Reflecting on My Cultivation Path

I am a Falun Dafa practitioner from China. When I recalled my cultivation path, witnessed the spread of Dafa, and thought of Teacher's compassionate salvation of sentient beings, tears always came. I decided to write this article to record my cultivation path and share it with fellow practitioners, to help us advance altogether. It is also my contribution for clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa and saving the sentient beings deceived by Chinese Communist Party (CCP) lies.

1. Acquiring and Studying the Falun Dafa Teachings

Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, I was poisoned by the CCP culture. I was a selfish person and admired vanity. I was afraid of loss while doing things, and felt stressed around other people. From a non-practitioner's point of view, I had a good job and family, but I always felt that I lived a painful and exhausting life which didn't have a lot of meaning. Although I was young, I wasn't healthy; I had asthenia (abnormal physical weakness or lack of energy), congested lungs and shortness of breath, and my face was pale. Every month I had to take one or two sick days off work. I felt like wearing masks every day. I often thought about why we were living and the meaning of life; I lived without feeling.

Just when I had many questions which I couldn't understand, I saw the book Zhuan Falun on my colleague's desk. I started to read the book and liked it very much. While reading the book, my questions about life disappeared. I was like a lost child who'd finally found the way home. Teacher said,

"Out in the ordinary world you compete with other people for your reputation and profit, so you can't sleep well, you can't enjoy your food, and you've wrecked your body. When your body is looked at in another dimension even each of your bones is black." (from Zhuan Falun, Chapter 2)

After studying the Falun Dafa teachings, I understood the reason for my physical and spiritual pain. They were all caused by karma from my past lives.

I knew that I'd found the path of cultivation to return to one's original, true self. Since then, I used every possible opportunity to study the teachings. Sometimes, I got up in the middle of the night to study. When my child played in the yard, I just sat on the side and read the Dafa books. I felt my steady heart and really experienced the true meaning of happiness.

2. Cultivating Xinxing

Teacher said,
"Out in the ordinary world, people fight each other, they deceive each other, and they harm other people just to benefit themselves a little. The thoughts behind that all have to go. And this is especially true for us folks learning the practice today--you have all the more reason to get rid of those thoughts." (from Zhuan Falun, Chapter 1)

In my workplace, I had a little power. Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, whenever I purchased something for my office, I never forgot to take something for myself. When someone gave me gifts for business related things, I accepted them. After I became a practitioner, I did not take anything from the office anymore. The vendor said that people like me were rare these days. I told them that I cultivated Falun Dafa and I believed in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Once, to fulfil some students' parental requirement, I taught the student remedial class. After I completed the class with the hosting school, the school wanted to pay me some money according to the 95 yuan tuition for each student. I did not want the money, but the school officials left the money for me, then left. I thought about it for awhile, and decided to return the money to the students' parents, then explain the facts about Falun Gong to them. The parents all happily accepted the money. Some of them also said that people of faith are different from others. Later when I talked to the school officials who hosted the class over the phone, I told them that I returned the money to the students' parents. Because I explained the facts about Falun Gong to them, they understood my actions. I also showed them the practitioners' high moral standard.

In my family, my mother-in-law considered men to be superior to women. Since I had a daughter, I always complained that my mother-in-law was prejudiced against my daughter, but I could not complain in order to save face. In my heart, I struggled with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. When I saw that they had difficulties, I did not help them, but instead took pleasure in their misfortune. It is just as Teacher said,

"A wicked person is born of jealousy.
Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.
A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.
With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.
An enlightened person has no attachments at all.
He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions." ("Realms" from Essentials For Further Advancement)

After I understood this Fa principle, I needed to improve my xinxing (heart and mind nature, character) too. Once, just for a small thing, my sister-in-law insulted me in front of my mother-in-law's entire family and caused turmoil. Before, I couldn't have tolerated it; but now being a practitioner, I wasn't the same as before. I tolerated her actions and didn't argue with her, and in my heart, I didn't get angry either. Even my brother-in-law could not bear it anymore. Later, he scolded his wife. My sister-in-law also felt that what she did was wrong, so she called me and apologized. She also said that it was really good for me to practice Falun Gong since I was different from before. My mother-in-law also acknowledged that I had become a better person. I also treated her with sincerity. On several occasions she felt touched by me, and said that she wanted to treat me as her daughter. My husband always told his colleagues that I was a good wife and mother. My entire family benefited from Dafa.

During my cultivation, I went through many tests of sickness karma. For example, the skin on my hand often had cracks in the winter. I took medicine, applied medicinal ointment, used hand protection from the frost and wore leather gloves, but nothing worked effectively. When the condition became severe, the fingers on my right hand were cracked, bleeding and very painful. After I began practicing Falun Gong, I understood that I'd taken things which did not belong to me, I had a bad temper and slapped my child, and wrote bad articles under the influence of atheism. These actions caused sickness karma, which manifested on my hands. Since then, I was strict with myself and maintained my xinxing. My skin gradually recovered except for the middle finger on the right hand. I thought that it would gradually recover, but after awhile, it got worse. I was a little scared, and thought that the bone might become exposed if the finger became worse. I looked inward to find any attachments or bad thoughts, but couldn't find any. I knew that I had karma and that I had to pay for it. Did I not trust Teacher? Absolutely not! Later, I realized that it was a test to see whether my belief in Dafa was firm. Therefore, I was no longer concerned about my finger's recovery. I only made sure not to let non-practitioners see it; otherwise, since they did not understand Dafa, they would say that practitioners did not take medicine when they were sick. After awhile, the finger completely recovered. I showed others the change in my hands and let them witness the miracle of Dafa.

In the fall of 1998, my face suddenly developed allergic symptoms. I had a rash on my face and it was very itchy. I experienced these symptoms before, so I didn't pay attention to it, but then it became worse. My face turned red and had a rash everywhere except my forehead. I knew that I was vain and cared about my appearance very much. It was time for me to eliminate this attachment. Although I understood the Fa principle, it was still hard for me not to be affected by the rash. Every day, I dealt with a lot of people and they would all stare at me with strange looks. I hoped that it would recover soon. Some people kindly persuaded me to see a doctor as soon as possible in order to avoid scarring on my face. I thought that I was a practitioner now, and Teacher was protecting me. As long as I had these righteous thoughts, I would be fine. Later, some colleagues maliciously said that skin disease could infect others. I thought that I'd already let go of the attachment of my appearance and it should not continue like this. Otherwise, non-practitioners would say that Falun Gong practitioners did not take medicine when they got sick, which could have a negative effect on Dafa. Just after I had this thought, I felt that my face was not as itchy as before. The second day, the rash stopped growing. In the afternoon, bits of skin started to fall off. The third day, my face completely recovered and my facial skin was even smoother than before.

3. Persecuted by the CCP because of Cultivating Falun Dafa

Once, I was reported to the police while explaining the facts about Falun Gong to the public. I did not cooperate with the officers and was detained at the local police station. In the police station, I sent righteous thoughts and persuaded them to quit the CCP and its related organizations. One of the officers knew the truth and he tried to persuade me to acknowledge that I was wrong, so I could be released. I said that Falun Dafa is good and that I was innocent. Later, my family (non-practitioners) were deceived by the police and paid more than 4,000 yuan for my release. Police officers took me to the so-called legal education centre, which is actually a brainwashing centre, but deceived my family by telling them that they sent me to a place with better conditions. They told me that I would be released if I "transformed". They also threatened me by saying that they would send me to the forced labour camp if I didn't give up my belief in Falun Dafa. After a month, the officials recognized that I hadn't given up my belief. They said that they would give me another month to think about it, and asked my family to pay another 4,000 yuan. I replied that we would not pay a penny, and I would not give up my belief under any circumstances. The police then illegally sentenced me to one year of forced labour.

In the forced labour camp, I was mistreated because I persisted in my belief in Falun Gong. I was forced to report to the guards and admit that I was a prisoner in the forced labour camp before they allowed me to eat. I was given only one minute to wash myself and could only take a shower once every several days. I was not allowed to see my family when they visited me. Instead, the guards slandered me by telling them that I didn't want to see them or my child anymore. My family left in grief and anger. All the prisoners in the forced labour camp were allowed to insult and scold me. I was given only very bad quality food and not allowed to buy anything from the prison store. I was not allowed to sleep on the bed, and forced to sleep on a board on the cement ground even in the winter. The forced labour camp officials also hosted meetings specifically to insult the practitioners who remained firm in their beliefs. The officials forced practitioners to do manual labour in order to make money for themselves. They even held elderly practitioners who were over 60 years old. The practitioners had to get up before 5 a.m. and work until 9 p.m. daily without rest, except during lunchtime. When the buyers pushed hard for more products, practitioners were forced to work until midnight. We had direct contact with toxic materials during the forced labour. Many practitioners were beaten and injured, disabled or even persecuted to death. The prisons and forced labour camps in mainland China have committed numerous crimes against Falun Dafa practitioners. With a firm belief in Dafa, I survived the year of forced labour, and was finally released.

Many people around me could not understand why I was illegally arrested and sentenced to forced labour. I worked at an office directly managed by the provincial government. The time I was imprisoned was the same time that my office paid the highest bonuses in recent years. I lost at least 200,000 to 300,000 yuan. Many people looked at me in puzzlement or even disdain. I didn't mind, because I understood that they had all been deceived by the CCP's lies, but I was grieved because they were afraid to listen to the truth. Through the persecution, I became more rational and understood more deeply the seriousness of cultivation and the importance of cultivating ourselves well. Currently, along with the progress of the Fa-Rectification and practitioners' continuous efforts of explaining the facts about Falun Gong, and with my continuous assimilation to Dafa, many non-practitioners around me have changed their attitude and gradually accepted Dafa.

4. Spreading the Truth of Falun Dafa Widely

Teacher said,
"A Dafa disciple completely opposes everything arranged by the evil old forces. Clarify the truth thoroughly, eliminate the evil with righteous thoughts, save all beings, and safeguard the Fa with determination, because you are a part of Dafa, indestructible; rectify all that is not righteous. Those who are 'reformed' and those who are being saved can only be beings who were deceived by the evil. Those who are being eliminated are the evil beings and the evil old forces. Those who are reaching Consummation through all this are Dafa disciples; and through all this Dafa's mighty virtue is established." ("Dafa is Indestructible" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)

After continuously studying the Falun Dafa teachings, I realized the significance of my responsibility to seize the time to save people. Therefore, I clarified the truth to everyone I met and didn't want to miss any opportunities. I cherished every chance that Teacher arranged. Once, a friend of the vice president of my company came to me for some business. I talked with him for a few minutes regarding the corruption of the government. Then, I changed the topic and explained that the mess was due to the bad consequences from the CCP's persecution of Falun Gong. He immediately said that he was previously in charge of arresting practitioners. I asked if he'd read the Falun Gong books he confiscated. He said definitively, "The book is extraordinary!" He told me that he pretended to be sick and stayed in the hospital in order to get out of his current position of arresting practitioners. Later, he was transferred to another job. I praised his wisdom, and then asked if he'd ever quit the CCP and its related organizations. He said no, so I told him the importance of quitting the CCP, and he gladly agreed to quit.

One evening, I got off work and was on my way back home, when I saw a few workers walking towards me. I went up and greeted them, then I clarified the truth about Falun Gong and persuaded them to quit CCP. Maybe it was their first time hearing the truth, or perhaps I spoke too fast, because it looked like they still didn't understand clearly and only one person agreed to quit the CCP. I was a little anxious. Then, a 40 year-old man who I hadn't noticed before said, "They could not understand. Please tell me." I was a little worried that he might be a plainclothes officer, but since he'd already heard what I just said, there was nothing to be afraid of. I gave the workers the truth-clarification brochures and asked them to read them when they got back home. Then, I continued to talk to the man. When I told him about Falun Gong and the beauty that Dafa brought to the people, he was very excited. Soon after, he agreed to quit the CCP and its related organizations. On my way back home, I was nearly in tears. Teacher told us that sentient beings have been waiting thousands of years for today. This is really the truth. After we see the joyfulness of the sentient beings after they are saved and think about the sentient beings who haven't been saved yet, how can we not advance diligently?

Not long ago, I came out of a shopping centre and saw a woman. I talked to her for a minute, then I gave her the Shen Yun Performing Arts DVD and briefly introduced her to Shen Yun. She was very happy and said that she liked dancing. I told her to enjoy the DVD and also pass the DVD among her relatives and friends. She smiled and agreed.
I also met some people who did not accept the truth after I explained the facts. They said bad words, pushed me away, and threatened to call the police. I always remind myself to not be affected by them. These kinds of reactions are caused by factors in other dimensions, so I shouldn't be moved by human notions and should eliminate the evil forces with righteous thoughts. At the same time, I also need to pay attention to truly studying the Falun Dafa teachings and constantly improve my xinxing. Teacher said,

"The power of true compassion can dissolve all deviant factors, and when you talk with a person you will be emitting energy outwardly that dissolves evil things, and the evil in other dimensions will not dare to approach or control that person anymore. When you then reason with that person, he will listen, and you will be able to purge the lies infused into him by the wicked CCP, thus removing the block in his mind." ("Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan")

After studying the Falun Dafa teachings, I realized that I didn't have enough compassion, and still had some very stubborn human notions generated in the human society for a long time. I must eliminate these human notions as soon as possible. The sooner I get rid of them, the purer my own dimensions will be, the stronger my energy field will be, and more people will be saved.