that more communication would introduce more chances to create karma, because when we communicate, we might accidentally harm others without knowing it. It seemed that I had found an excuse for my eccentric personality in Dafa. Therefore, I intentionally kept a distance from everyone else, including my good friends and relatives. I preferred to live a life over which I had total control and hated having other people get involved in my business.

Actually, the root cause of this attitude is selfishness. Thinking only of myself and following my own desires are clear examples of my selfish character. It is the complete opposite of Master's teaching of "selflessness and altruism." On the surface, I don't like to pursue riches and fame. While I behave as if I have a pure heart and stand aloof from the world, I am selfish inside. The mindset of needing to have "total control" over my life has become a big obstacle in my cultivation. I hate to do housework and am addicted to Internet games. I am so lazy that I sometimes even skip Fa study and the exercises. Without a solid foundation in Fa study, my truth clarification work has generally not been very effective and sometimes even caused damage to Fa-rectification.

By sharing my understandings about selfishness, I hope that I can eventually get rid of it. We have already learned so many secrets about the universe, and we understand the preciousness of Dafa. We should seize this chance to cultivate ourselves and become real Dafa disciples in the Fa-rectification period.